[Edda]

I have a pony in my bedroom. Looks like a Shetland - messy, long hair, black/brown coat. He really is small. He appears between my bed and the bookshelf. Every time I see him, he is more and more tacked.

I think he is here to take me away.
I am fully prepared for a stroke or a heart attack.

The weird thing is - my dog can see him too. He had actually seen him long before I did - a month ago my dog had spent a restless night crying, staring at the spot where I see the pony, refusing to go anywhere near it.

I think I'm going to die. I think the pony is a messenger.

So weird.
I can sense his presence. Yet I am not scared.

Anyone else with ponies or other stuff?

Frankly, I'm not sure whether I'm hallucinating/going nuts or I actually have a messenger in my bedroom.

Edda

[allme]

Think you need to talk to your T or doctor No I don't see stuff like that.

[Fuzzybear]

.....

[Edda]

Thanks a lot, guys. I did mention pony to T. Seems pony is unimportant... :/

Gah... he is my personal, tiny steed, making me a rather unlikely and mostly insecure horseman of the immanent Apocalypse...!

Well... horsewoman... does it matter?

/me sighs

Edda

[allme]

Glad you mentioned it to T, if he has no cause for concern, don't worry about it. Never had hallucinations so don't know really.

[Edda]

Frankly...
Well, first of all, thanks a LOT for your most kind comment.
I'm just rather uncertain about my mental health team being attentive and realistic.

I have mentioned the pony to them. So I have the aggressive growling that keeps approaching me from thin air.
I am being told that it is all normal for someone who has endured childhood abuse.

Well... nice...

I'm delighted not being a loony.

Still... ffs!... There is a PONY in my bedroom and my dog can see it too!!!
Who the heck should I turn to?

[allme]

Originally Posted by Edda

Frankly...
Well, first of all, thanks a LOT for your most kind comment.
I'm just rather uncertain about my mental health team being attentive and realistic.

I have mentioned the pony to them. So I have the aggressive growling that keeps approaching me from thin air.
I am being told that it is all normal for someone who has endured childhood abuse.

Well... nice...

I'm delighted not being a loony.

Still... ffs!... There is a PONY in my bedroom and my dog can see it too!!!
Who the heck should I turn to?

Yes I can see why that would be unsettling. Really, it would just freak me out to be honest so I think you are handling it well. I am sure they have looked at your situation and if they say there is nothing to worry about, you have nothing to worry about

Are you taking anything to help with hallucinations?

[HealingNSuffering]

I'm sorry this is happening to you, try to think of it as a protector - a guardian sent to watch over you to keep you safe from other creatures of the night. Dogs are very in tune with the spirit world, the spirits are harmless. I think praying out loud will help, I used to be haunted by strange beings at night. Praying made them not so scary anymore. There is definitely an increased risk of hallucinations associated with childhood trauma, the ACE study shows children who experience over 7 adverse events are 5x more likely to experience hallucinations, I experienced 9 adverse events, some of the events happened repeatedly. Source: Adverse childhood experiences and hallucina... [Child Abuse Negl. 2005] - PubMed - NCBI

"No great genius has ever existed without a touch of madness." -- Aristotle

[Edda]

I have been prescribed Diazepam on an "as and when required" basis. It does nothing for me, really.
Certainly doesn't deal with the feeling that I am about to die and I am being called by the pony who is ready to take me away.

[Edda]

Originally Posted by HealingNSuffering

I'm sorry this is happening to you, try to think of it as a protector - a guardian sent to watch over you to keep you safe from other creatures of the night. Dogs are very in tune with the spirit world, the spirits are harmless. I think praying out loud will help, I used to be haunted by strange beings at night. Praying made them not so scary anymore. There is definitely an increased risk of hallucinations associated with childhood trauma, the ACE study shows children who experience over 7 adverse events are 5x more likely to experience hallucinations, I experienced 9 adverse events, some of the events happened repeatedly. Source: Adverse childhood experiences and hallucina... [Child Abuse Negl. 2005] - PubMed - NCBI

"No great genius has ever existed without a touch of madness." -- Aristotle

I very much appreciate your post...

[allme]

Originally Posted by Edda

I have been prescribed Diazepam on an "as and when required" basis. It does nothing for me, really.
Certainly doesn't deal with the feeling that I am about to die and I am being called by the pony who is ready to take me away.

Isn't there anything else they can give you for it?

[HealingNSuffering]

Originally Posted by Edda

I have been prescribed Diazepam on an "as and when required" basis. It does nothing for me, really.
Certainly doesn't deal with the feeling that I am about to die and I am being called by the pony who is ready to take me away.

Let the pdoc know that the Diazepam does nothing for you then. They can change it to something that will work better for you, everybody has different chemistry and metabolizes these psychotropic drugs differently. Also let the pdoc know about the hallucinations, they can sometimes be caused by benzodiazepines (valium, xanax, klonopin etc). Most likely they'll switch you off the benzodiazepines to a different kind of medication to deal with your anxieties. Did the pony show up before or after you started using the diazepam?

Originally Posted by Edda

I very much appreciate your post...

Thank you, I appreciate the appreciation.

[Edda]

Originally Posted by HealingNSuffering

Let the pdoc know that the Diazepam does nothing for you then. They can change it to something that will work better for you, everybody has different chemistry and metabolizes these psychotropic drugs differently. Also let the pdoc know about the hallucinations, they can sometimes be caused by benzodiazepines (valium, xanax, klonopin etc). Most likely they'll switch you off the benzodiazepines to a different kind of medication to deal with your anxieties. Did the pony show up before or after you started using the diazepam?

Thank you, I appreciate the appreciation.

The pony had taken residence near my bed BEFORE the Diazepam adventure.

I think I shall keep the pony, really. Best thing ever.