[facingdemons]

I'm sorry for posting again today, but I just have a quick question.

I read in a recent post, a few of you talking about how we communicate better when writing things down then when talking. Is this common with BPD? I have always used writing to communicate, especially when I'm concerned about someone's reaction. I am SO much better at putting my thoughts into words on paper. I'm a whole lot braver in writing.

[Bubbles&Buttercup]

Well I didn't realise this was something I did, or that it was strange until I read your post!
I definitely do it, there have been so many times when I'm with someone and really want to discuss something but just can't make myself do it, yet once I'm away from them I'm perfectly able to express myself clearly and with a lot less fear if I send it in a message.

I also find it easier to get my feelings across on here in writing than I would if I was saying it to someone in person. Who knows if it's a BPD thing or a general confidence thing with everyone in life though...

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by facingdemons

I'm sorry for posting again today, but I just have a quick question.

I read in a recent post, a few of you talking about how we communicate better when writing things down then when talking. Is this common with BPD? I have always used writing to communicate, especially when I'm concerned about someone's reaction. I am SO much better at putting my thoughts into words on paper. I'm a whole lot braver in writing.

Yes! I think writing gives us time to think before we speak- something not just BPD people need.

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[youwillrise]

writing is big for me. i have a hard time communicating through spoken word...usually if i have to talk to someone about something important, i write it down and study it first...if im able to (without feeling like a cop out), ill send an email or text or some other written thing to get the convo started and as many of my ideas out as i can...i also try to cover any questions i think the person may ask, so if we have to follow up, it doesnt have to be a long convo...i tend to lose my words, stutter, get really nervous when i have to talk. even in my job (early childhood), i have to talk to parents when they pick up their children and im going over those words in my head over and over and over...practicing before they get there...because i cant stop to write everything i want to say to each parent, i end up with a bunch of things that play repeatedly in my brain. im probably just babbling now //end

[Maranara]

I was taught from a young age to not talk about personal problems. On many occasions, the written word is the only way I can effectively communicate.

[Jordy]

I feel the same... actually in two years with my T, I'm for the first time considering giving her a letter. Not sure if or when I will yet... I see her twice for the DBT skills group, before our next one on one session. I might gice it to her at the end of the second skills group, so I only have for 4 days to stress over it instead of 10...

[beloiseau]

I definitely can get my thoughts out better on paper, or after thinking about them for a while.

[lynn808]

Originally Posted by Maranara

I was taught from a young age to not talk about personal problems. On many occasions, the written word is the only way I can effectively communicate.

yes this is true...how we were taught not to speak of such things.. Never to tell others what was going on in our lives and in our house.. I think that's why I write better than I talk to people. I feel my people skills do suck. Also think that's why I love animals....no speaking and pure understanding...hmmm

It's definitely true for me. I started out in therapy just taking stuff I'd written, and I still do sometimes. And if there are things I know I have to tell someone then I tend to write it rather than speak it.