dissociating

I'm struggling real bad with dissociating rite now. I missed my appointment with my psychiatrist today because I was dissociating so bad that, even tho I remembered the appointment, I somehow didn't connect that I actually had to go it! I've been doing this a lot lately, and part of it has been centered around (or triggered by) my food and weight issues.I've been pigging out a lot lately, and I've put back on quite a bit of weight. I start feeling guilty, I start feeling ugly and that I'll never get the weight back off, I feel like a slob--and that's about when I dissociate. thrn i ieat more I get really bad headaches when I dissociate that and I can't get anything done, I can't excercise, can't keep the house clean (which i barely do anyway)--all i do is stuff my face more then the whole cyclebegins.

i ahven't dpme any of the assignments or suggestions given by my psych, therapist or group therapy leader. I FEEL UCKY!!

I'm so sorry you're feeling so bad!! I can empathize with a lot of what you are describing. What exactly is "disociating"? I've heard the term just don't know what exactly it is.

shortandcute,

It sounds to as though you're lacking motivation to get started ~ which then turns into a cycle of eat --> self-hate --> give up --> eat --> and so on.

Does that sound right to you?

I'm not sure what you can do to battle the cycle that you're stuck in. But I think that an important piece is recognizing it whenever it strikes. Perhaps then your logical mind will be able to overcome the emotional mind's seek of comfort & safety, in the way it believes it "right".

Something worth considering anyway. Gentle hugs sent your way...

redbandit.....dissociating means many different things depending upon ones own location, cultural background, treatment providers use of the term but in general it means spacing off, not concentrating, not focusing on the present moment, day dreaming, feeling numb, ....

shortandcute...sometimes I feel this way too, I get to thinking about other things and not connecting with the fact that Im supposed to be somewhere at a set time.. especially if its something I really dont want to do. what helps me is making a confirmation phone call to let my therapist or who ever Im supposed to meet, telling them I will be there...its kind of hard to miss a commitment /appointment once I have confirmed I would be there. another thing I do that prevents a lot of missed appointments through spacing it off is by writing the appointment on a post it note and a reward for completing that goal of attending to that appointment. I make the reward be something I wouldnt have other wise and would really really want and enjoy having.

Well, its different depending who its happening to--everyone kind of does it to a point, like when you are daydreaming, or real tired, or whatever. But sometimes, with people with different disorders, it can be a bit more intense (like with people with DID). My sister used to always say I was spacing out. I really don't know how to describe it very well, but when I do, I dont totally black out, but I space out, I lose focus, I feel like my body is running on autopilot, my brain feels like its fuzzy and not really there, my vision seems more blurry, I get really forgetful (more than usual), I often cant understand what people are saying to me even if I can hear them clearly, things going on around me just aren't "registering," etc. I often get bad headaches when I'm doing it, depending on how intense the situation is.

Your description reminds me of a seizure I had in my early 20s. I have no memory of the event, even though I did not lose consciousness. Apparently, I appeared automatic and walked in circles throughout the seizure. Afterwards, I had a nasty headache. Could you be having seizures?

It sounds like you may have been having a depersonalization/derealization episode, it is a form of dissociation. If you look up the specifics on those you'll see the mentioning of autopilot symptoms as if you are like an automaton and people's speech becomes weird sounding etc. I've had derealization most of my life or in other words I can't remember a time before I felt like this which I think makes it easier in a way because I don't know the difference.

maybe I can look into that; my mom used to get seizures like that all the time, and it just looked like she was zoning out or something