[Questforinnerpeace]

I am spinning spinning spinning right out of control. This recovered alcoholic wants a straight bottle of whiskey. Or if she can't have that, she wants to smash her head into a wall repeatedly.

How can I find comfort when there is nobody in my life who can comfort me? I am all alone. The only 2 people I love, my 2 little boys, are gone from me for the next several weeks. In the morning I am leaving once again for the mental hospital, this time for treatment of my eating disorder. I am scared, so scared, that it is going to do nothing for me. All the hate, the futile rage, is still going to be there. I will be away for at least 3 months. What for? Am I doing the right thing? My only solace is that they use DBT as part of their therapy. God, I hope it helps. Saying good-bye to my boys today was heartbreaking. I am still sobbing, and it has been over an hour since they were torn from me. If I could have anything at all in this world, it would be not to feel this way...

Damn me. I hate being this way.

[kaliope]

I am so sorry that you are struggling so much right now. I am glad that you know to use your dbt skills. I find they are very helpful also. I am also glad that you are getting help for yourself. I hope you find the coping skills necessary to bring peace to your life.

[lynn808]

Quest....I am sorry for your parting pains with the kids.....they will continue to love you for the rest of you life...I can attest to that...that happened with my two kids....the unconditional love that children have will sustain you through this next couple of months... am so glad to hear you are taking care of other health issues....good for you....also so glad to hear the DBT is available during all this....in years when the kids grow up...they will remember this short time passing only.....take this time to heal yourself and come out on the other side of this part of your journey...know that I will root for you daily in your search for inner peace....may you pick up the pieces and put them together in a way that will work for you!!!! hugs for the day and wishes that you are well and fighting too!!!!! hugs!!

[tohelpafriend]

Originally Posted by Questforinnerpeace

I am spinning spinning spinning right out of control. This recovered alcoholic wants a straight bottle of whiskey. Or if she can't have that, she wants to smash her head into a wall repeatedly.

How can I find comfort when there is nobody in my life who can comfort me? I am all alone. The only 2 people I love, my 2 little boys, are gone from me for the next several weeks. In the morning I am leaving once again for the mental hospital, this time for treatment of my eating disorder. I am scared, so scared, that it is going to do nothing for me. All the hate, the futile rage, is still going to be there. I will be away for at least 3 months. What for? Am I doing the right thing? My only solace is that they use DBT as part of their therapy. God, I hope it helps. Saying good-bye to my boys today was heartbreaking. I am still sobbing, and it has been over an hour since they were torn from me. If I could have anything at all in this world, it would be not to feel this way...

Damn me. I hate being this way.

got Jesus? God can deliver you from your addictions...I've seen it happen over and over.....try to get yourself into a deliverance ministry even if you are not spiritual. I don't mean to intrude, but my heart went out to you on that post which I happened to read next time. Peace, "help."

[littlebitlost]

As another addict, DONT. You want what booze gives you - escape. Hope you're ok xxx