[wadingthruemotions]

So, here goes...I am not sure how to categorize my feelings and thoughts on my present state of being. I am sort of in a dark place right now. I go from one extreme to the other at times (a lot of times). I am elated, then I can turn to being so irritated or downright angry at the drop of a hat. And all in the same day, hour, doesn't matter. So i guess that is part of the BPD.

Beyond that, it is these temperaments when I make choices I know are out there beyond what I would be doing if I were not in these times of distress. Just want to know if anyone else has gone through this and would like to have an honest discussion about this, in private is fine. Here is also good.

Thanks

[poptart316]

I've definitely been there! I've also made impulsive decisions when experiencing identity issues and/or extreme emotional turbulence. I've dropped classes, quit jobs, dropped out of school, have had sex with people, have said awful things/been verbally abusive to people, thrown things... everything always seems to get 100,000 times worse with pms, I definitely think hormones can intensify BPD symptoms.

[wadingthruemotions]

I can totally see hormone issues not helping this condition. I am now menopausal cause of the cancer I had last year and surgeries so geez. I can see probably what led to this most recent and darker spot i am in now.

[greentires4me]

I call the darkness my depression and loneliness but its as much as a part of myself then most things are its real I can touch it and I can feel it it just really exists. I can get irrational and angry at the drop of hat they usually are like holding hands in this arena. but I know with my red friend everything just triggers all at once I go through roller coaster more times in the moment then I let on.

Originally Posted by poptart316

I've definitely been there! I've also made impulsive decisions when experiencing identity issues and/or extreme emotional turbulence. I've dropped classes, quit jobs, dropped out of school, have had sex with people, have said awful things/been verbally abusive to people, thrown things... everything always seems to get 100,000 times worse with pms, I definitely think hormones can intensify BPD symptoms.

I've felt this way and have done these things as well. I've racked up quite the tuition debt because I've enrolled in classes and dropped them, changed majors, enrolled in those classes only to drop those classes in the middle of the semester. I'm quite impulsive in my bad moments. The only way I'm not impulsive is if all I do is go to work and come home and watch TV/read which, I confess, I do a lot lately because I like being stable and drama-free, though I am quite lonely. I notice that my symptoms are also exacerbated by my hormones and was taking the Pill to kind of alleviate that but my current insurance does not cover it (I work for a Catholic hospital and they don't cover contraception of any kind...nice) so I guess we'll see how that goes.

[k123]

Yea I feel like that all the time....I can just snap soooo quickly. About anything at anytime from one extreme to another....bpd for sure