[GeorgiaGirl413]

I made it through the week-end without a major meltdown, but just barely. I am not sure I can get through another holiday season. It is all just too much for me, but I don't know what I can do except try and slog through it one more time.

[lynn808]

I wholeheartedly agree. The holiday season puts so much stress on everyone. More stress than BPD people feel we can handle. The inability to focus becomes overwhelming. I feel I can't even go out to shop. All those people....all those expectations. I want to crawl in a corner and stay there..... Try daily to find one thing....just one thing...to help me get through. Hope you are coping. Slog on....

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Think that will be my motto for the month "Slog On!"

[lynn808]

Can I use that too???? Color picture then frame it eh?? Slogging along... My old T used to say fake it until you can make it....kinda slogging along too

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by lynn808

Can I use that too???? Color picture then frame it eh?? Slogging along... My old T used to say fake it until you can make it....kinda slogging along too

I hate that fake it til you make it thing. After 35 years in T I am still faking it. And that's not good for anyone, trust me!!

[lynn808]

I hated that too...seems so fake and used to piss me off to no end.... I like to slog better.... It shows movement...at least hehe

I don't hate the holiday season itself. Right now, I hate where I am in life as it's true, it's not very enjoyable for me. With the things going on it's hard to get into it.

I would ask what it is that causes you to dislike the Holidays though? I mean granted it's a general thing tht many just say "it stresses me out" blah blah blah but that's so vague, it's no wonder people don't find ways to remedy it.

It's no different than any other time of year but just has us dealing with more stressful factors than at other times. Is it people that stress you out? Then don't go to big gatherings, it's your right to say no. Which brings me to a common stressor too. That we may not want to go to gatherings but feel obligated to do so, with also causes stress. Why go? Are you obligated to go see people and sacrifice your own well being to please them and fit into their expectations of what you should do during the holidays? NO. Opt out, and only handle/do what you have the capacity to do.

And this goes for anything during the holidays. Gift giving, gatherings, entertaining people, etc. Do what YOU can do and do what you can endure. Nothing more. You have that right.

Hope this helps.
S4

[lynn808]

S4
You are so right. I am learning to say no. I did opt out of running out for xmas band gig on Sunday and spent my time at home. Felt kinda guilty but what else can I do? Couldn't bear the crowds and the noise and all that hoo-hah...so I stayed away. Am still so tired from Thanksgiving that I have no energy for anything right now.... Still trying to smile... Thanks and take care.

Originally Posted by lynn808

S4
You are so right. I am learning to say no. I did opt out of running out for xmas band gig on Sunday and spent my time at home. Felt kinda guilty but what else can I do? Couldn't bear the crowds and the noise and all that hoo-hah...so I stayed away. Am still so tired from Thanksgiving that I have no energy for anything right now.... Still trying to smile... Thanks and take care.

Good for you, I know it wasn't easy to just opt out either.

[lynn808]

No it wasn't easy and I did feel bad for hours......but I kept myself busy...then had a nice nap. Woke up feeling like I could deal again..... Thanks for the words of encouragement!

[GeorgiaGirl413]

I was so stressed out after T'giving day, then trying to get some decorations up on Friday that I was actually physically sick on Sat and Sun. Even had fever of 101.6 on Sat. And now the real fun begins. Indeed there are some things that you can opt out of, and I have done that. I have a holiday related activity at church next Sat that I WANT to do, and a Christmas Concert on Sunday night (local university's concert choir at the Catholic Church)that I will attend because 1) It is what Christmas is really about, 2) I very much enjoy it and 3) it is FREE!! On the next week-end I will attend my work Christmas Party. Not so much because it is that much fun, but at least I will be able to pick up my little Christmas bonus. Also, my granddaughter will go with me, and we did have a good time last year. I can leave as early as I want so I don't have to get too stressed out.
I quess the real reason I don't like this time of year is just that the expectation level from others is ratcheted up exponetially. Give to operation Christmas Child ($50 spent on that one box), give to Toys for Tots, donate to the church for meal baskets, donate to various other organizations for meal baskets, participate in the secret santa at work (I have said no to that in the past but my T convinced me this year I needed to participate. Can't wait til my visit this week to tell her how effing wrong she was on that one). Then this morning my boss says we are going to take up a collection to do some baskets for clients for Christmas. She thinks we need to "give back to the community" I work for a non-profit. all the f we do is give to the d--m community. Oh, and don't forget, we are expected to fix a dish for the office pot luck (that'll cost me $25 at least) and bring goodies to set out for the client's the week before Christmas. Do I have to participate, no. But you are made to feel quilty if you don't. Also, quite frankly, at this time of year I miss my son the most. Christmas never has been the best time for me, but since his death, well.... My granddaughter is with me now, and even though she is grown, I am trying to make a holiday for her. But I can't do what I want. Not financially or emotionally and it's just hard. I really do try and not let all this overwhelm me. But his year it just seems to be getting the best of me. At least here you all understand and I can vent about it some. Thanks.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by lynn808

