[purple1992]

Well outta no where I will feel very happy and excited to do things like have lots of plans and ideas and than outta no where I will get bored of it or I just wont go and do it.
I talk very quickly sometimes, also get annoyed of things or people very easly, I also am very tired alot of the time, I mean i did see a sycologyst but he only said i have part of border line personality disorder and my family thinks I have something else. right now i am on citolapram , quetiapine fumarate I am taking a half a pill of that quetiapine fumarate it just doesnt seem to be helping me I will feel dark and sad or mad outta no where and not care about anyones feelings until I see that I have hurt them than I will start crying and saying I am sorry and say that I dont get why I did that or outta no where someone will be just talking to me and I will start crying, or if someone gets me really upset outta the littelest thing I will pick up something and throw it and yell or I will end up punching the wall and messing up my hand, but right now its just starting to get worse my niece was sleeping in my bed a fell asleep with the popsickle and it melted all over my sheets and blanket and pillows so I freaked out I couldnt control it I wripped the blanket and sheets off and threw them off than I started yelling and my mom came in and yelled at me saying my niece had school the next day I was like I really dont f***ing care and than I dont know I juse couldnt control myself my stepdad came downstairs and was like whats going on and all I remember is me saying heyyyy wanna watch me cut myself and I had scissors in my hands and than he took my dog and shook his head and I dont know i musta just snapped outta it cause i threw the scissors and than my auntie came in my room and held me while i was crying and couldnt breath barely thats how much i was crying but after that I felt soo bad I went and said sorry to everyone in the house. So yes I do get suicidle toughts lately but I havnt done it I just feel like that sometimes you know like noone would care if I was gone. I also seem to forget things alot lately like my boyfriend does not like it at all or me or my sister or mom will get at it cause they will say I just f***ing told you and than sometimes I will be like uhmm no you didnt and than we will keep fighting or most of the time im crying. Also I can not keep a job or get a job since I graduated school cause if I do get a job I will either be too slow and than my boss will tell me or the co workers will tell me and I will start crying or I will start freaking out.

[ECHOES]

Do you have a therapist to talk to about these things? It sounds like your worries, fears, and anger could use some help

[purple1992]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

Do you have a therapist to talk to about these things? It sounds like your worries, fears, and anger could use some help

you mean a councillor if so than yes and Ive
talked to her its not really helping
like right now i feel good than outta no where
i will feel soo upset..

[greentires4me]

I am sure it will all work out and the rough edges will not be so rough any more there is always crisis lines out there for you to call if you need emotional support at the time I use this one quite frequently.

I know the roller coaster of emotions from hell they go up and they go down then its like they slow and stop. Just whatever you do keep trying to get your words across as there maybe someone out there that will be able to help you more if you keep at it.

try some meditation something to slow down and let you think for awhile.

[ECHOES]

you mean a councillor if so than yes and Ive
talked to her its not really helping

Keep talking to your councilor. It is a process and it gets better with help and understanding. but it does take time. Hang in there!

like right now i feel good than outta no where

I know, it feels this way - as if moods change for no reason, that it comes out of nowhere. But something happens in our internal world that begins this process. We are rarely aware of it because it happens so fast, is automatic. But with help we can begin to identify what happens, what we are actually reacting to within us.

[Ultra Darkness]

Medication rarely helps bpd. Other than that, I think everyone else covered the rest.