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#1
May 05, 2013, 11:57 AM
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Having a bad week it seems. I'm sorry for all the posts. I just feel so fed up. I hate feeling like this and it is feeding my self hatred. Why can't I just think like a normal person? Feel like a normal person? I can tell everyone that Em (my significant other) isn't going to leave me but I still feel like she will. I'm so full of contradictions. I just want this outrageous anxiety to end. This month sucks already with decisions I had to make 5 years ago. Why? I feel like a tide is pulling me under and all I see is blackness and I can only inhale water. Then two breaths later I'm on shore completely dry just to be pulled back into the depths. I don't have many people to talk to about this. No one IRL understands what this really does to me. Is it common to be afraid of anger to the point it incapacitates you, And you redirect it at yourself to feed your self hatred? I'm not sure what I expect from this thread. Maybe I should just stop talking now......
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin  |
 Anonymous100165, Arethusa, wadingthruemotions
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#2
May 05, 2013, 03:25 PM
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I get it. I truly do. I posted a turade post not but a few days ago speaking to some of this very same thing (maybe even farther angrier than you are here).
It sucks, it truly does. I wish I could make this better for you or have more positive things to say. I can relate. I can listen. I answer PMS, if you ever need to. 
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"Death is easy, peaceful: Life is harder" "The Day You Turned On Me Is The Day I Died, And I've Forgotten What It's Like, And How It Feels To Be Alive" (Daughtry-Gone) "And you always want what you're running from. It's always been that way." Bittersweet Lyrics by Ellie Goulding "The reason I hold on, cause I need this hole gone." (Stay by Rihanna) "The opposite of love's indifference." (Stubborn Love, The Lumineers) |
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#3
May 06, 2013, 05:27 PM
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Broke my promise to my partner and myself. Feel like crap. It helped it really did..... but now self hatred is starting to eat me alive. My chest hurts from anxiety attacks out the but. My mental health nurse didn't call me back. We've been missing phone calls for the past few days. I'm feeling so alone right now. Em can't even pull me out right now. I don't know what to do this week. I'm feeling hopeless. Im not suicidal. Or I don't feel suicidal. I just want what it seems I'll never have. Melatonin is licking in good so good night all. Cause I get to get up at 3 am to be at work at 4.
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
| wadingthruemotions
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#4
May 06, 2013, 05:35 PM
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Don't worry about posting a lot, I am too this week. I understand how it feels when your symptoms flare up--you just need to talk and get the feeling out. I don't know what to say, but I just wanted you to know that your post was acknowledged.
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 tigersassy
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#5
May 08, 2013, 12:36 PM
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| tigersassy
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#6
May 08, 2013, 07:31 PM
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My mental health nurse thinks I should give meds a go. Debating it right now. Been on a few different ones but don't think they helped much. Sorry this is just a ramble.
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PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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