[beauflow]

I really feel misunderstood most of the time, thus it pours into that I am truly alone for some reason. Here recently it has gotten to that point... then i feel like no one ****ing cares. sorry about that- a part of me knows some where ppl care but another part is like- hell no they dont.

I feel as if no one really grasps what I am saying- or they do not understand at all where I am coming from... Or that I say something an this happens so much- Some one will say basically the same thing just with different words- but same context- and everyone agrees with them and is like "Beauflow- you just did not make your point"... I am like really how?

Also Get told- Being too sensitive or- I don't see how you see it THAT Way- or - You';re just tired, get some rest, or you just have been sleeping too much get and do things.... or live life (yeah that is still bothering me a bit- other post in another section).

I feel alone a lot- I feel no matter how i can angle with saying things and try to explain things (I can freakin break it down people and be extra detailed if needed or i Can sum it up in 1 sentence) it is not understood by a lot.....

It's ok- misunderstanding has gotten me my whole life- so it is ok- then I am shocked when someone does understand (Usually my boyfriend does that but at the same time he can be utterly clueless on what I am trying to get my point across)

Also- I am just misunderstood over the board- it is too long in detail to get into.

Just really ****ing hate it some days- makes me feel that others don't care- due to they are not taking the time to understand and listen... I listen to others, try best to reach understanding but I don't get it in return- and when i don't understand I try my damnedest to talk and get it.

I am sure this could be posted in other places here on psych central- just choice here today- sorry if it does not fit anyone.

[Flooded]

I ****ing HEAR you. ALL of it.

And although I don't "know" you, I care

[madisgram]

beauflow, we're here for you. many of us can relate to your feeling u're not understood. glad u posted. we do understand. often we feel we're not validated by others. so believe in yourself and that is a start.

[ECHOES]

Fits me too, and even more when I was younger. I SO wish I had been in good therapy when I was younger.

[Cnytroxy1973]

Yep, I get it.....

[Bitsandpieces]

Yeah, I think I know what you're saying. It's like... no one usually understands what I'm trying to say straight away, I feel like everyone is speaking in concepts that are too superficial, when there are so many reasons, so many layers, and everything is so complex, I can't stop at simplifications. And sometimes people will just think I'm rambling, failing to express a really simple concept when it's NOT, it's not and it has so many ramifications and reasons and why don't they just LISTEN? xD

I don't know if your problem is the same, but I know that not being understood is horrible. Just stay strong and realize that it's their own loss if they're not following, because you seem the type that has plenty bright things to say.

[learningtolive]

I completely understand where you are coming from...as a matter of fact when I feel misunderstood it makes me feel alone too...just know that you are not alone because there are people here who understand. But I know it is still painful to feel that those around you or those that care about you cannot understand...especially if you feel you are willing or able to understand them.
I hope you feel better soon. heres a hug for you....

[beauflow]

Thank you all. It's helpful to get out of the hole of sadness a bit to know not alone. Even if just words to express it on a website. I'll try to be better this week- like the last two it's been leadin to no one cares. Been causing problems at work, crying a bit more alone, sadly being a hypocript with "not understanding". I'm good with not picking fights with my boyfriend but i've been seeing signs with things usually bad and my fault in ways. Also i haven't been taking care of my hygien, like only showing a day a week the last two weeks-i know gross but don't know where that fits in but it's odd two weeks ago when i had showered i felt i looked worse after taking care of me. But this saturday yesterday i felt refreshed think That's a good sign. Sadly see my t monday and i'm like i got nothing to talk about but do very much. :-| but thank you all again i would hope void and loneliness would "go away a little" after time goes on- but idk some days it feels worse as i get older and idk why cuz my logic mine knows better. :-| guess i need to find why i feel alone right thou at times there isn't an answer to that. But thank you all again sorry for rambling thoughts.

[emptybee15]

I'm with Flooded. I totally understand!

[beauflow]

I wish alone feeling would go away. Hate it when i remember & agree with what my dad use to say "we're born alone and we did alone" i take this as we live alone too i feel it so much. No matter how many ppl or things or animals i surround myself with i am alone. Empty. Some times dead inside. I'm tired of it to be honest. I'm sick of saying the next week will be a new week and it seems like it doesn't happen- either same old stuff or worse or slightly better. I don't get it. There are times i feel stuck and i don't like it. I'm sorry for complaining.

[gashly]

Oh I hate that phrase too! Who wants to feel alone? I don't mind being alone by myself when I'm content, but when I feel the big empty hole inside me, it feels like a gnawing black hole of pain, and that makes me feel awful. I've had a lot of that lately. A lot of feeling stuck, confused. I just want to run away from the pain. I don't know how to stop it. But I do know that it's not always there, so I'm trying to figure out what the deal is. Sometimes it's hard to determine what I'm really feeling and why, I think because maybe I don't always feel what I want/feel is right, so that causes a disconnect.

