Testing situation. Any advice???

Am just about hit the road for my sisters wedding on Saturday, this is the first big whole family thing I'll have gone to since coming off meds. I'm stressing big time over whether I'll be able to "behave myself"

my relationships with the family are difficult anyway rooting back to how disgusting I was back when we were all still at home (I know that that was not technically my fault but no one else can see that)
Over the last few years some quite unsteady bridges have begun to be built, hell there have been times when some of us have been able to sit in the same room have a right old laugh together!

But, already I'm stressing out. Just the thought of a certain people being there is bringing out all these horrible ways of feeling and thinking that I haven't felt in years.

I'm really scared that "old me" might decide to fully break out and ruin the day for everyone.

Not going at all isn't an option. My sister provided me with a safe place to run to when I was a kid, looking back I'm sure she actually saved lives when I was at my worst, So I know I owe it to her the be there.

So I guess I'm asking for some advice, coping strategies, anything?
Have any of you successfully got through a similar situation.

I know I could very well be freaking out unnecessarily and it might actually turn out to be a very pleasant weekend
But on the other hand if anything is going to ruin it it will be me

I do not think you are giving yourself enough credit. I understand how rocky family relationships can be, and I know how BPD can feed off of these feelings and that it can be a very dangerous combination. But I see that you understand how important this day is for your sister, and I'm so glad to see that you are willing to do this for her, even though it's going to be a struggle for you. I would suggest that if you start feeling to agitated or upset or whatever your starting triggers might be that you try and separate yourself from whatever situation(s) you are in. Maybe politely say that you need to use the restroom, or just find a nice quiet corner or something to help you have a bit of "me" time to compose yourself. Remember positive affirmations, perhaps make a list and read it right before you go, or if you need to get away, you can read it then too. You already did mention a couple, that you are doing this for your sister who has been so good for you and that you are at aware that this could turn out to be a nice weekend. And I really hope it is for you.

I was also going to suggest taking breaks from your family if you are feeling stressed. There will be times when that is not possible and then try some deep breaths, if there is something you find calming take that. and try to enjoy your sister's special day.

Try not to think the worst! Who knows how far you have come and it may be all ok

If it does get too much, take time away and as much time as you need! It's better to go missing for a little while then be triggered into anything. Limit conversations with ppl you think may trigger you also. Concentrate on your sister..it's her BIG day Stick with ppl you know you'll be safe with.

I hope you have a great time! Don't forget to enjoy yourself

Thanks for being so nice guys. Just got to the hotel and settling in. Only had one small slip up so far - said something out loud that should really have stayed in my head but no one heard thankfully.
Of course you are all complety right, and thank goodness its illegal to smoke indoors. have had a good scout around and thankfully plenty of good hiding places.
Looking after all the nieces and nephews tomorrow so that will be good

Spending time with the kids will be fun for you and kids are pretty forgiving. Have a great time.