I know that many of you are creatives like me. In one form or another so many of the BPD people on this forum reflect artistic skills in their posts.

I have an idea that came to me last night and I didn't post it right away for various reasons, not the least being that I figured it would be stupid. But there it is, still lingering in my brain and I figured if it's not going to let me go I'll just friggin share to to get that "voice" to shut up.

So my idea is this:

If you're a writer of poetry, an artist or musician it doesn't matter. I wonder, how would each of you express your BPD in your particular creative manner? If you're interested post that here - a drawing, lyrics to a song, poetry or even short essay. I just think maybe this could be a form of therapy for people if they let it.

Try it. I'll post something as soon as I have it.

[Ultra Darkness]

This is a good idea. I'll probably post something when I have it. Of course, I already have a few poems on the Creative Corner... and I drew my signature picture down there...
I guess that counts!

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

This is a good idea. I'll probably post something when I have it. Of course, I already have a few poems on the Creative Corner... and I drew my signature picture down there...
I guess that counts!

glad you're interested. Can't wait to see what you come up with.

On another note - Join my creative social group! I need members!
http://forums.psychcentral.com/group.php?groupid=297

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

glad you're interested. Can't wait to see what you come up with.

On another note - Join my creative social group! I need members!
http://forums.psychcentral.com/group.php?groupid=297

Ah, heck, why not?

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

Ah, heck, why not?

Yay! and thanks

I've written quite a few poems...not so much for blanket BPD but for whatever I was going through at the time. I'll look through them in a bit and find one to post. I also have an idea for a young adult book about to bring awareness to BPD but I haven't started it yet...we'll see whether my ambition will stick around long enough to actually do it!

[BeautifullyDeprived]

Ah, Sandman you know me...I get all poetsy when I'm sad, I'll come around soon!

Originally Posted by BeautifullyDeprived

Ah, Sandman you know me...I get all poetsy when I'm sad, I'll come around soon!

Yay! Can't wait to see... although I'm not hoping for your sadness, dont' get me wrong..

Originally Posted by Maranara

I've written quite a few poems...not so much for blanket BPD but for whatever I was going through at the time. I'll look through them in a bit and find one to post. I also have an idea for a young adult book about to bring awareness to BPD but I haven't started it yet...we'll see whether my ambition will stick around long enough to actually do it!

Awesome. that will be good. I hope you do follow through with the book. Sounds like a good idea.

[BeautifullyDeprived]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Yay! Can't wait to see... although I'm not hoping for your sadness, dont' get me wrong..

Lol sorry, I'll try my best!

Ok I'll start with something I wrote awhile ago but it is a clear depiction of how BPD affects me and my life. Now I don't write like this often so if it's crappy and horrible forgive me

I don't remember what I was feeling or what brought this on but obviously I was in "self-loathing" mode
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Destruction

Hurting people. That’s what he was good at. If there was a way to make money off the people he’d hurt in his life, whose lives’ he’d messed up beyond recognition.. he’d be a rich man. Yes, he was truly the expert not in relationship matters but in relationship destruction, squashing of peoples spirits and destroying their character. Funny thing was, it was the opposite of what he strived to be.

In his heart he loved. Loved people, and trying to give to them encouragement and support. It always worked just long enough to get them to start liking him and always, everytime, something changed and he would go through his cycle again. Wanting to get away but at the same time being afraid to do so. So many times, he would push and pull people and then in the end they would tire of the exhaustion they would have to endure just to be with him.

Everytime, he ended up alone. If he wasn’t successful at pushing them away, they left him on their own. Didn’t matter which, the end was always the same, loneliness and self loathing for the things he did to people, for his ability to ruin every relationship he’d ever had

~from S4's blog Quiet Forest

One more that was written as a result of real life. This was one of my worst BPD episodes...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Waking the Slumbering Monster

It laid there in his mind, just waiting to be awakened. He’d always kept it at bay except for a few times over the years where it awoke briefly, came out of its cave and managed to destroy everything in it’s path. This was a behemoth of a creature that was always in him something that no one would ever want to see released. For the longest time it was not as much of a struggle to keep subdued and in hibernation but something snapped this time.

The monster itself was a combination of not just rage, but pure hatred and every dark thought and feeling that could possibly be conjured up by a single soul. In fact, the level of rage and hatred within him at this point was off the scale. It could not be contained or subdued at this point, let alone send it back into hibernation. The only thing that he could wish for was that with his heightened level of stress and emotion, it’s power would be spent faster and although the destruction might be more devastating perhaps he could contain it within a small area of his life.

What triggered the ferocious beast within him? What yanked it out of it’s peaceful sleep? How could he truly feel such hatred? After all, it was unlike him. He was not one to easily feel such hatred toward another being so permanently. Of course it happened before but that was years ago. He thought that growing up and maturity would have tamed this beast, this monstrosity. Of course he was not beyond feeling hatred, no but his was a passing feeling of animosity toward someone and it was because of his heightened emotionality that would make him feel this on and off repeatedly. But this was different. He was hurt deep and so moved that he decided he was completely finished with this one. It only happened a few times in his life when he would completely cut off ties but when he did, it truly was all but impossible to mend the bridge that may have been there before. Yes this was one of those times.

The only problem now was how much destruction might result from the waking of his giant.

