[Angel of Bedlam]

So I'm just wondering if anyone feels this way...

I almost constantly hate myself. I feek guilty for every mistake I make and often feel I'm not even worth being loved by anyone. Does anyone else feel this way? If not, how do you learn to love yourself?

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[gayleggg]

Yes, I feel this way and has accumulated my whole life. Haven't found a way to overcome it yet.

[Aventurine]

Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam

So I'm just wondering if anyone feels this way...

I almost constantly hate myself. I feek guilty for every mistake I make and often feel I'm not even worth being loved by anyone. Does anyone else feel this way? If not, how do you learn to love yourself?

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I used to feel this way all the time. I still do but not as intensely as I used to. Now days I only feel real love for myself when I meditate. That requires a lot of practice and dedication and I hated myself cause I sucked at it for a while... My mind is a constant runaway train, one like in the movies where the tracks end over a canyon. But when I see my worth being separate to my own ego, that's when I know I love myself. It is a very fine line..

As long as you hate yourself you will always feel others don't love you either, try not to focus too much on others love and focus on your own (separate to your thoughts) Your true essence lies within and it is always there and loves you very very much., you just need to touch it every now and then..

[Angel of Bedlam]

My thing is it's so hard to slow my brain down to focus on one thing. It's like I can't just focus on one thing, my attention constantly switches from one scary possibility it another. I get so caught up in focusing on failure that I can't focus on good.

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[ScarletPimpernel]

I feel this way too. I try to love myself, sometimes I can, but normally I can't. I usually only love myself through the love/care/words/actions of others. I constantly need validation of myself or my relationships. It's almost like I forget if someone doesn't remind me. It's also why I try to collect objects or letters from people in my life, so I can remind myself if they aren't physically there.

[learningtolive2013]

I think my problem is that on the surface I love myself and I THINK that I love myself but underneath it all I don't think I do very much.. There are days where I feel on top of the world, I feel beautiful and successful and charming... but I think deep down "where it counts" I'm just kidding myself and the "real" me isn't that way.. I feel like the confident, beautiful, successful and charming person is a façade.. I feel like I'm close to it and the only way that has happened was to focus on the positive and the good things I've heard vs. all the bad crap that has been handed to me.. self talk and looking myself in the mirror and telling myself I'm beautiful inside and out until I actually somewhat believed it is how I am getting there :-)

[Malenursefl]

Originally Posted by learningtolive2013

I think my problem is that on the surface I love myself and I THINK that I love myself but underneath it all I don't think I do very much.. There are days where I feel on top of the world, I feel beautiful and successful and charming... but I think deep down "where it counts" I'm just kidding myself and the "real" me isn't that way.. I feel like the confident, beautiful, successful and charming person is a façade.. I feel like I'm close to it and the only way that has happened was to focus on the positive and the good things I've heard vs. all the bad crap that has been handed to me.. self talk and looking myself in the mirror and telling myself I'm beautiful inside and out until I actually somewhat believed it is how I am getting there :-)

What you just said is on the money with how I've always felt. Ive got education, intelligence, I'm told I'm attractive and dress well. All these many good and wonderful attributes but, I feel so depressed and empty inside. The facade you speak of, thats exactly it. People see this confident medical professional on the outside but inside, I'm like a broken child.

[Maranara]

I respect some of what I can do and what I know. I've worked hard to gain an education and I'm quite "book smart", but love myself? Don't think I ever have. I am a victim of my emotions like everyone here, and it hurts, is very degrading, as well as extremely humiliating when they take over my common sense and reason and make me think and act in ways that I know I wouldn't otherwise.

[technigal]

I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. I have tried to love myself but all I hear is my dad telling me how ugly I am, how lazy I am... He has been gone for 7 years and I still hear his voice in my head. I think that until I get over my father I will never be able to love myself.

[IGotThis]

Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam

So I'm just wondering if anyone feels this way...

I almost constantly hate myself. I feek guilty for every mistake I make and often feel I'm not even worth being loved by anyone. Does anyone else feel this way? If not, how do you learn to love yourself?

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Yes, I feel this way as well... I find myself waking up and immediately thinking "who is going to hate me most today after me?" Every little thing I do is wrong, and how could anyone stick with me when I go crazy like this? I'm the ones who is f***ed up, I should just be happy...

I hate feeling this way, but I do...

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by IGotThis

Yes, I feel this way as well... I find myself waking up and immediately thinking "who is going to hate me most today after me?" Every little thing I do is wrong, and how could anyone stick with me when I go crazy like this? I'm the ones who is f***ed up, I should just be happy...

I hate feeling this way, but I do...

Sometimes I can push the thoughts of self-hatred from my head, but the feeling never changes. I want it to go away.

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[Side of the Angels]

Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam

So I'm just wondering if anyone feels this way...

I almost constantly hate myself. I feek guilty for every mistake I make and often feel I'm not even worth being loved by anyone. Does anyone else feel this way? If not, how do you learn to love yourself?

