[monochromatic]

Hi all,

I am diagnosed Bipolar II (since august) and have been posting on the bipolar board, but lately I've been feeling like my diagnosis just doesn't fit. I know no one here is a doctor, and I'm getting a new pdoc in a couple weeks (insurance change) but I'd just love some input from you.

I've gone through a lot of medical turmoil. About 2 years ago was diagnosed depressive/anxiety and put on effexor. Effexor worked for a little while, then turned me into a wreck. Crying at the drop of a hat, super sensitive and highly emotional, suicidal thoughts, totally unsettled. Diagnosed Biplolar II, pdoc thought effexor was making me rapid cycle/mixed state. So I spent 6 months weaning off, and felt myself calming down, and I'm now on Lamotrigine, which is making my moods a little easier to bounce back from, but not any less present.

So currently, I'm up and down maybe 5 or 6 times a day. I try to keep a mood journal to figure out my bipolar cycles, but I swear I cannot find a pattern. Every low or high is directly related to something external, and not just random. Sunlight hits my face, I feel euphoric. Someone passes me on the street and I feel judged, I tank. Boyfriend holds my hand, the world is wonderful! Doesn't listen when I say something, Omg I have to break up with him now. It's absolutely exhausting.

I don't have excessive anger (although I get internal "bursts" of it when I feel rejected). I don't SH. And I'm very practical and reflective, able to see when I've done something that was irrational.

I don't know. I just feel lost. Can anyone relate?

Thanks.

[monochromatic]

Oh, I don't think I was clear. I am currently diagnosed Bipolar II, but I'm really thinking it might be borderline. Just based on what I'm reading.

[lynn808]

Hey mono,
Not everyone fits into neat little categories ever......I was diagnosed depressed...then PTSD, the bi-polar for 15 yrs...this BPD just came on October in the hospital. Sometimes it seems you don't fit square pegs into round holes....but we all suffer and fight back daily...... Am glad you are looking at all kinds of things and are willing to learn... Good luck on your search for wellness. have a relaxing evening and a hopeful and prosperous new year...hugs

[IndieVisible]

I am bipolar 1 with psychosis and for about 3 months was convinced I was BPD instead of BP1. Kind of embarrassing but I guess it's not so uncommon as I have a long history of denying my diagnosis. Any way how I finally got out of it was to examine my history. Realizing that I can go for periods of weeks, months and some times years at baseline. Also, I believe I was indeed stuck in a mixed episode during my BPD days lol. I tend to get delusional at times and well, long story short was convinced I was BPD+NPD!

What I suggest is to look at the big picture. Retrace your own history going back as far as you can. One of the main differences between BP and BPD is the duration of mood swings. Also with BPD it's usually going to be depressed, irritable, angry and baseline. And you can cycle thru all that in hours each day. Even in my most rapid mixed states, my moods tend to last much longer and also accompanied by some level of delusions. Also I get very elevated to a point of feeling like I had some cocaine.

Also I did lack some key signature traits of BPD, no abandonment issues, no SI, no splitting. Also I really have not had much trouble in relationships. My current one I've been with the same woman for 15 years.

I don't know what you are, but am advising you to look at the bigger picture, it may help you too. I been struggling with my diagnosis since 1989. It's easy to focus on some other illness and say, "yup that's me" without looking at the bigger picture.

Good luck to you!

[technigal]

One thing you might want to do while waiting for your new pdoc appointment is to do some of the quizzes on here. I scored really, really high on BPD and fairly low for bipolar.

I don't SH either but have 8/9 criteria, you only need to meet 5 of them.

Good luck in finding what diagnosis fits best.

[facingdemons]

I was previously diagnosed BP 1, and then a week ago told that I had likely been mis-diagnosed and actually had BPD. My psych told me today that BPD is hard to accurately diagnose, and that it varies tremendously from one person to the next. He said that I meet the diagnostic criteria for BPD, but might also have some bipolar issues. From what I understand, it's not a cut and dry science.

What you've described sounds more like BPD than BP to me, but I am certainly not a doctor and I've really only recently done a lot of research on BPD.

Good luck with your new doc. I hope you find some answers

[monochromatic]

Were any of you on meds that weren't doing anything for your BPD?

What changed once you got your correct diagnosis, besides feeling much more sane?

I'll look into those quizzes - thanks!

And truly, thank you all. Even if I don't get diagnosed BPD I'll probably stick around here.

[facingdemons]

Originally Posted by monochromatic

Were any of you on meds that weren't doing anything for your BPD?

What changed once you got your correct diagnosis, besides feeling much more sane?

I'll look into those quizzes - thanks!

And truly, thank you all. Even if I don't get diagnosed BPD I'll probably stick around here.

I have been on 24 different meds to try and tread BP. Sometimes they would work for a short time, but after a few months they would start to be less effective and the doc would change them again. I have been unmedicated for 6 months now, and today my new psych did prescribe one medication to try. He told me that there are no meds that treat BPD as a whole, but that some medications can help with specific symptoms. For me, we're working on the depression and anxiety right now.

Have you read the 9 criteria of BPD? If you haven't you should Google the list and see how many fit you.
Either way, it's worth talking over with your new doc. BPD is sometimes misdiagnosed as Bipolar.
I find that an SSRI was good for me, but Lexapro not Effexor. Effexor did nothing for me.
Best of luck.

[monochromatic]

Is DBT supposed to be more affective than meds anyway?

[technigal]

Originally Posted by monochromatic

Is DBT supposed to be more affective than meds anyway?

Yes, meds can only treat certain symptoms (depression, anxiety, etc) while DBT gives you coping skills. If you want more information on DBT a good website is DBT Self Help