Nice, short, sweet, depressing. No title. Written July 20th of last year. Found PC on the 29th.

A mad woman I've become
Unpredictable to the end
Will do anything to save myself
Even though the only true villain is my own mind.
Reached out for help
Only to be rebuked, rebutted
Ignored, abandoned
Thrown to the wind
Destroyed by words.
Arrest me
Put me in chains
Lock me away
For selfishly trying to save my own sanity
Too late.....
I am forsaken

[Ultra Darkness]

Wow... That's sad...

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

Wow... That's sad...

I write poetry and such when I feel like I hit rock bottom and this was written approximately three weeks after a friendship, the first friendship I'd endeavored to have in many years, went completely south and I was having major abandonment issues and I felt like I wouldn't recover. I wrote a poem, all just as bad, everyday for probably two months because it was my only outlet. Most are too personal to share but I'm sure to share more.

And S4.....I could easily relate to yours as well. I could have easily have written them myself.

[Girl_interrupted89]

Should I post my drawings? O.O I like to draw and be artistic but I'm bad at it

Originally Posted by Girl_interrupted89

Should I post my drawings? O.O I like to draw and be artistic but I'm bad at it

yes! please do!

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by Girl_interrupted89

Should I post my drawings? O.O I like to draw and be artistic but I'm bad at it

Who knows? It could be that you aren't actually bad at it, and it's just low self-esteem getting in the way. I never thought I was much of a poet, but my poems get some good reviews.

[asp1079]

Many of the turbulent emotions I feel from BPD traits come out in emotionally expressive and intense poetry. It's gotten very good over the years of practice and I'm actually doing it as a college major now.

This, I believe, is my most recent one, dated January 15th.

Grasping at straws
Straws filled with holes, dilapidated with age
Melted by flame
But straws nonetheless.
It's all I have
I cannot vanquish my thirst
Or quench my desire
To talk, to be understood, to be thought of as a person once more
A person overrun by emotions
Who lives forever in the past.
But I'll take the straws gladly
For what little comfort they provide
What little hope they can muster
And even less warmth they bestow
For it is truly all I have.

[Ultra Darkness]

This is kind of an essay-poem thing. I don't know where it came from, I just woke up and had it.

I live my life in an empty void, hollow and numb. But without warning, the void is filled with dragonsfire, and anger rules: I don't want you here, I want nothing to do with you! Go away and leave me alone!
But in the blink of an eye, the beat of a heart, dragonsfire turns to icy fear: Where are you going, what did I say? Don't you know I didn't mean it?
And fear becomes bitter disappointment: You don't know me at all! If you did, you would know that go away means don't leave me!
But in the end you're gone, and as I drown in misery I realize:

You always felt your mind was my toy
In a game of tug-of-war
It was always push and pull
You couldn't take it any more

I always knew that you would leave
As though it was prophecy
But the prophecy was self-fulfilled
And in the end you left me

Originally Posted by Ultra Darkness

This is kind of an essay-poem thing. I don't know where it came from, I just woke up and had it.

I live my life in an empty void, hollow and numb. But without warning, the void is filled with dragonsfire, and anger rules: I don't want you here, I want nothing to do with you! Go away and leave me alone!
But in the blink of an eye, the beat of a heart, dragonsfire turns to icy fear: Where are you going, what did I say? Don't you know I didn't mean it?
And fear becomes bitter disappointment: You don't know me at all! If you did, you would know that go away means don't leave me!
But in the end you're gone, and as I drown in misery I realize:

You always felt your mind was my toy
In a game of tug-of-war
It was always push and pull
You couldn't take it any more

I always knew that you would leave
As though it was prophecy
But the prophecy was self-fulfilled
And in the end you left me

I like it. I like poetry that has rhythm. don't so much like the kind that doesn't have a "flow" to it. That's just me.

[Ultra Darkness]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I like it. I like poetry that has rhythm. don't so much like the kind that doesn't have a "flow" to it. That's just me.

To me, rhythm and rhyme are what make poetry stand out from normal speaking. It's fun to write that way.

[BeautifullyDeprived]

Here's something uplifting , I think..

You will not be alone forever.
You will not be sad forever.
Because the time will fly.
It will bring out the light in your eyes.
And show the monster within that the time is over.
The time is over for those dark days.
The time is over for these turbulent memories
Full of sorrow and anguish, no more.
That will be gone
But you must believe it.
Don't worry ______ , she said to me..
You won't be sad forever and you will make it through.
You'll show everybody how you got through one way or another.
My head nodded.
My mind said:
For now, this is where I'm stuck...so free me.

Dug this thread back up....hope that's okay. Here's one I wrote when I was majorly disassociated July 3 of last year. Most of mine are written when I'm really messed up. Sorry about that. I need to title them eventually....

Isolated am I from the world.
Looking through a lense from afar
No feelings, no emotions, no real sensations
Head in the clouds.
My eyes looking at the world and myself from the stratosphere.
Unaware of much of my surroundings
Nothing sinks in.
Will not remember much of today when tomorrow dawns.
Fought this feeling.
Cried when I first felt the distance arise from the depths
But it is a saving grace, a lifesaver.
If I can't feel, I can't cry
Can't scream in frustration.
Or fall in to the depths of despair
Most importantly, I won't suicide
I won't lose total hope
I won't lose myself.