[greyclouds]

If I'm taking in then I can learn to cope quicker.
My. Kids hate me. My eldest is showing traits ready.
He won't hug me. Or show love, only anger.
If I go away maybe they will be brought up better.
Even with them nothing is good enough.

Maybe my support net work would take me serious.
Instead of still validating what I say and feel.

grey this is the BPD talking, when I feel crappy I say thing like this all the time like "my kids hate me" I have pretty much convinced myself that my kids are going to have BPD.
At this moment I am sure that I am cursed, Please hold on we do understand

[Ultra Darkness]

I know that I'm cursed.
Yes, I believe in curses. Wholeheartedly.

Yup, I agree with Buttercup... I know the feeling like you're not good enough for them but hang in there because as much as I see you care for your kids, I know you're better for them than anyone can be. Kids will be angry, they will be hurtful and spite you at times. It sucks. I'm lucky so far with my boys but I have been through all that with the previous two that are grown up. Especially the step son. Still I know that I was better than an alternative even if he and my other (daughter) never do acknowledge it.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I am glad someone said it's the bpd talking. I tell myself so often that I am toxic and that ppl ought to hate me. Or that no one can deal with me.

I am glad to know, again, that it's the bpd!

And it destroys me by keeping me isolated and alone.

Carol