I feel like I can never get out of this. I'm in a prison without bars. I want/don't want....I need/don't need.....angry at me/angry at you.....should do/won't do....I hate/I am apathetic.....

This prison has been closing in on me for decades and has ruined my life.

Also I am smart/hopelessly stupid.

Most employers just thought I was hopelessly stupid so who am I to say.

I can't do anything right/but who cares anyway?

I'm ok/and on death's door.

I need therapy/also need to sue most of my former therapists.

I have a chance to opt into a nice living situation tonight/I'm too disabled to even call back.

This is the meaning of borderline personality disorder.

HELL itself.

It does sound like you're feeling pretty distressed, but from your post, I can't make out why. Why do you feel that you need to sue your former therapists?

[Ultra Darkness]

People wonder about heaven and hell? Well, hell exists, and you don't have to die to get there.
I'm pretty smart too, but I screw up so much that at least half my family think I'm hopeless. I can sympathize.

[mednurse80]

I can sympathize also...I know exactlty where you are coming from. I hope things start looking up for you.