Flying solo - The things that are convincing me it's best..

I'm not sure what that means

That was a star trek reference wrapped up in my skewed sense of humour!

they will do both. it always gets better for a time, but there are always thorns in the bed of roses

Eloquently expressed - just what i was trying to put across.

Seeing the lighter side of things is key to life IMO. hang in there!

Exactly!

I'm not too worried about this one. I know she's fond of me, even if just as a guy friend. We mostly talk tech stuff related to developing our mods together for Skyrim but did so pretty much all night.

but just gonna take it as it comes. I refuse to attach myself to someone that doesn't clearly make themselves available to me anymore

The best way to go in my opinion. Kudos to you

Star trek is not one of my interests so that was lost on me. forgive me <3.

And thank you. for all your comments and encouragement

I'm new here and I just read and I think that you are all fabby!

I play in virtual worlds and it satisfies alot of the things i want in RL without the complications. I realize I'm a weirdo, but everyone I hang out with in virtual worlds is too, and amazingly many have the same sorts of reasons for handling it that way.. BUT telling you to substitute cyberfun for the real thing wasn't my point.. my actual point WAS ... i guess that rl just hurts alot and is full of all sorts of bs and i don't blame you for the solo flying for the time being.

thanks as long as you don't say "flabby" o.O

I actually read that as flabby at first but then I just woke up and all the letters are merging together right now!

.......

Just my 2 cents (and btw, didnt there used to be a 'cents' key?) ... I've done online dating and being online at the right time in the right place to meet someone 'I was meant to'. Both worked for many years and in the first case, we just grew apart, in the second--well, we're still working on it. And are both BPD, so that's challenging, but it's never dull, certainly.

Some dating sites I found to be no better than meat markets...hook-up sites for people who just want quickies, whether physically or a combination of physical and emotional, so just as you would IRL, paying attention to possible red flags is always recommended. I found tho, that going into chat rooms (depending on site) is more benificial because one can see how a person 'of interest' relates to other people...get a feel for temperment, as well as suss out possible compatibility--in my case, if the dude has no sense of humor, it's a deal breaker, no matter what else he brings to the table. With my issues, laughing is necessary, sometimes just to make it thru to the next day, or next minute, for that matter.

Just saying, there is good and bad in online 'dating' or 'meeting'....and just like any relationship building experiance, going slow helps enormously.

You're welcome <3 and I would never judge anyone on here 1. I don't know any of you in person and 2. I do my best to follow the Golden rule. I like what you all have to say. I stopped dating three years ago. I deal with vast amounts of fear from past trauma and I prefer to fly alone but yeah flying solo can get extremely lonely.

I do not believe in sacrificing happiness for your children either and wasn't suggesting that. But you are seeming to say that it's better if you don't have a relationship anyway, so what happiness are you sacrificing? I hear you saying it would be a roller coaster and that it ultimately would be more bad than good for you. Just sayin' it wouldn't be good for the kids either.

Agree on that point, I suppose I took that and ran with it to the far end of the field you're right though if it is between a roller coaster, bumpy ride of a relationship and being just my boys, indeed the boys are the choice I will make.

Kinda between a rock and a hard place here with it all but as it is it's not like it's entirely my choice unless the opportunity presents itself.