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Isn't that part of this whole gig here? Like, what this illness is? Well, part of it anyway... perhaps just some potential diagnostic criteria. Anyway. Yes... in all things I do. Even at the grocery store, at stop lights, at my kids' school. Always on the lookout for ppl to judge me and be disappointed in me. And I know I have! EVERY where I go i carry the burden of failure with me. I have no solution for you babe, I really dont I am just starting to work on it myself. We are going to be fine doll, we are going to get better, so so so much better. Right...?

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by toolesque

Isn't that part of this whole gig here? Like, what this illness is? Well, part of it anyway... perhaps just some potential diagnostic criteria. Anyway. Yes... in all things I do. Even at the grocery store, at stop lights, at my kids' school. Always on the lookout for ppl to judge me and be disappointed in me. And I know I have! EVERY where I go i carry the burden of failure with me. I have no solution for you babe, I really dont I am just starting to work on it myself. We are going to be fine doll, we are going to get better, so so so much better. Right...?

Yes. Baby steps. I'm trying to think of one thing a day I can say that I like about myself each day. Much harder than it sounds!

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[Maranara]

Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam

Yes. Baby steps. I'm trying to think of one thing a day I can say that I like about myself each day. Much harder than it sounds!

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If you have issues with finding good things about YOU focus on the external a little. What can you do well, what do you know well, what do people ask you for help with? It is a start and those things are often discounted and should count.

[Angel of Bedlam]

Yeah I'm saying things to myself right now like, "I like the way I did my hair today; I like that I forced myself to go to work; I like that I cooked a good meal, etc. I know it's surface stuff, but it's more than I've been able to say to myself in a while.

Today's Affirmation:

I like the control I exerted over my emotions last night and that I was able to be there for my boyfriend during his time of need.

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[Jordy]

I hate myself too most of the time... but it's getting better lately. To me a huge achievement is liking a picture of me in a bathing suit that was taken in the Bahamas last month. A few months ago I would never even had my picture taken, and certainly not bought it... now it's displayed in the living room!

[hawaii04]

I need a fix too . . . guilt, self-hate. I just keep trying to tell myself positive things. The inside remains broken, but it is not all bad, though it sure seems that way all too often. I try to remind myself about the things I do by way of accomplishments, the people I manage to make smile even just at the store, instead of piss off just because I can and I need an outlet, the good in general. It's way too easy to think doom and gloom. Somehow when we screw up it feeds what's already lacking inside of us and it thrives on it. Thus it's what we expect from ourselves, it's somehow the air we breathe, it's a large part of our being. . . it wants to overpower the good in us. I keep telling myself lately that I must choose not to let it win. With conscious uplifting mental notes to ourselves, not always expecting positive feedback, compliments, validation from others. We need to rely on ourselves, for who else can we truly rely? That someone isn't always there and isn't always going to be there. I want the 'freedom' of the security within myself.

[joeyalias]

Identify with every post in this thread.

It is so much easier to hate myself. There are things I like about myself, but they so quickly and easily turn into things I hate about myself.

An example I like to think of myself as intelligent but then I think well if I was that intelligent why cant I stick at one thing and why can I not achieve success.

I think I can be very good with people but then I think, is this just manipulation; I hang on the words of others to a point where its crippling.

I can be so fun and charismatic but then I go too far and too much and embarrass myself in some way, then feel so disgusted and ashamed of myself the next time, convincing myself people think I'm crazy and then acting in a way that either creates these beliefs or confirms them

Originally Posted by Angel of Bedlam

So I'm just wondering if anyone feels this way...

I almost constantly hate myself. I feek guilty for every mistake I make and often feel I'm not even worth being loved by anyone. Does anyone else feel this way? If not, how do you learn to love yourself?

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

I have low self worth a lot of the time but it's not constant. I never fully feel like I'm "much" of anything to be looked at, nor do I ever feel really highly of myself but I have a sort of battle going on constantly because I always have a very positive side of myself to that fights to thwart the efforts of my negative mind.

I think that the idea of loving myself is almost foreign to me. It really is hard to even swallow that phrase. Funny thing, someone says "love yourself" and it almost is like a bitter taste to me. So I guess, yes I do have a hard time with that too.

I have to use all my energy to fight this everyday. Everything that i perceive as possibly negative I have to force myself of other possible causes, outcomes and such.. it's a lot of work!

[lynn808]

I Hate myself and hear my parents all the time telling me I am a failure and how much they hate me and wish I had never been born. It's so hard when my b/f tells me he loves me...I ask him why he does and how he can continue to care about me....He shakes his head and hugs me....I still don't know how anybody can care about me. I feel ashamed and guilty all the time. I try and try, but it gets the best of me too...Try to stay strong and find a positive thing every day....I try this and try to hold onto it daily....My kids love me and say I am the best thing they have in their life....trying to hold on through the holidays too....

* Raises hand.

I have the exact feelings myself.
I don't ever remember loving or even liking myself. Ever.
Most days I think I deserve to die.
Over the years and with the help of a therapist I have become aware of how damaging this is and how it hinders progress in trying to become emotionally stable.
I try to say something good to myself now and then.

I'm working on it. *sigh* :-|

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