[poptart316]

I live with my grandparents, they raised me (unfortunately) and I still F*cking live here. My grandad is the most miserable person I know.. he complains constantly. He's a perfectionist, he has these unreasonable standards when it comes to cleanliness or how things should look. He doesn't know how to deal with anything in a reasonable manner... all he knows how to do is scream and shout to get his point across and deals with things like a 3 year old. He's super critical and finds flaws in everything.. he just looks for things wrong so he can complain and criticize you but you can't criticize him, nope. I think he seriously thinks that certain thing need to be done, and in a certain way and you're wrong if you do any differently. He oozes of misery all the time.. always looks P*ssed off and is stomps around. He can be very aggressive, sometimes we'll get into it and he'll get in my face and point his finger at my face while screaming at me and he often calls me names, is always calling me a lazy ******. I'm so tired of living with him. My grandma's been away on vacation for a few days and being around him has been intolerable. I'm seeing this guy and I've been staying the night at his house a lot.. I came home today because I have a doctors appointment and I get in the door and my grandad gets up and starts making comments "what do you think this is a hotel? I'm kicking you out" (he likes to tell over and over again about how he's going to kick me out or tells me to get out.) I'm just so tired of him, I didn't do anything wrong.... this isn't the first time he's made a big deal about me staying out somewhere, like it seriously bothers him but I don't see why, I'm almost 25 years old and if I want to stay out then I'll stay out and it's none of his flipping business! Seriously, why should it be of any concern to him? Things can get really bad, a few weeks ago he flipped out on me because he was at the counter fixing the dogs bowl and I politely said "excuse me" because I needed a fork.. and he just totally flipped out and started yelling at me and calling me names, I said my fair share too and things just escalated. Then the other day I asked if I could play a game on his computer and he said I could and I played it but then he wanted to go on it so I waited till he went to bed and then went on his computer.. he woke up, came in and started screaming at me to get off and to play it on something else, going on about how I don't ask (but I did ask)... I tried reasoning with him but couldn't get a word in, he just kept screaming at me to get off. Stuff like this happens ALL the time and sometimes I can't always keep my mouth shut and things escalate into really nasty arguments. Sometimes I get so mad that I think about killing him; beating him with the fire poker or smothering him or stabbing him.. like at the moment I'll really-really want to, like it's an urge and I don't like that think these things. I want to move out so bad but I need a job first, obviously. Does anyone have to deal with someone like this? Like how do you do it? There's just absolutely no pleasing him... I'll be minding my own business and he'll still find fault in SOMETHING and will try to start **** with me.

[ECHOES]

I don't have advice, other than to respect his rules as much as possible. He sounds just like you said, miserable.

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry you are having to experience this, and I hope a job comes along so you can be free and on your own soon!

[enigma4567]

Hey

just relax and remain in peace with patience..follow his rules as you have no other way until and unless you would get a reasonable job..just stop bothering him and dont think about his harsh and nasty words..try to avoid the things which you cannot change and manupulate..

Bless you..Remain calm and relax..try to avoid communication with him

[mainewildflower]

Maybe try to spend the majority of time away from him, such as in your room maybe reading or writing... something quiet so not to disrupt him. Another thing, I have found when dealing with miserable people it really helps when they are complaining about xyz to say: that must be really hard/stressful/etc, is there anything I can do to help or make it a little easier for you? Perhaps try to reinstate common ground, do something nice for him maybe as a gesture for peace... explain how you have been feeling and how you hope to have a healthy relationship with him and peaceful living situation?

[poptart316]

Yeah I usually keep my distance but it seems that conflict is inevitable, he always finds something! I'm not sure how to communicate with him, or if I even want to.. I'd feel too vulnerable. I'm not going to follow ALL of his rules either, if I want to stay out all night then I will... this is something that my T and I don't agree on, but I cannot understand for the life of me why I should have to do that just to make him happy.. sure it would keep the peace but it really shouldn't be of any concern to him what I do, I am 25 years old. I know that what I think isn't going to change anything, it still irritates me.