[MoxieDoxie]

Why Are BPD Relationships So Complicated?
Some features of borderline personality disorder strike at the heart of what makes us able to have good interpersonal relationships. Some of these features are:
Low emotional intelligence
There’s more than one way to be smart. In addition to the kind of intelligence you can measure on an IQ test, there’s emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence is about monitoring emotions—both your own and those of the people around you—and then using this knowledge to guide your thinking and actions. Many people think BPs don’t have empathy. They do—it’s just that their own emotions are so intense they can be oblivious to the emotions of those around them. They’re like a drowning person who grabs on to a would-be rescuer and pulls them both down.
Impulsive aggression
Impulsive aggression is what happens when the other shoe drops, when the eggshells break, and the emotional roller coaster takes a 180-degree turn. It can be triggered by immediate threats of rejection or abandonment paired with frustration. The aggression can be turned inward (self-injury, suicide) or turned outward (raging, verbal abuse, domestic violence).
Impulsive aggression is associated with a biological “tug-of-war” between the logical and emotional aspects of the brain, in which the logical side loses. These aggressive tendencies can be inherited.
Think of impulsive aggression as a “border-lion,” a ferocious beast that is uncaged when BPs’ emotions are so strong and overwhelming they can no longer be contained. It is not exclusive to BPD, but a component of several impulse control disorders such as intermittent explosive disorder.
Whether the border-lion is turned inward or outward, it is one of the top barriers keeping BPs and those who love them from developing the close, trusting relationship each partner yearns for.
It’s going to be tough, but try to hold fast to the notion that your family member and the border-lion are not one and the same.
Rejection sensitivity
In addition to fearing abandonment, people with BPD are overly sensitive to rejection. They anxiously await it, see it when it isn’t there, and overreact to it whether it’s there or not. This is why small slights—or perceived small slights—can cause major messes.
Child-Like Characteristics
People with BPD may seem as mature as any other adult in social or professional situations. But when it comes to coping with strong emotions, they can be stuck at a child’s developmental level.

Bipolar Disorder and BPD
While many people get the two confused, the two are very different. Bipolar is a mood disorder, and BPD is a personality disorder characterized, in part, by mood swings. BPD and bipolar are different in that
· While people with bipolar disorder swing between mania and major depression, the mood swings typical in BPD are for a variety of emotions: fear, anger, etc
· People with BPD cycle much more quickly, often several times a day.
· The moods in people with BPD are more dependent, either positively or negatively, on what’s going on in their life at the moment.

[Edda]

I like this piece. What's the source?

[MoxieDoxie]

Originally Posted by Edda

I like this piece. What's the source?

Borderline Personality Disorder Information and Support - BPD Central

Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified

Out of the FOG - Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

[Edda]

Thanks

Thanks!

Part of me hates reading these things though. I'm always trying to convince myself that this is not my diagnosis and then I read stuff on here and elsewhere online and realise that it really is. And I do know and accept it mostly now, I just still hope to read something that says definitively that no I'm not BPD at all!

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

Thanks!

Part of me hates reading these things though. I'm always trying to convince myself that this is not my diagnosis and then I read stuff on here and elsewhere online and realise that it really is. And I do know and accept it mostly now, I just still hope to read something that says definitively that no I'm not BPD at all!

When I finally got this diagnosis, I embraced it!!! It was the most freeing thing in the world to me to finally understand what was wrong with me and to begin to explore ways that I could become better. And I am better. I think had I fought this I would not be in the "much better" place that I am in now.

[IndieVisible]

Ok forsake of discussion and further education on this topic which is btw still verrry heatly debated among top professionals in the field! There are some psychiatrists who flatly deny BPD exists. They consider what is being diagnosed as bpd is actually just a lighter version of bipolar or the same in some cases. Now let me make one thing clear before we go any further. I neither agree or disagree with any of this. The jury is still out for me because I have read very convincing arguments on both sides! And the debate continues!

On a side note, insurance companies don't cover as much for personality disorders but provide much more coverage for mood disorders. Many regardless of what side of the debate they are on are advocating to remove bpd from the personality category.

Here are a few links to get you started if you wish to do more reading on why some psychiatrists have never accepted bpd as a new disorder.

Borderline or Bipolar or both?

borderline

Demystifying borderline personality: critique of the concept and unorthodox reflections on its natural kinship with the bipolar spectrum - 2004 - Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica - Wiley Online Library

happy reading

[Trippin2.0]

I'm not reading, don't need to I have an opinion already.

