Filling the emptiness

Has anyone discovered anything that is constantly effective in filling the emptiness inside? A technique or medication that you were/are on to help you? I'm having difficulty in finding a way to hold back the dark loneliness I feel. I have an overwhelming desire to charge off and see my ex FWB. Since we are just talking like real people the last few weeks I don't want to be seen again, as needy, desperate, or weak. Especially seeing as how shes supposedly happy with her babies father at the moment. Of course, that changes almost daily w her.

I'm not looking for a new woman to take her place. I'm alone, lost, and confused.

I wish I did, looking forward to replies...

Helping others. It gets you out of self and makes u feel pretty good for a bit too. Try it. We are really selfish ppl so its nice to get involved with someone elses crap for once and be of use...

Looking forward to seeing answers too!! I constantly feel empty, which leads to excessive boredom i can't conquer, which leads to bad things lol.

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I am not this hair, I am not this skin. I am the soul that lives within.

Prozac 40mg, Neurontin 400 mg TID, Remeron 45mg

depression, anxiety, borderline, social phobia, ed nos, self injury.

Have you heard, or invested in DBT? It's basically the only thing that truly works, and was made/created for BPD specifically. There's a great DBT workbook by Matthew McKay, Jeffery C. Wood. I think it would be worth a purchase.

Also, I read your other thread about that friend/girlfriend, and if it were me, I'd try to cut her out of your life.

These are just my opinions, they are not suggestions.

I keep hearing about stuff like DBT but, I haven't checked it out yet. I took a bunch of Omega 3s in the form of fish and flax seed oil today after reading that it helps to stabilize the mood swings. I dunno if its that or I'm just more relaxed. Since being diagnosed a week ago, DX depression/anxiety 6+ yrs ago, I've been heavily researching BPD and analyzing the way I've acted and reacted to people and past relationships over the years. If I can conquer this cold/empty feeling I should be able to rationalize more effectively. It seems to always be in flux as it waxes and wanes.

The friend/girlfriend has been w me 4 years in one form or another. She took it upon herself to initiate conversation w me this afternoon. She wants me to see her as a nice and caring person that still has strong feelings for me. After not hardly talking to me for 2 months, then an entire month of short mean terse messages, This last month we are starting to communicate more as rational people. Today was what I see as a big turning point between us. I have an idea about how to continue the momentum to have an even stronger friendship with her. No one else that knows me or knows her likes her. No one has been able to handle her intense mood swings. They gave us problems for the longest time. Learning about my new DX is helping me to get a grip and to come up with creative ways to handle her. Shes like a part of me and I cant just let her go.

I personally believe that the gf situation is added 'drama' that you really don't need right now. I'm not telling you what to do, I just feel that from your posts, this is adding a lot of added stress making it difficult for you to deal with your self.

As far as filling the emptiness, well judging by the description of this disorder, I would say that we all are desparately seeking that answer.

I attend DBT once a week for about 5 months now...I am far from healed at this point, but well into my journey...and I can honestly say it has improved many areas of my life. I feel myself actually in recovery rather than just on this miserable spiral that's out of control.

Lose my arm before I lose her. After the holidays are over I'm going to see about bringing us closer together. I have a really good idea on how to fix us. When shes not sick from her heart condition, I need to see her at work as she keeps asking me to do.

Has anyone found a decent medication they like? I looked at Lithium, Haldol, and Thorazine but, I decided not to try them. same w Depakote and a few others. Our problem is this roller coaster ride of emotion and that emptiness. Maybe together we can all find a better answer.

Some DBT techniques I try using are distracting myself with other tasks, writing about it, calling family and making plans to see people, and action opposite. That basically means that I write down the emotion I'm feeling (for this example, lonely), then I write down the impulse that the emotion makes me want to do (for this example, talk to my ex FWB), then I write down the opposite of that emotion (example, call my mom, volunteer somewhere, etc.), and then you do the opposite of your impulse. This is extremely helpful and is really effective in combating those negative emotions that can lead us to make unhealthy choices. Hope this helps.

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These forums help me a lot. I'm trying to understand how other people carry on their lives. I'm looking for the boundaries that I never saw. I'm trying to be easier with people and not be labelled as coming on too strong. I dont know what constitutes clingy and what doesn't . I know that being with someone I really love fills the emptyness, takes away the pain, and imparts the sweetest joy. I've gone years filling my life with different hobbies, education, anything I could think of as a distraction. I know that many conditions become worse as we age. Is this one of them? For me, this has been an incredibly difficult year. Made even more so by everything I went through with her. I've learned she would hide from me when she was sick, she never wanted me to see her sick. She only ever wanted me to see her with her makeup done, best clothes on, happy. I've got this white knight syndrome. I haven't hardly seen her in 4 months. I just want to be a normal person with a normal relationship.

There are quite a few of us on Abilify, I am also taking Mirtazapine. I started the Abilify in September after and OD and the Mirtazapine in October when I saw my new pdoc. I am also taking Wellbutrin and have been for a couple of years. I am now starting to feel the effects of the new medications. I am much calmer, especially dealing with my son. I do find I have trouble finding words and my brain feeling fuzzy at times.

None of the major reuptake inhibitors worked well for me. I cant be in a fog. Peoples lives rest on my skills, my ability to think critically and quickly. I'm going to research more of the meds out there and see if theres anything else I'd like to try. Thanks for sharing that.

DBT is the only coping method that has worked at all long-term. but ultimately, nothing fills the void constantly.

i was hoping someone would say they found something, anything that works. I've tried so many different things over the years and nothing could sustain me except those short lived happy relationships. My friend, she sustained me. Any time I would falter, feel alone, too stressed, depressed. Any time I wanted to give up on my education or my life, I would remember that she loved me and I needed to at least fight on so I could be with her, stay with her, help her. That when the day was over I might get to spend time with her and all my hardships would be worth it, they'd have meaning. I wouldnt need to keep trying to justify myself, locate my self worth, validate my choices because she did all that for me.

Like someone else said, I find that helping other people helps to fill some of the emptiness in my life. I like to post in forums and in groups on FB, it helps give me a feeling of community, while at the same time allows me to help others and to receive help and support for myself.

Try to find something that you are passionate about, and take steps to make it happen. I recently created a community page on FB and it has really given me a purpose and I find that I have been coming online more and interacting a lot more. I want to help people, and I feel like with my page I am doing that.

Best of luck to you!

~Make your smile change the world; don't let the world change your smile.~

Shining Through Our Shadows - Support For Mental Health

The best I've come up with is a distraction or a hobby. Find something to occupy your mind. It doesn't take away the emptiness, but you tend to forget it's there.

These forums and others like them are really helping me to understand and cope. Something I'm seeing is that its very important for each of us to remain calm. Looking back at different events in my life,I see that was one of my biggest mistakes. If I had remained calm when others melted down then life would have been much smoother. I'm not talking about being a doormat. I'm talking about not flying off the handle when the other person or persons does. I'll continue to try distraction techniques.

That is my biggest issue with my son. If I can remain calm I can get him to calm down but if I lose it then things escalate. It is hard, and I am getting better. There are times my husband hands me my ipod so I can distract myself.

With two exgirlfriends and recently my friend that I love so much and a few other times I see MY mistake was losing control. If I hadnt snapped back, said things I later regretted and just generally kept my anxiety and depression under control I wouldn't be so emotionally damaged now.