[aleej28]

I've been diagnosed with major depressive disorder for the last 5 years but over the summer after an inpatient stay (voluntary) I got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. The crap part is no one at the hospital talked to me about this, I didn't even know they wrote this down as a diagnosis until I saw my therapist a week later. I'm really scared this has branded me for life. I have had two very rocky and rough relationships (as typical) and my last one I just woke up after two years together and decided I was done. I didn't even feel bad about it and that terrifies me. Just venting I guess, I really don't know how to cope with this

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[beloiseau]

You're in the right place to learn more about it and to try to learn some better coping skills. You're not alone. Don't think of it as being branded for life, think of it as getting the right diagnosis to get the proper help and treatment.

My first relationship, we broke up and I was totally fine, going on dates three days later. Which terrified me about myself in a way. Last relationship I can't get over and it's been about 8 months.

[technigal]

Originally Posted by beloiseau

You're in the right place to learn more about it and to try to learn some better coping skills. You're not alone. Don't think of it as being branded for life, think of it as getting the right diagnosis to get the proper help and treatment.

I tried to respond earlier and could just not get the words out that I wanted. The above is exactly what I was trying to write. I look at my diagnosis as a way to get the treatment that is finally going to work for me.

[aleej28]

I've been very counter active in treatment and medications, I'm sporadic in taking them but my resolution this year was to end all that. I started dating my best friend of 3 years and it terrifies me that I might wake up one day and want to get rid of him like I did my last two. Last times I lost a boyfriend, but this time I'd lose my best friend too

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[aleej28]

Anyway, I started taking my medicine religiously the first week of January, they put me on a combination of zoloft and risperidone as of December (this is like the 5th different combination we've tried) and I still feel so crummy. I got really weepy today too which I know is normal but it made me feel terrible

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[technigal]

Originally Posted by aleej28

I started dating my best friend of 3 years and it terrifies me that I might wake up one day and want to get rid of him like I did my last two. Last times I lost a boyfriend, but this time I'd lose my best friend too

I was in an "all men are scum" phase (had just broken up with someone I thought I would marry) when I met my husband. I did NOT want to go out with him, I wanted nothing to do with him, 13 years later... And my husband is my best friend, probably why we have lasted through everything.

[lynn808]

Originally Posted by aleej28

Anyway, I started taking my medicine religiously the first week of January, they put me on a combination of zoloft and risperidone as of December (this is like the 5th different combination we've tried) and I still feel so crummy. I got really weepy today too which I know is normal but it made me feel terrible

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Good for you for complying with your meds....always a step in the right direction...then they can fine tune the meds as needed... My pdoc adjusted my meds and gave me mild sleepy time meds to help. I have had a better time since then. I am hopeful now that the holiday pressure is gone. The weepy day is an adjustment day, I have always felt...and I think we need then occasionally just to adjust again and maybe have a mental health day. Hope you keep up the fight and do find a way to relax and rest too...take care

[aleej28]

Thank you lynn, I know part of bpd is sometimes just trying to remember that these bad days will eventually start to get better, it just always sucks when it gets bad again.

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