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#1
Nov 10, 2013, 03:31 PM
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So my boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months today and I know that's not really a long time but I got my hopes up for something special from him today and he didn't even know what today was and seemed to have little interest in the significance of the day. I feel like an idiot- who celebrates 6 month anniversaries? I'm beating myself up now because I feel like this shouldn't be bothering me at all, 6 months is such an insignificant amount of time in a relationship, it's no milestone. How do I over feeling like he failed me?
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 Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
 Bill3
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#2
Nov 10, 2013, 05:01 PM
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Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
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#3
Nov 10, 2013, 05:07 PM
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Quote:
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__________________
Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
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#4
Nov 10, 2013, 06:04 PM
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It's okay if something means more to you than it does to him. Sometimes something might be more important to him than to you.
Try turning the situation around. Just tell him (or reiterate) that at least for you, today is important to you. And tell him you would like to do something special for the both of you (i.e. watch the sunset, go out to dinner, cook a special dinner together, watch a movie together, cuddle together, etc.). Find a way to compromise so that your needs are met w/o too much expectations on him.
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"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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#5
Nov 10, 2013, 06:48 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
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#6
Nov 10, 2013, 08:20 PM
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I have to agree . . . men don't tend to remember things like that. For the longest time it hurt my feelings. I am 48 and still wish he would just even casually bring it up. But I am the one who mentions it and if he at least nicely acknowledges the occasion, well . . . . I have come to accept that.
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Kathy |
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#7
Nov 10, 2013, 08:30 PM
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I did the same thing only 3 months in
 I really got very upset. It was years ago but I thought it would help. I feel embarrassed even writing this. No, guys are not very good with anniversaries, I was married for 20 years and there were a few times where I had to remind him
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Serenity, Courage, Wisdom
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#8
Nov 10, 2013, 08:53 PM
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My husband has to remind me of the year we got married, it's 2002
 We still celebrate the anniversary of our first date but that is easy to remember as it was Valentine's day.
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
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#9
Nov 10, 2013, 11:16 PM
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He made a great recovery. I reminded him of the day and he showed up at my work with flowers and a card.
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__________________
Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
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#10
Nov 10, 2013, 11:41 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
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#11
Nov 11, 2013, 12:00 AM
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Quote:
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__________________
Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
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#12
Nov 11, 2013, 12:23 AM
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Glad to see that you've resolved that. Dates are definitely important to me too. It sounds like you guys are now on the same page with that.
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#13
Nov 11, 2013, 06:54 AM
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When I was younger I used to feel very strongly about this sort of thing.
Honestly though, you should only be worried if he doesn't notice the one year mark. |
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#14
Nov 11, 2013, 06:58 AM
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It's a guy thing. I have to remind my bf of dates all the time. Not just our anniversary but my birthday, birthdays in his family... My memory is terrible lately so everything is written on the calendar so I have to check that weekly to see whats going on....
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#15
Nov 11, 2013, 12:29 PM
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Well he said that he has only ever celebrated yearly anniversaries and so he didn't realize that it was important to me.
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__________________
Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Diagnosed: BPD PTSD |
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#16
Nov 12, 2013, 02:27 PM
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best way to get someone to acknowledge things that are valued by you, such as holidays and celebrations like anniversaries is to celebrate them yourself and show them! Instead of expecting the other person to inherently know this, just do something for them and when they ask why, just matter-of-fact tell them that you find the 6 month semi-versary (anniversary means yearly) important and thought you'd show them how much they mean to you by celebrating it. Just my thoughts! |
 Angel of Bedlam
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#17
Nov 12, 2013, 03:46 PM
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NICE to hear!
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Kathy |
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