Paranoid Thinking

...........is that something common with BPD. I seriously caused myself such grief from paranoid thinking about my T telling me I am BPD to somehow punish me and to take control over me. To reduce me. So I got angry and all I wanted to to was piss him off and elicit any kind of response from him. I did things that cut my nose off to spite my face. The paranoid thinking fueled heavy emotions causing me suffering for the last few days.

Holy Crap.

Yes it is something associated with BPD and it's one of the main problems I battle with. I am sooo paranoid I avoid a lot of human contact to avoid those horrible thoughts and feelings. I even get paranoid around family. It's a horrible thing to deal with when at it's peak and so destructive to self and relationships. It's something I am trying really hard to over come.

I know that it's not unusual, at least not for me. It can come and go, but is especially prevalent in my thinking under times of stress or sadness.

I have a bit of paranoia myself although I don't think it bothers me all that much.. just generally the way I think and I'm used to it. But apparently it's there because at one point I was diagnosed with Paranoid Personality Disorder, prior to my bpd Dx later on.

I suffer from pretty bad hearing loss also so it feeds into my paranoia because I can't hear people. So if I see them talking and they so much as look at me oddly I think they are talking about me. If people are laughing across the room or snickering, it's probably about me. I don't really think about it when it's just random people but it's there all the time. It only bothers me the most when it's people I know and actually care what they think.

Not sure if I've ever thought anyone was overtly after me or trying to hurt me (other than my ex and the accuracy of this is debatable) but I do sometimes or a lot of the time think people have ulterior motives against me in a more subtle manner. Like they do subtle things just to get to me or to upset me and such.

Pretty sure most of this is just part of being bpd.

this is true, I should have added that to my own experience.

It's not listed as one of the traits or criteria for diagnoses of BPD, but certainly paranoia is a very common feeling for even nons. I think your seeing just how it's played out in BPD. It's also common you also have some criteria from other disorders. I not only get paranoid, but I sometimes briefly get auditory hallucinations. My paranoia also presents a problem for me with my anger issues as I tend to get very anti-social or argumentative or aggressive.

When people tell me I*'m just getting paranoid and when I am aware there is a strong possibity they are right in that instance I like to quote Kurt Cobain, “Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.”

References to paranoia as traits related to bpd:

frantic efforts to avoid real or perceived abandonment
pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships, characterized by alternating between idealization and devaluation ("love-hate" relationships)
extreme, persistently unstable self-image and sense of self
impulsive behavior in at least two areas (such as spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or recurring acts of self-mutilation (such as cutting or burning oneself)
unstable mood caused by brief but intense episodes of depression, irritability, or anxiety
chronic feelings of emptiness
inappropriate and intense anger, or difficulty controlling anger displayed through temper outbursts, physical fights, and/or sarcasm
stress-related paranoia that passes fairly quickly and/or severe dissociative symptoms— feeling disconnected from one's self, as if one is an observer of one's own actions

Read more: Borderline personality disorder - causes, DSM, therapy, paranoia, adults, people, used, medication

also:

from dsm IV:

1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in (5).
2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. This is called "splitting."
3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in (5).
5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.
8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

I stand corrected, from the DSM-IV-TR

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

only need 5 or more of the 9 listed tho.

right so you can have bpd without it but it is one of the traits. From experience with people I know with bpd it does seem somewhat common too.

I certainly have more then my share of paranoia!

What? are you talking about me? >.> <.< O.O

One of my favorite movies, Taxi Driver!

lol ..

Yes paranoia is common in borderline as well as other personality disorders as well, including narcissistic and (obviously) paranoid personality disorder. My paranoia is usually in response to stress.

A doctor in a day program I attended explained to me that what I experienced as paranoia was a reflection of my low self esteem. When I'm stressed I always think there is a subtext going on that proves people to be judging me or that they don't like me for some reason. Its hard to explain...

For example: You and I are at a table together in a group, and you choose to sit across from me instead of next to me. My thoughts fly off "S/He thinks that they are better than me because ...(whatever crazy self judgment I actually have).... They talked before about why they don't like me. Obviously, everybody here hates me. F them!"
.
When really, I am there who ever even considered any of it. You just grabbed a seat.

I'm not sure if it is anything like what you are experiencing, but I have found this insight the doctor gave me very helpful.

Yeah....it is like that exactly.

It is happening today from a coaches meeting and I am feeling inadequate, exposed, weak compared to the others and that everything negative was directed at me. Instead of seeing that all the suggestions and rules going forward as a good thing to help guide me and improve. I am stuck in a paranoid thinking that I am the weakest link, I do not even know why they keep me, everyone can't stand me, they can see I am mental....OMG....all these thoughts are killing me and my self esteem/confidence. It makes me frantic, my inner critic beats me up and I want to hide. My brain becomes overloaded and overwhelmed and i feel worthless. I want to give up.

Sort of like that for me too except I can hide it better and react differently. In my case however, its even more complicated because some of my paranoia is actually justifiable. I also have ADHD. And I get paranoid people think I'm too slow or to stupid for the high end position I'm in. I have to take a lot of classes and tests as part of my job. I know people talk about me. I know some people don't like me. Word get's around and I eventually catch wind to some of it. This in return makes me very antisocial towards some people and others I want to seek revenge on but don't dare too. Part of my stress is always being able to hide what's really going on inside my head. It's a vicious cycle for me. I walk in to work and if people don't say hello to me I automatically think it's because they were just talking about me or because they don't like me. So in return I do not treat them as nice as I could. Not rude, but not nice either. I know my boundaries what I can get away with and what I can't. In return this causes people to like me less. The ironic part is I really don't care if they like me, I just don't want them talking about me! But I keep giving them more reasons to talk about me. I would love to give up, but it's not a option for me. I need the job too much.