There are also plenty of times I feel not "heard", or that people misunderstand me, but I can't get what I mean across. It seems like people who know me well can understand me if they concentrate on what I'm saying, but not everyone has the energy to do that, so I wonder how I can express myself better, when I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Either that or they think I'm overreacting, which is even worse.

Sometimes I get frustrated and miss my sister, she lives far away and she "gets" me. I think she just is very familiar with my "language" because we grew up together, and I'd even have her "translate" what I was trying to say to other people sometimes! So I often wish she was there to "speak" for me so people can understand me. But she's very busy and on the other side of the country, so I hardly have time to talk to her even.

[beauflow]

Oh Gashly- I am sorry to hear about your frustration and missing your sister- that has to be hard, To have someone that "get's you" but yet they are far away and few visits. Hopefully you get to talk to her on a regular basis though or at least more time than when she comes to visit.
I remember a time where I was a lone, no one understood, and the people that I had in the past that understood I had pushed away so far away they were not around at all... I am lucky that I met someone in that time of my life to talk to- that was just a work friend at the time.

I agree this alone feeling is not "all the time" but it can be more so than others at times.

I am not sure where to get to the bottom of it- I too would like that riddle solved with in myself and how to make it dissipate through time, but it just seems as I get older, some things are getting worse> which scares me in some ways, make me lose hope on other ends, thought I still try due to "it could always be worse right?"

I remember one time long ago- one of my brothers and I were talking about voids with in ourselves, due to our upbringing and we have holes/voids with in our selves... I always will have to wonder if with self if ever truly getting over such things and if it is what helps leads to this emptiness, alone, feel turned on at times (ppl not caring), not feeling being heard or understood, along with probably more than I can realize right at this moment.

I too, like to be alone when I am content (Doing a project, art, or just happy to be here) but as my boyfriend has pointed out several times: "oh no you were alone with yourself too long, don't leave you by yourself".. It is usually in a joking jester from him, with him- he "gets me" a lot, to which a lot of times I can crack a joke about me as well, then we talk.. If no joking from me, we still talk. I realize I am blessed to have such a person though I can turn and think I am not blessed but that is a different subject.
When alone with me- or even alone but some where-and being in a bad mood (or some times just out of no where), I can confuse myself with thoughts, counter thinking (to try to think good but yet thinking bad) and so on.... I don't like that- Deep down, though at times I can be on the contrary and claim different, I don't think myself to be a down right dumb person; and it is frustrating.
Come to think I have done that with my boyfriend sitting right next to me after I had been alone for a bit too, like I feel awful to say- but at times I have thought he is helping with the illusions when on them for a while and we talk.

I get frustrated with things that are natural: ie like emotions, why must there be such a hard time with such a thing so natural?

I hope all well, and that there is some sort of an "answer" for this, maybe not an answer, but a coping way to make it better, even if at times I fear inside there is not, I will still hope so, for everyone on this green and blue earth that feels this way.

I know I put thank you on all of your things- It is not so much thank you- but that you understand, I am sorry- I wish there was a hug button to be like I am sorry we all feel this way at times, it is an awful feeling, I wish it upon no one.

[beauflow]

I finally got to hug everyone that replied to this a while back... hug button put in place after.
And thank you everyone

I still struggle with this.... I have no answer still.. but still trying as best as can as time goes on...

's

((((Beau))))

Beauflow.....I don't really know you nor do I know why you felt the need to bring this thread back up after such a long time, but I will tell you this. This is something that you're DEFINITELY not alone with. Most of us with BPDs struggle with this everyday. We have few if any real life friends and are always struggling to be understood and accepted, and a lot of those lines you wrote and a bunch more: keep your chin up, it can't be that bad, stop complaining and a bunch more were recently compiled in a thread about the "self-proclaimed fixers" who think they know us better than we know ourselves and don't mind telling us so.

I'm sure from reading our threads you've seen our problems in this matter are the same: feeling alone, no one gets it, tired of even trying; but we do "get it". Our problems are yours, and you're not alone. I know there's only so much comfort you can gain from a public forum, but let it be a start. Some of us go as far as posting on this forum alone because we have felt misunderstood on other forums.

Beauflow, for whatever it's worth, you're not alone and we DO understand.

I understand this completely, especially the part where I'll say something that no one listens to, and then someone else will say the exact same thing a little differently a few minutes later and everyone will respond to what that person said. Doesn't matter if it's a joke or if I'm answering a question, or making an observation, or what. It's happened many times. I've actually had a few people that I don't care for do it on purpose--make the same comment as me--just because they knew people would respond to them and they knew it would get to me. But anyway, I think being misunderstood is common for those of us with BPD.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((beauflow)))))))