[technigal]

Anyone else dreading Christmas or Thanksgiving for the Americans? I dread Christmas every year. I cannot remember a Christmas where I didn't cry. It is so hard with having a child because I want him to have good memories but I am already feeling anxious.

[lynn808]

Yes. Been there. Was so hard to try to make the holidays for the kids to enjoy. Used to lock myself in bedroom and cry too. Thankfully the 2 kids made it through and do well during the holidays. We do discuss the difficulties for them during those times, and I am comforted by their openness and good memories of those times. I now see them differently and try to make some nice memories for the future with them as adults as they are now in their 20's....yikes....yeah almost 23 and 25 now.... They make me smile and enjoy.....now if I could only relax a little.....haha

[beloiseau]

YES. I am dreading spending an extended period with my family (parents and twin sister), but my grandma will also be around. When you are around her, you can literally feel her sucking the happiness and light out of a room. She is very depressed and negative, and focused on her misery. I mean, i guess I am too, but I put on a good face lol. It's just hard to have a fun time with family when i have so many unresolved issues with them. Hopefully it all goes smoothly for everyone!

[technigal]

I am lucky in the sense that I live 4000km away from my family. It is just the 3 of us for any Holiday. It is the memories of disappointment from my childhood that make them hard. I do try to keep a happy face on for my son but sometimes it is hard.

[beloiseau]

I think we just need to recognize that the holiday is just another day on the calendar. It's so hard to keep a good face when we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be happy. Just be yourself and be excited that your family is excited! Maybe that's what I'll try to do.

[Gingersnapsmom]

My sons and I love Christmas (we celebrate on Christmas eve and the meal on Christmas day). There are just the 3 of us so I don't have in-laws anymore and my family is apart. This will be the first Christmas in my life without my mother alive so I know I'm going to be crying a few times. She was extremely crafty and made many, many (maybe as many as 20) ornaments for me and the boys--putting them up will be hard. My brother is terminally ill and so this may be his last one...life is very challenging right now. My other brother has become a (rich) selfish a**hole....so....I am just going to cling to my sons and focus on the pretty decorations. It's the long winter afterwards (here in Vermont) that I am truly dreading.

[beloiseau]

Originally Posted by Gingersnapsmom

My sons and I love Christmas (we celebrate on Christmas eve and the meal on Christmas day). There are just the 3 of us so I don't have in-laws anymore and my family is apart. This will be the first Christmas in my life without my mother alive so I know I'm going to be crying a few times. She was extremely crafty and made many, many (maybe as many as 20) ornaments for me and the boys--putting them up will be hard. My brother is terminally ill and so this may be his last one...life is very challenging right now. My other brother has become a (rich) selfish a**hole....so....I am just going to cling to my sons and focus on the pretty decorations. It's the long winter afterwards (here in Vermont) that I am truly dreading.

I think that's great that you have the ornaments to remember your mom by. Maybe you could think of them as a blessing of her presence, rather than the fact that she's not there? It might help make it easier, but it is never easy to lose someone. I'm sorry for your brothers. Hopefully you and your family can have a peaceful holiday.

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[GeorgiaGirl413]

Wish it was January 2. Enough said.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by Gingersnapsmom

My sons and I love Christmas (we celebrate on Christmas eve and the meal on Christmas day). There are just the 3 of us so I don't have in-laws anymore and my family is apart. This will be the first Christmas in my life without my mother alive so I know I'm going to be crying a few times. She was extremely crafty and made many, many (maybe as many as 20) ornaments for me and the boys--putting them up will be hard. My brother is terminally ill and so this may be his last one...life is very challenging right now. My other brother has become a (rich) selfish a**hole....so....I am just going to cling to my sons and focus on the pretty decorations. It's the long winter afterwards (here in Vermont) that I am truly dreading.

It will be hard but I think beloiseau is right in saying try to use the ornaments as a memorial to your mom. Sorry about your brother, that has to be challenging. It is already winter here, today was -31*C. We have snow and cold from at least November to April, sometimes longer. I hate living where we do but my husband does a lot of work with the Oil Sands so we need to be living here.

[Trippin2.0]

I have a "no contact" rule with my "brother" (read abuser). So last Christmas he was home for the holidays (he's based in Spain) and I spent the day alone watching movies.

Idk if I'll be alone again this year, ( I haven't asked if he's visiting yet) part of me dreads it because I have to lie to my daughter regarding why I won't join them, but the other part doesn't care much if I spend it infront of my laptop again...

Admittedly, its crappy, not because I don't like being alone, but because EVERYONE knows why I don't join in, yet they all act normal and go gaga over him during the holidays. Fussing, faffing and festivating with him all through the holiday season, and to add insult to injury, they post all the pics online...

Total disregard toward me, unless you count "nothing is stopping you from putting the past behind you and joining us"...

Yeah I went all out and broke the *****Ometer when I heard that one, went from Naturally Creamy***** to Super***** in an instant...

Bf works out of town, so festive season with him is a big fat maybe at this point, but then again, so is the laptop.

Will just wait and see.

[mzunderstood79]

I am so dreading all of the holidays this year because my daddy passed away 2 weeks ago. He loved the holidays when we were all together,

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by mzunderstood79

I am so dreading all of the holidays this year because my daddy passed away 2 weeks ago. He loved the holidays when we were all together,

I know how rough that is, my daddy was the holiday maker too... my heart goes out to you

[Trippin2.0]

Well, I just got confirmation that I will not be spending this Christmas with family either... great.

[gayleggg]

I agree with GeorgiaGirl. Fast forward to Jan 2.

We're still in the hotel, as we can't move til th 28th of December. Financially it was the only thing feasible but holiday wise it's kind of a bummer. Far from a holiday disaster though. I have my boys, the ex has agreed even if she's able to have them some of the holiday that I could have them back for Christmas Eve and Day so that's a big plus, otherwise I'd be alone too.

This will be a good Christmas for us though, since after over 18+ months I'll be getting my first place with my kids, it's a bonus this year. I'm happy about that. Extended family does not appeal to me in any way to spend time with, but thank God they are 3,000 miles away. If anything I only wish I could spend it with some of the friends I've made over the years online. They are my real family anyway.

To me, family isn't the group of people you share genes with but life. After growing up there is nothing shared between my siblings and my family of origin.