[Multiple survivor]

The single thot that seeps into my head every day is, "I am sad that I may never have a relationship w anyone who I can truly trust, feel safe w, and rely on." It is ironic that humans need relations in order to b healthy, but in my case, and I'm sure in many of your's, it is less healthy to b w someone.
Family is supposed to give u the fundamentals of comfort and nurturing needed to develop into a functioning and reasonably healthy adult; to have a sense of self and self worth. Not only did I not receive these things (as I'm sure most of u can relate), but any morsel of hope and of feeling safe was also ripped away from me. Alone in my fight to survive...to make it to my 18 th bday in order to flee the home, no one would help me mo matter how much i asked; not my teachers, friends, or family. I think that is the part that hurts the most.

[Ithilanar]

I often really wish I could turn off the need to be with others.
When I am in a relationship it does as you say make everything worse and I become so insecure and paranoid I feel my world is crumbling and I can't function do to self-loathing.
When I am alone I become so lethargic and empty because life has no meaning without anyone to love you and to have the strength to 'endure' you.
Like you say our family is what should have given that comfort and nurture, they should have been the ones to let us have an outlet to our emotions and then help us regulate them. But something along the way was lost and now there is a gap inside us that no relationship can fill or any therapy. Things can improve, things can get better, but there is always a part of you missing.

[Multiple survivor]

The part where u said, "Something is missing" is so right on the target. Thank u

[greentires4me]

Welcome to PC Chat!!!

I was kicked out at 18 and then ran away to different province for work. It took guts which I somewhat lacked after I got there I wanted to come home I wanted to feel safe once more. But as the years grew on I started to feel safe in my own skin that in my my own reality as person without the proper fundamentals that I grew up with I had to start living on my own without certain things. I have gone through stages of being safe in my surroundings I just had to make do with what I have.

Some times thats the only thing to do is to make do with what you have. and make some good decisions and some ironicly stupid decisions. but we alll make mistakes some are blatant then others...I might be talking out of my butt here but its only my experience is laid out on the screen

You can find genuine friends like I have still through my moods and I feel special with them.

[yellowfrog268]

hello and welcome. as you've probably seen by now, you are in the company of others with similar difficulties. There is a forum here on Psych Central specifically for survivors of abuse that you may also find helpful.