[Contrabanned]

I'm wondering if/which events in my life could have started my bpd. Ever since I started School at the age of 5 I was violently bullied (mostly due to being overweight and generally awkward) and I was involved in tons of violent incidents (mostly as the victim) up until I was 15, where I beat the crap out of some kid for punchimg me in a PE lesson. I was an outcast throughout, and I had literally no friends until I was 11 (even then they were other assorted outcast types). Then there is the fact that I have never had a good relationship with my parents. Me and my mum have never seen eye to eye on anything whatsoever, and I also remember overhearing an argument when I was 5 where she said she had wanted to het rid of me but Dad stopped her. Since then, I have never trusted her. When it comes to my Dad, we used to get on when he was sober... He was an alcoholic til I was 12 and my sister was born. Now he is an angry, hypocritical, unemployed xenophobe (which especially is hypocritical seeing as neither of is parents were born in this country). Then when I was 13 I started having doubts about my sexuality. Now I'm openly bisexual and bloody proud of it, but back then it was hell, especially seeing as I was 1) trying to be religious (despite my atheist upbringing) 2) Trying to fit in a hool (this was especially jarring as gay was the go to word for anything negative. It made me think it was he most terrible thing in the planet). Then I had a blood clot. This totally destroyed any remnants of a relationship ith my mum because she told me to wait until the next week to see doctor (despite me not being able to walk, and my Dad nearly dying of a clot a few years before). I ignored her and got my gran to take me to hospital. The doctor there said that if I had listened to my m there was a very good chance I could have died. This absolutely crushed me, and suddenly made me aware of my own mortality. In e 3 years since then my grades went down from A's-B's to anything between B-U, I only just just passed my GCSEs, dropped out of sixth form, started taking Class A drugs, Fallen out with most of my friends, and totally not helped myself.

Sorry to rant so much, but my question is do you think any of the cra in my life could have triggered my BPD / OCD? Rant over.

Oh my daze it feels good to vent.

[Contrabanned]

Sorry for any typos, I'm typing this on my phone

[Maranara]

BPD is largely caused by our upbringing. We are taught that our thoughts and feelings don't amount to much or that we have no business having feelings in the first place. Many of us were abused, neglected, or bullied in school, so my answer is a definite yes.

Welcome to PC. I hope you find the support you need here.

[Contrabanned]

Originally Posted by Maranara

BPD is largely caused by our upbringing. We are taught that our thoughts and feelings don't amount to much or that we have no business having feelings in the first place. Many of us were abused, neglected, or bullied in school, so my answer is a definite yes.

Welcome to PC. I hope you find the support you need here.

Thank you.

I have heard that BPD is related to PTSD, so I wondered what other people's opinions on that were.

[Maranara]

Originally Posted by Contrabanned

Thank you.

I have heard that BPD is related to PTSD, so I wondered what other people's opinions on that were.

Not all, but quite a few of us have PTSD. I do.

[technigal]

I agree with Maranara.

Welcome to PC, the people here are very supportive and full of knowledge.

[beloiseau]

I agree too, it sounds like your difficult upbringing could have definitely contributed. I'm so sorry that you had to go through that, but I'm glad that you are seeking help now!