>My bipolar is 90% random, even predictable cycles.

>My bpd is triggered, 90% by my bf.

>My bipolar is mood, accompanied with negative / destructive thoughts. eg I'm immortal, or life is redundant, or both depending on cycle. Sometimes sprinkling some psychosis here and there made up of nastyass voices screaming at me.

>My bpd, triggered distorted thoughts and perceptions that cause extreme emotional and physical reactions.

So in short, BP 〓 Random, BPD〓 Reactionary.

That was a gross over simplification and still I don't see how bpd can be a type of bp.

Also if bpd doesn't exist, why the hell does this forum thrive? Why don't we just post about this stuff in the bp/relationship forum? Better why not post in General Chat since everyone can surely relate because bpd doesn't even exist...

IMO Its easy for proffessionals to make retarded blunders such as this because all they know comes from a textbook. If they lived our lives they would sing very different tunes.

ETA: My bpd mood can be modified or completely changed with outside intervention. Eg, I feel rejected and depressed until my bf shows up with a dozen roses, while my bp depression will not be swayed by flowers, attention or even meds. Bp moods change on their own damn time.

[IndieVisible]

I think I forgot to mention that the majority of psychiatrists feel very sure about BPD. It is a smaller percentage of psychiatrists that disagree with BPD. I certainly don't want to upset any one, but I'm just a data geek and love to read up on every thing. In this field however popular opinion changes, no one ever has the last word. That's what makes it so interesting to me.

[Edda]

data-geek is good

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

Ok forsake of discussion and further education on this topic which is btw still verrry heatly debated among top professionals in the field! There are some psychiatrists who flatly deny BPD exists. They consider what is being diagnosed as bpd is actually just a lighter version of bipolar or the same in some cases. Now let me make one thing clear before we go any further. I neither agree or disagree with any of this. The jury is still out for me because I have read very convincing arguments on both sides! And the debate continues!

On a side note, insurance companies don't cover as much for personality disorders but provide much more coverage for mood disorders. Many regardless of what side of the debate they are on are advocating to remove bpd from the personality category.

Here are a few links to get you started if you wish to do more reading on why some psychiatrists have never accepted bpd as a new disorder.

Borderline or Bipolar or both?

borderline

Demystifying borderline personality: critique of the concept and unorthodox reflections on its natural kinship with the bipolar spectrum - 2004 - Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavica - Wiley Online Library

happy reading

There are folks who think that the holocaust never happened too. Just saying. Opinions are like......well you know.

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

There are folks who think that the holocaust never happened too. Just saying. Opinions are like......well you know.

Nobody is denying the symptoms or traits attributed to borderline, they deny it is a new disorder. What you said would make since if the argument was there is no disorder. But that is not the case at all. What they object to is creating a new disorder. In their professional opinion, it should remain in the mood disorder under bipolar. No one is denying the suffering and pain and issues surrounding this. Now how is that like denying the holocaust?

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

Nobody is denying the symptoms or traits attributed to borderline, they deny it is a new disorder. What you said would make since if the argument was there is no disorder. But that is not the case at all. What they object to is creating a new disorder. In their professional opinion, it should remain in the mood disorder under bipolar. No one is denying the suffering and pain and issues surrounding this. Now how is that like denying the holocaust?

I think she's kind of referring to the fact that there are doctors or people that deny bpd exists. That's what it refers to

"There are some psychiatrists who flatly deny BPD exists."

[IndieVisible]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I think she's kind of referring to the fact that there are doctors or people that deny bpd exists. That's what it refers to

"There are some psychiatrists who flatly deny BPD exists."

They never accepted the new category called borderline, they think it should still be under bipolar. They don't deny the symptoms or traits, they object to the change and creation of a new name and category for what use to be simply part of bipolar. I think that is a valid difference then simply denying bpd doesn't exist which suggests the illness is not valid. The illness is certainly valid and real and does exist but currently under the wrong name and that is what the debate over it is about.

Originally Posted by IndieVisible

They never accepted the new category called borderline, they think it should still be under bipolar. They don't deny the symptoms or traits, they object to the change and creation of a new name and category for what use to be simply part of bipolar. I think that is a valid difference then simply denying bpd doesn't exist which suggests the illness is not valid. The illness is certainly valid and real and does exist but currently under the wrong name and that is what the debate over it is about.

I don't think anyone was arguing what you just said. I merely pointed out that ggirl's comment was probably in response to the statement that many psychiatrists deny that bpd exists, which was part of your original statement.