[halliebeth1987]

Have any of you ever just been in a content mood and suddenly just want to do harmful things? Like you are in a great mood then suddenly just wanna take some pills so u can chill cause youre anxious?

do any of you ever *want* to be in a hospital?

[allme]

Originally Posted by halliebeth1987

Have any of you ever just been in a content mood and suddenly just want to do harmful things? Like you are in a great mood then suddenly just wanna take some pills so u can chill cause youre anxious?

do any of you ever *want* to be in a hospital?

Yes I can have dreadful and very quick mood swings like that but can't say I have ever 'wanted' to be in hospital. I hate hospitals!

[halliebeth1987]

I do too!!! But have u ever wanted to feel safe from what you wanna do?

[allme]

Originally Posted by halliebeth1987

I do too!!! But have u ever wanted to feel safe from what you wanna do?

Yeah I get ya but have never been in hospital for it (although I probably should have been at times) so can't relate that feeling if you know what I mean? I certainly do at times wish there was somewhere I could go to get better.....well maybe that's the time to go!!!! A bit scary for me though. Can't stand hospitals.

[halliebeth1987]

Originally Posted by allme

Yeah I get ya but have never been in hospital for it (although I probably should have been at times) so can't relate that feeling if you know what I mean? I certainly do at times wish there was somewhere I could go to get better.....well maybe that's the time to go!!!! A bit scary for me though. Can't stand hospitals.

I HATE them! last time I was in the dr wasn't very nice and told me he cant help me. he can only suggest me to get counseling. I do go now. but he also said next time to go to the state hospital.

[allme]

Originally Posted by halliebeth1987

I HATE them! last time I was in the dr wasn't very nice and told me he cant help me. he can only suggest me to get counseling. I do go now. but he also said next time to go to the state hospital.

Aw sorry, I have also been told the same thing before but this was through a counsellor. She point blank told me I was too resistant and couldn't help me. This was after looking at my records so hadn't even given me a fricking chance. Not that I resisted the therapy but was just resistant...according to her anyway.

I am in the UK and have been told about a place in my local town where you can go and gather yourself for up to a week....its some big house ...not sure what they have there but I here it's a little safe haven! Sounds nice

[halliebeth1987]

I don't have that here

[allme]

Originally Posted by halliebeth1987

I don't have that here

Ah that's a shame Are you feeling now like you need to go to hospital?

[halliebeth1987]

no but I wish I could have a reason to feel safe and I know this is weird but as much as I hate not being in control, right now I wish that everything would be decided and planned for me and I didn't have a choice. because right now I feel so worthless and need structure to tell me what to do before I start acting on impulkse.

[allme]

Originally Posted by halliebeth1987

no but I wish I could have a reason to feel safe and I know this is weird but as much as I hate not being in control, right now I wish that everything would be decided and planned for me and I didn't have a choice. because right now I feel so worthless and need structure to tell me what to do before I start acting on impulkse.

I understand that feeling Which is usually why I like a strong man....I like the feeling of being under someone's wing and somewhat even control. But I guess then it would be easy not to take responsibility which is what I struggle with so badly.

Pls don't feel worthless, yes you are worthy, just as much as anyone else on this planet, what makes anyone better than or more worthy than you? Try and focus on the good things about yourself, which I know is near impossible when feeling worthless but you so aren't It's this thing called BPD that wants to make us feel like we are worthless. Don't listen to it, fight it, challenge it! bark right back at it and tell it, YES you worthy and are capable of making your own decisions. Look hard within yourself, see yourself and all the good you have

[allme]

Now sounds like the time to speak to somebody, put together some kind of plan? You are capable of adding structure to your life, even if you need help with that. When I feel like you do, I speak with my CPN (psychiatric nurse who pays me weekly visits) and together we plan stuff I can do. Do you have anyone you can do that with? If not, why not try with us and thing of stuff you can start doing? I don't know you or if you work etc so kinda hard to suggest anything right now. Do seek some support though before it overwhelms you

[avlady]

I actually did like my last stay in the hospital the last time i was there about a month ago. Things were more lenient this time except we couldn't smoke(i smoke eciggs) and them neither. they gave us the patch instead. I also worried i would have to have a long stay but didn't in the end i was there for a week. I needed the time to myself to get better after a long depression. actually the depression didn't go away, but i know it wouldn't anyway. i do want to go back for a longer stay for a med change, that takes more time.

[halliebeth1987]

the feelings and thoughts don't always last very long. I never know when they'll be back. I don't really *want* to si anytime soon..but...I want to so I can feel it and see it and...well feel control. im not even really upset and I wanna cut.

[HALLIEBETH87]

guys this is hallie. I finally got the password changed so I can use this one! I am the same person as halliebeth1987, obviously

[allme]

Originally Posted by HALLIEBETH87

guys this is hallie. I finally got the password changed so I can use this one! I am the same person as halliebeth1987, obviously

cool, hope you are feeling better