[Wingnut13]

Well,there we all were sitting around the table at Christmas dinner. My 2 boys and 2 grandkids and my adoptive family. Everybody eating and talking and there I sat staring at my food. I was screaming inside my head "HELP ME". But instead I put on a front like nothing is wrong. Struggling to think of something to add to the conversation at the same time I just wanna find a place to hide. Just feel so out of place. Maybe I should start taking the meds my doc prescribed(elavil 50mg). But I hate taking pills. But what do I hate more,the pills or feeling so depressed?

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way. I totally can relate. My daughter just asked me if I was okay today. I've been trying to hide this deep depression but I guess it still shows on my face. And the fact that I'm in bed planted in front of the television. I hope your depression clears very soon. Hang in there!

[penny candy]

Originally Posted by Wingnut13

Well,there we all were sitting around the table at Christmas dinner. My 2 boys and 2 grandkids and my adoptive family. Everybody eating and talking and there I sat staring at my food. I was screaming inside my head "HELP ME". But instead I put on a front like nothing is wrong. Struggling to think of something to add to the conversation at the same time I just wanna find a place to hide. Just feel so out of place. Maybe I should start taking the meds my doc prescribed(elavil 50mg). But I hate taking pills. But what do I hate more,the pills or feeling so depressed?

Hello! I know what you mean about screaming inside. I do that all the time. Why were you screaming, if you don't mind my asking? do you hate telling others how you REALLY feel? I do. HUGS

[Wingnut13]

Originally Posted by penny candy

Hello! I know what you mean about screaming inside. I do that all the time. Why were you screaming, if you don't mind my asking? do you hate telling others how you REALLY feel? I do. HUGS

Yes I do hate telling others how I really feel. Afraid people wont like me. Don't want people to know how sensitive I am. It's like that song "Nobody Hears" by Suicidal Tendencies says,"I'm sitting here screaming inside myself,don't understand why nobody hears". HUGS

I feel ya, I'm not too big on pills myself. Especially not after a history of abusing them along with street drugs.
but sometimes psych meds can really help a lot. It's north a try, you can always stop if you don't like the effects.