[mraas72]

Today is the first day in about 6 months I haven't had anyone around me at home and I thought I would really like it. Wow was I wrong, I feel alone. I don't know what to do with myself. So, I decided to write about it on here. I feel really lonely wondering what my daughter is doing with her friend and my BF is doing at work. I only got one text msg this morning and it was because I sent him a text. Anyway, that is how my day is going.

yeah, i love my alone time but i can only handle about an hour or two, and then i start missing people. but i can't bring myself to call anyone or text, haha. most of the time they don't answer anyway.

it helps a lot when i get out of the house, though, even if it's just to cruise around Walmart and look at things. then i get bored and want to go home, haha. but maybe if you can get out of the house it'll help? go for a walk or something.

Originally Posted by mraas72

Today is the first day in about 6 months I haven't had anyone around me at home and I thought I would really like it. Wow was I wrong, I feel alone. I don't know what to do with myself. So, I decided to write about it on here. I feel really lonely wondering what my daughter is doing with her friend and my BF is doing at work. I only got one text msg this morning and it was because I sent him a text. Anyway, that is how my day is going.

I understand this. I felt so excited to come home from work tonight and snuggle up with a cup of hot cocoa and just be lazy and watch TV. Instead, I'm sitting here feeling lonely and sorry for myself and obsessively searching on here for someone to connect with. BPD will sneak up on you like that. That's how my day is going as well.

Originally Posted by mraas72

Today is the first day in about 6 months I haven't had anyone around me at home and I thought I would really like it. Wow was I wrong, I feel alone. I don't know what to do with myself. So, I decided to write about it on here. I feel really lonely wondering what my daughter is doing with her friend and my BF is doing at work. I only got one text msg this morning and it was because I sent him a text. Anyway, that is how my day is going.

I can relate totally. Most days I'm at my job all day but at night have my boys at home. On the rare ocassion that their mom comes and actually takes them for a visit, it doesn't take long for the silence and emptiness to set in. I mean it's not even that we're totally active and doing things all the time but they are there. Albeit on their computers playing games but yeah I even miss the noisiness of the boys when they are gone. I cant' even sleep at night sometimes in an empty place. :/

*hugs* I totally feel for you. Just remember it will pass.
~S4

Originally Posted by misskeena

I understand this. I felt so excited to come home from work tonight and snuggle up with a cup of hot cocoa and just be lazy and watch TV. Instead, I'm sitting here feeling lonely and sorry for myself and obsessively searching on here for someone to connect with. BPD will sneak up on you like that. That's how my day is going as well.

Awe *hugs* yeah I can do that too.. "obsessively search for people to connect with" I mean, when it's just me. Heck I do that anyway but when I really am alone even more so.

Usually, during the day, I can stay active enough that I'm okay for the most part regardless of who's around. It's the nights, usually the time I'm trying to fall asleep, that the loneliness hits like a brick wall. I often try to connect with people at that time knowing full well that it's generally an exercise in futility, but I do it all the same, which then makes me stay up an extra hour or two seeing if anyone replies. It's one of the hardest things I deal with on a regular basis. We just need to remember that the feeling does end. It always does.

[mraas72]

Yes it comes and goes for sure. Today I had a filling day already my son and his girlfriend had their baby and she is so cute. Now I am home again and I have a few things that will fill my spare time but I know in a short while I will be board and lonely. I thank all of your responses for sure. I know it will pass; it's just that the time that I go through it, it feels weird. I need an animal maybe who knows. I need to stop doing things that keep me busy for the moment and then I am in regret. Hugs to all of you for responding to my loneliness.

Originally Posted by mraas72

I need an animal maybe who knows.

I love having pets. I have two clingy little cats and I love them. I can only have cats in my apartment complex or I'd probably have a dog (except that I don't think I have time to care for a dog right now). I think that, if I didn't have pets, I'd be worse off. Animals definitely know when something's up. When I'm depressed, mine follow me all over the house and snuggle up by me. They pretty much don't let me out of their sight during those times. Might sound silly, but it's true. They were extremely clingy when I came home from being inpatient this past December. Anyway, the point is I agree...animals are good for us.

[sweetfriend]

I think we assume we know what people are thinking. I'm the type that when I send a message I have ZERO expectation of a reply. Expectations lead to unhappiness for me.