I hated that too...seems so fake and used to piss me off to no end.... I like to slog better.... It shows movement...at least hehe

Indeed it does. And hopefully the movement is forward.

[Themeanreds]

I think you are doing great with all the activities you have planned and are involved in! I personally hibernate and seclude myself until the holidays are over. I have been doing this as far back as I can remember, so everyone I know is just used to it. It takes a lot of energy and effort to do what you are doing. More power to you!

[lynn808]

Well I think its great that you are getting out and being active during the holidays. Take time to enjoy those around you who care. Don't try to do too much. Hope you have a great day now....

** SAMES (to the title of your post).

Hate, hate, HATE the phoniness of the season.

[lynn808]

Christmas has changed so much since I was a kid. It used to be about the religious aspect for me as a lil catholic school girl.....but now it is about the almighty buck to be made by the stores and websites and wherever else tries to make money. Is all so tiring.... Maybe I need to go back to the religious part this year. I may find some comfort there. I have stayed away for a long time....hmmmm

[JustForNow!]

I know what you mean. It is not easy. I like the "slogging through" too. It means that you can do it, step by step, a little more, count the minutes you have been doing it and then count the minutes more to go. It works for me.

I had out of town guests and we kept busy enough showing them around the area. But then, had a melt down yesterday in therapy, still out of work today and recovering. That taught me that I cannot slog through for too many minutes/days without some down time. Sit in the corner time, no one talk to me time...ya know?

Lets all slog through together till Jan 2nd!!

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by JustForNow!

I know what you mean. It is not easy. I like the "slogging through" too. It means that you can do it, step by step, a little more, count the minutes you have been doing it and then count the minutes more to go. It works for me.

I had out of town guests and we kept busy enough showing them around the area. But then, had a melt down yesterday in therapy, still out of work today and recovering. That taught me that I cannot slog through for too many minutes/days without some down time. Sit in the corner time, no one talk to me time...ya know?

Lets all slog through together till Jan 2nd!!

I do know. Sloggers of the world, unite!!

[lynn808]

am slogging along....stuck in house alone today with no car or way out...yikes....

[technigal]

Originally Posted by lynn808

am slogging along....stuck in house alone today with no car or way out...yikes....

I am stuck at home today as well. I could go out but it is -30*C again today. I need to go shopping for Sean's presents and so I should go out but we will see.

[Fuzzybear]

[ready2makenice]

I used to love the holidays as a child and every so often,the child tends to come out,but I've also grown to dislike the holidays!! With my ED it's extremely hard to get by.

Everyone else is happy and smiling and enjoying themselves and I'm like damnit I want to be them!! It's not fair!!!

I love watching the little ones get excited and open gifts,but I personally have come to dread it. Plus I don't feel as though I'm in a great place in my life right now.I feel like this year is just going to be like another day for me

[duende]

Ugh. I am totally here too. GeorgiaGirl, I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I can...no, I do totally relate. I know there are so many cliches out there regarding people feeling overwhelmed, anxious, low, [fill in the blank], but know that you're not alone. I hope you try and at least be kind to yourself, because you deserve it completely. And hey, good job in not having a meltdown last weekend.

But yes, hang on. I'll say it again..know you're in good company.

[lynn808]

Slogging along today, but do feel better...My second T visit was really good for me. I think I am getting a team of ppl together who are willing to help me....This is a great thing and I am very encouraged. I will need some surgeries in the future, so I am in need of ppl who care. Scared but hopeful. Hope you all have nice weekend!!!! Hugs for all

[GeorgiaGirl413]

It's getting worse and worse for me. This week-end was beyond awful. Not at all sure I can keep it going.