[paradiso2340]

Hey All,

So I keep coming back to the possibility of having BPD although I'm not entirely sure why. I guess because I am going through this period of fairly intense self-loathing/ depression and confusion about life. Although I don't suffer from other characteristic elements of the diagnosis such as emotional instability/rage/self-harm, etc. the only other criteria would be possibly abandonment issues although even if I do have this it isn't that severe as I read on this site. Lately, I just feel like there is something wrong with myself (Identity issues). I just feel like a phony who can't show emotion easily unless something really bothers me. This never bothered me before but now I am constantly scrutinizing myself and my past. I just feel like this phony, bad, cynical person that can't escape myself. Again, I meet maybe 2 or 3 at most of the borderline criteria and you need to meet five. I don't know if what I described is just me trying to figure out why I am feeling this way and so I am inserting myself under the label of possible borderline. On the other hand, some of what I read resonates with me and I feel there is something more going in than a depression. I am seeing a psychologist, but I would really like some thoughts or ideas from people that have BPD as you have experience with it. Thanks!

Originally Posted by paradiso2340

Hey All,

So I keep coming back to the possibility of having BPD although I'm not entirely sure why. I guess because I am going through this period of fairly intense self-loathing/ depression and confusion about life. Although I don't suffer from other characteristic elements of the diagnosis such as emotional instability/rage/self-harm, etc. the only other criteria would be possibly abandonment issues although even if I do have this it isn't that severe as I read on this site. Lately, I just feel like there is something wrong with myself (Identity issues). I just feel like a phony who can't show emotion easily unless something really bothers me. This never bothered me before but now I am constantly scrutinizing myself and my past. I just feel like this phony, bad, cynical person that can't escape myself. Again, I meet maybe 2 or 3 at most of the borderline criteria and you need to meet five. I don't know if what I described is just me trying to figure out why I am feeling this way and so I am inserting myself under the label of possible borderline. On the other hand, some of what I read resonates with me and I feel there is something more going in than a depression. I am seeing a psychologist, but I would really like some thoughts or ideas from people that have BPD as you have experience with it. Thanks!

The only advice I really have is to keep reading posts on this forum and see if you can relate with them, and if you feel comfortable with it, bring it up to your psychologist if you haven't already. I know firsthand that depression can drain all the life out of you and make you feel like you're nothing; whether you have BPD or not, I don't know. I meet 7 or 8 of the criteria and I've self-diagnosed myself, though sometimes I wonder if I'm just trying to insert myself under a label to cling to some sort of identity. I wish I had better advice, but I don't. :\ Just wanted to let you know I read your post and that you're welcome here.

I have similar issues with my emotions. They're usually very blunt and I feel like a phony. You should talk to your therapist about doing a personality disorder test, but they can be time-consuming. Also, you should know that it's not so important which or if you fit into any PD diagnosis, you need to look at your traits and overall problems. You could have significant borderline traits but not BPD. I wish you luck and hope you figure it out!