[BorderlineMess]

Perhaps it's the stress of working full time and going to school full time. Perhaps I've realized (for the millionth time) that I have an unsupportive, uncaring family. Perhaps I've realized no one but my dog cares whether I live or die. Perhaps the blade is calling too much. Perhaps I don't have enough scars (I have too many scars...) to tell my story. Perhaps...this forum is just bs....Perhaps I have too many high hopes for living...

I need some advice, some support, some guidance, anything. Some love, some hugs, some something. Am I alone? Is this all I feel? Why do we feel the emotional rollercoaster of bpd?! Help....

[shlump]

You are not alone. You are cared for deeply. It's hard to always see this when it is such a new thing, but it is such an old thing too. My dog loves me too and sometimes that is enough, but don't forget that you are loved. You are loved. You are loved.

The curse of BPD is so huge and crushing, I know.

But you are loved. You are accepted. These words will come and go in your mind, but please keep coming back to them because they are true.

[BorderlineMess]

Thank you.

Thank you so much for responding.

Hang in there, practice the breathing you did earlier and go on YouTube or www.audiodharma.com and pick out a few guided meditations to do. Some are very short, less than 5 minutes. Do something enjoyable or at least distracting; take a bath or read. We all feel like you do; it usually catches up with me late at night before bed. You'll be okay. This forum isn't bs..we care about you. A lot of people express a lot of things on it, though and sometimes it can get to you. When you feel that happening, walk away. Think of yourself. We'll still be here when you return.

[BorderlineMess]

Thanks, Mara....will do your suggestions. Watching a distracting TV show now...thanks. You're the best.

[greyclouds]

Originally Posted by BorderlineMess

Perhaps it's the stress of working full time and going to school full time. Perhaps I've realized (for the millionth time) that I have an unsupportive, uncaring family. Perhaps I've realized no one but my dog cares whether I live or die. Perhaps the blade is calling too much. Perhaps I don't have enough scars (I have too many scars...) to tell my story. Perhaps...this forum is just bs....Perhaps I have too many high hopes for living...

I need some advice, some support, some guidance, anything. Some love, some hugs, some something. Am I alone? Is this all I feel? Why do we feel the emotional rollercoaster of bpd?! Help....

((Hugs)) your not alone