[IGotThis]

So I'm in a really good mood today, but I can't help but be terrified in the background that I'm just gonna lose it... I hate feeling good because I always screw it up..... It sucks because it never lasts...

[unaluna]

Seriously I know the feeling. I traced mine back to, whenever I got confident about something, my mother would slap me upside the head, for my own good of course It's taken me and my t a long time to get over it. Still now I expect the phone to ring from her when I get - just start - on a roll. My rolls don't last very long.

[IGotThis]

Yeah. I always just had somebody beating me down whenever I was in a great mood, so I learned to not be happy, unless I was faking it when I'm upset...

[avlady]

Sometimes it seems like people see your happy, and they want to wipe the smile on your face away.

[Lmats]

With my BPD, I always thought of happiness as an asshole with their high-beams on. You're driving in the dark then suddenly, out of nowhere, some idiot with his high-beams on comes towards you. It's too much to handle. It's so bright it's throwing you off. You don't know how to deal with it and before you can even adjust to it, the idiot drives past you and the darkness returns.

I don't know if that made sense to anyone but me, but that's always how I looked at it. For myself personally, happiness is even scarier than the anger/depression I endure.

[UnderTheRose]

I was so stressed when I woke up yesterday then had an hour of absolute joy and then crashed flat on my face. While I was happy I kept worrying the whole time... any minute, any minute... grrr. I am my own worst enemy, lol.