[Johnny Ola]

Hello, I'm looking for a better form of treatment for my sister who has been diagnosed with borderline. I'll provide some background info.

She appeared fine up until her teens. She did badly in school and had occasional child-like tantrums, but never seemed ill. At 16 she moved with my mother, step-father and younger half-sister from the US to a small town in Italy. There she was placed in a local high school and had to learn Italian. She learned the language eventually but didn't graduate. At some point she became an alcoholic and bulimic. These two things became worse and she eventually started doing drugs as well.

She ran away back to the US and lived with pimps and junkies, became a coke-head. I was in college at the time, in Europe, and I visited her. It was at this point that I realized she had some kind of disorder. Eventually she hit rock-bottom and returned to Italy where she went into a rehab/therapeutic center. She was there for years until I arrived in order to deal with my own drug addiction. I felt she had been abandoned for the convenience of my family and I would see her looking like a zombie, depressed, lethargic. I didn't believe she was getting the treatment she needed.

My doubt affected my mother's judgment and she decided to bring her back home. I was happy about it but I now realize it was an emotional decision not supported by enough experience. Since being back she has used drugs, drank and been destroying herself with bulimia and bad eating habits. We've had to guard her 24-7 but she still manages to escape now and then to steal alcohol or get people to buy drinks for her.

At this point it's agreed that she needs to go back to the community, simply because we're unable to help her. I'm anxious, because not only does she threaten to kill herself if she's brought back there, but I don't know that the treatment was ever helping. She and all the patients seem to sit around all day, smoking cigarettes, waiting for their therapy. She was on many drugs to keep her under control.

She revealed a few years ago that she was sexually molested by my father's friend when she was maybe 3 years old and I believe this has prevented her from making the transition from child to adult. She also has an aversion to sex. She consumes substances and cuts herself to deal with the pain of the repressed trauma.

I love my sister very much and I'm hopeless because I feel like the proper environment and stimuli would help her, but I cannot provide them. My mother, step-father, and half-sister have their own problems and preoccupations and although they try, they're not always the best people to be around.

At this point we are waiting for her to hurt herself so that her rights get taken away and she is committed. I don't know another way but I don't want to wait for something bad to happen.

I'm hoping someone with experience can share some wisdom or tell me of a facility that could help her. I'm desperate at this point and my sister is losing the best years of her life to no fault of her own. I need to help her.

[adam_k]

I know you care about your sister, but being in constant prison watch is no way for either of you to live. For her to heal she has to want it. I wish I could tell you how to help, but some people would rather self destruct than deal with thier deep issues. Can you find a way to connect with her and make her want to heal?

[greentires4me]

I say be the best damn brother/sister you possibly be to her and find her a therapist who delves in treating trauma number one. Being her advocate for her when maybe her herself cannot speak out is another thing. Find her some support in the community like a counselor at addiction services usuaully they are free or offer free counseling service. Find a Pdoc that will listen to her and you about your concerns about her recovery, include you in discussions and decisions.