I've been angry all day today. I mean, like, something set me off this morning at 10am and I'm still angry, right now, at almost 10:30pm. I'll be the first to admit that I've got a short fuse but I don't usually stay this angry this long. Not consecutively. And I feel like I need to break something; none of my usual coping mechanisms (holding ice, deep breathing...taking a freaking Klonopin) are working.

What set me off is too long to explain and really, it's all just a bunch of stupid s--- that I shouldn't even be angry about but I just feel like it's the same bs from the same people at my old job. And it's funny how, the last few years, every time I feel badly about myself, they seem to be connected somehow. I'm so glad to have a new job where my coworkers value me, where they include me, respect me, and don't treat me like I'm a piece of dog crap on the bottom of their shoe. I still work at that other place once in a great while (because I like the extra paycheck) and, I'm not kidding, every time I go there someone makes some dumba-- comment to me. Like, really? Is this really how people treat each other? SO glad I got out of there. But my good guy friend still works there and when I get angry about that place it's too easy to target him (even though he's not usually involved) because, by virtue of being employed there (and being part of the clique that usually hurts me and pisses me off) he's sort of connected to what I'm angry at. So. Of course I made my anger his problem. As per the usual. And I'm just wondering how much more of my crap he's going to take because today he ignored everything from me. Usually he'll answer something from me but it's like he'd just had enough and didn't respond to anything. And you know what? I didn't deserve to be responded to.

I emailed him tonight and said that he should ignore certain specific things that I said because I was very angry, ridiculous, and feeling very borderline today. I said I felt like I needed to break something and felt like I'd had no outlet for my anger all day and had been stuffing it (which is very bad for me). I told him that it wasn't him but said exactly what I said above--that it was too easy for me to target him because he was always sort of connected. I apologized for being obnoxious and told him to ignore me for a while...unless I texted him about something innocuous like cake because, who knows? I may have cake.

Jeez, how ridiculous can I possibly be. I'm more angry at myself at this point than at the original stuff. So angry at myself. I always do this...and I know I can't lose his friendship but I always do this.

[IowaFarmGal]

Hugs (((misskeena)))! Is it worth the aggravation to see him once in a while? I hope you get a break and tomorrow is a better day.

Look at the current threads. It seems most of us are angry. Maybe it's National Piss Off a Borderline Week and we weren't informed. Seriously though, hang in there. At least you've got a safe place to vent with people who understand, and that can go a long way. Take care.

Originally Posted by IowaFarmGal

Hugs (((misskeena)))! Is it worth the aggravation to see him once in a while? I hope you get a break and tomorrow is a better day.

Yeah, because it's not him. If I pushed people out of my life just because they were somehow attached to someone or something that made me upset or triggered me then I'd never, ever have a friend, ever. Heck, my best friend is attached to something which triggers me. That's why we have to use our DBT skills. Either that, or be lonely and alone all our lives.

[AngelWolf3]

Originally Posted by misskeena

Yeah, because it's not him. If I pushed people out of my life just because they were somehow attached to someone or something that made me upset or triggered me then I'd never, ever have a friend, ever. Heck, my best friend is attached to something which triggers me. That's why we have to use our DBT skills. Either that, or be lonely and alone all our lives.

I am the perfect example of that! I have no one here in RL...But, such is what I have chosen. Good observation, in my opinion.

anyway, if that is ok.

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by Maranara

Look at the current threads. It seems most of us are angry. Maybe it's National Piss Off a Borderline Week and we weren't informed.

Well, if it is, I've been nailed. Of course the time of month doesn't help...