[Agonizing]

I am not sure if this belongs in this forum but whatever. I'm a very angry person. I look in the mirror and ask myself what I am. I look in my eyes and see just evil. Eyes of hate. I feel as if I'm a demon. Lately I've had a lust to kill as it is only the point of my existence. I don't see what else there is to do. If I wanted to do something, someone has already done it or does it better. There isn't a point. I guess deep down I just hate everybody. I just want to live for myself and love only myself. I love seeing others in pain now and lately I've been mean and I love it. I love seeing suffering in others as it makes me stronger. I care for no one else but myself. What's wrong with me?

[Piraeus]

Hi Agonizing, I'm sorry you are feeling this way towards others. It's important to love yourself, but the hatred you have towards others is not healthy. I would suggest Anger Management. You should also see a pdoc and therapist asap. They can help you sort out these thought.

Sincerely,

Piraeus

[Ithilanar]

Hey, Agonizing. It sounds like the feelings you are experiencing are compensating for something else and what you really feel - betrayed, hurt, hopeless. Your name says it all, you are in agony. You must feel excluded by everyone in order to feel such deep hatred towards others and that you would like to harm them, sort of like avenging your own pain.
Has something in your past happened that has made you feel this way? Has something bad happened recently you might need help dealing with? You sound like a person in deep need of understanding and human love. I really hope whatever it is that has hurt you will not eat you up and that you will get help. Do you have anyone that can support you during this time? Your anger is just the mere surface of what's hidden underneath, just remember that.

[sans]

Dear Agonizing,
I am offering my hand to you for support. I strongly agree with the two replies above. I think that we are here on Earth to love and be loved. Without that, it all seems like a chaotic mess to me.
Just because it's "all been done before" doesn't mean it can't be done your way also.
I think everytime we hurt someone and make them suffer, we are really hurting ourselves just as much.
By your screen name alone, it feels like it's time for a different way of looking at things.
Sans