[Truth in Ruin]

Now that you have, or are learning that you have the right to tell others "no", does it make you feel empowering when you do?

nope. Makes me feel like shiat to say no to anyone Well maybe I'm doing it wrong...

[Truth in Ruin]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

nope. Makes me feel like shiat to say no to anyone Well maybe I'm doing it wrong...

Dang, that sucks.

Originally Posted by Truth in Ruin

Dang, that sucks.

it does, usually.

[hawaii04]

It's verrrry uncomfortable . . . still. It has its benefits in guiding/keeping my sanity at times is all. So, empowering, notta.

[technigal]

Gotta agree with the others, saying "no" is uncomfortable and not something I like doing.

[Truth in Ruin]

Thanks for the insight guys. If you don't mind me asking, what is it that makes you feel so uncomfortable? I mean, is it like if you say "no" to other people, you feel that they will leave, or abandon you in away?... or something like that?

Idk about them leaving, it's more that I tend to always be the submissive one in most situations. I go along with others with a lot of things.

[Truth in Ruin]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

Idk about them leaving, it's more that I tend to always be the submissive one in most situations. I go along with others with a lot of things.

Ohhh, I think I get it now. Thanks S4

[technigal]

I was always taught that saying "no" was a bad thing.

[Espresso]

I can't usually say no because it feels like I'm disappointing the person, even if it's something extremely trivial.

[hawaii04]

I am afraid of feeling like less of a person, less loved and as though I let someone else down or rejected them, their idea, etc. No = negative, so that leads me to asking myself why a negative person has such a hard time with saying no? Hmmmmm
As a child, if I was told to do something, NO was never a choice response to my parents...

[30ish]

Originally Posted by Truth in Ruin

Thanks for the insight guys. If you don't mind me asking, what is it that makes you feel so uncomfortable? I mean, is it like if you say "no" to other people, you feel that they will leave, or abandon you in away?... or something like that?

I'm less uncomfortable saying no now that I was when I first started. I did feel like I was going to be abandoned and especially by my mother. Any time there was a disagreement between us, instead of staying and talking it out she would leave the room. I thought that one day I would say no and she would leave my life indefinitely. So I never challenged her and that same mentality poured into my other relationships.

When I stood up to her I had had enough. I didn't want to feel like a slave to everyone elses needs and wants but ignore my own. "I have the right to choose so why can't I choose?" I thought to myself... not anymore.

Now, when I choose to say no, I share my position as to why I won't/can't do something or I bargin with the person ie: I can/am willing to this but you will have be responsible for the other... something like that. Its still a work in progress...