[atomicc]

I'm feeling pretty crappy right now. I hate when you reach out to someone and they ignore you. It hurts far more for us than other people. I feel not good enough. I don't know what's wrong with me that people don't want to just talk and have me as a friend..I'm nice.

[pegasus]

It's their loss! Hugs

[Frankbtl]

Hi, I know that can really hurt. But I'd say you should really commend yourself for reaching out and putting yourself on the line so to speak. That takes strength.
Now if whoever you reached out to ignored you, well maybe count it as their loss. And perhaps they aren't the person you thought they were so at least you got to find that out. You wouldn't want just anyone to talk and be a friend would you? So best off without that person?
But you tried, good on you!! Just remember not everyone will be the same, and there ARE people who are going to like you for you. Don't give up!!
Alison

[Fuzzybear]

You're better off without that person . Hugs to you friend ((((( Allie ))))))

Originally Posted by atomicc

I'm feeling pretty crappy right now. I hate when you reach out to someone and they ignore you. It hurts far more for us than other people. I feel not good enough. I don't know what's wrong with me that people don't want to just talk and have me as a friend..I'm nice.

theyre loss ur a nice girl from what ave spoke to n uve helped me alot already xxxxx

[Shadow_wolf500]

I'd get to know you atomic :0)

[lynn808]

Their loss
good that you found out who is true to you.
I would love to have a friend like you...I find you to be funny, honest, caring, smart, and true to yourself and so much more........things people in this world need more of.....stay true to yourself...I will be your friend anytime...and I will watch your back hun....keep fighting...you are a good heart and a good soul!!!!!! hugs

[technigal]

Originally Posted by lynn808

Their loss
good that you found out who is true to you.
I would love to have a friend like you...I find you to be funny, honest, caring, smart, and true to yourself and so much more........things people in this world need more of.....stay true to yourself...I will be your friend anytime...and I will watch your back hun....keep fighting...you are a good heart and a good soul!!!!!! hugs

I agree with Lynn. I missed you when you were gone, I noticed immediately that you were not posting.

[HD7970GHZ]

Hey Atomicc,

It's been awhile! I hope things are going well for you.

From my sub-30 years of experience - I've seen MANY people come and go in my life. Thing that bothered me the most was, 'the thought,' that it was entirely my fault... In fact: for a time - that became a reality for me. I fully believed it was me that led people to run away and not talk to me till years later. Looking back, however, I realized there were many reasons why they have come and gone - and in delving into the past - I've discovered that very few of those reasons - ever have to do with me, primarily.

People, "typically," (though not always) associate themselves with each-other, because they have something to offer one another - that: AT THE TIME: is beneficial to both people. Given that TIME is CHANGE and we can never run away from it - we can expect those around us to change with time - and thus, our relationships with others changes as well... It's kind of like a rebound relationship - something that happen more often than not - following a long and fruitful relationship. Relationships are like family dynamics - there's always more to a relationship than what we have control over - and sometimes - it's just the way it is and there's nothing we can do to change it. Sometimes our best chance of having a great relationship is just to, "let," it happen - instead of trying to, "change," it to our liking...

From my experience - if a friendship is meant to happen - it will happen. Perhaps what determines if a relationship will work (for us borderlines): relies more heavily on whether or not the other person is able to understand and empathize with our specific, human experiences... Yet at the same time: perhaps it has more to do with circumstance and timing more than the judgments that may or may not follow in the footsteps - of any anguish we share with others...

I've got more failed friendships and relationships in the past than I can count... But truly - we all do, some of us just don't let it bother us - thus, we forget about it all and move on like water off a ducks back... Unfortunately, that is harder said than done. For us Borderline's: it's easy to feel abandoned and to blame when people don't stick around for years and years... But honestly - it's just life. Things change, people move on - our circle of friends may be completely different later in life from what it was in the beginning...

I'll bet you - that just about any fellow Borderline would befriend you if they met you in person. Primarily because they would feel the same way. There's a reason why the phrase, "Birds of a feather flock together..." This is a good place to experience it - because in all honesty - the positive feelings that others send to you on this forum, and that you send back - (despite all being anonymous) - are very real indeed. So remind yourself - that there ARE people out there - who can fully empathize with your feelings, your worries, your anxieties... It's just not so easy to find them..

What I'm trying to say is: If someone is unable to meet your expectations as a friend, or as a lover, or as a confidant' - it's because they are unable to meet those expectations. It can be looked as a bad thing - seeing how you shared such personal experiences and were left abandoned and alone, most likely without an explanation... But truthfully - it's a blessing in disguise - since not all people are even close to being capable of listening to and or understanding the emotions and thought processes that we go through. Unfortunately those kinds of friends are extremely hard to find - it's literally like a needle in a haystack - but I'll tell you what: in order to keep all my closest friends: I have to restrain myself from telling them my most personal experiences, emotions and thoughts... And it's extremely hard to resist the urge to share with others whom we feel can understand and cope with the things that we deal with daily... But it's something that requires time and patience... Setting personal boundaries with yourself and with others... Sometimes choosing NOT to tell someone something personal (despite all the urges for wanting to) can lead to better relationships with others... Even if it means that (in our worst times) we are left alone - to deal with our problems... In retrospect, that may seem like the end of the world (being alone and left to deal with things by ourselves), but it's the start to a more secure foundation for ourselves - and someday - hopefully, maybe, we won't rely so heavily of having others nearby to help us get back on our feet - and instead: we will be fully able and willing and even in favor: of picking ourselves up, by our-self...

The important thing here to remind yourself of - is that you're trying. You're obviously in need of a relationship with someone that suits your needs for emotive expression and perhaps comfort and dependency when things get rough... That is not absurd in the least. That is normal. However, in light of what we're all talking about - it is ALSO normal - that finding that kind of 'special' relationship - is often times: the hardest thing to do in life. It's like true love - some people find it, some people don't. Friendships work the same way - sometimes you find it, sometimes you don't. But like I said : the important thing is that you're trying. Because at this point in time, that is all you can do. No matter how painful it is - you'll learn something from each attempt and each success... The important thing is - you keep trying - because you: are worth it.

Look forward to hearing from ya!

Thanks,
HD7970GHZ

[atomicc]

Mags & Lynn, Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean so much to me and I missed you guys too! You are both definitely my friends.

HD7970GHZ: Thank you so much for what you said, it makes a lot of sense and was helpful. It is so hard to find a good friend, I have an amazing boyfriend and one good friend but neither of them can understand a lot of the issues and pain I struggle with and I feel awful burdening them with all my emotions. I guess I shouldn't try to burden anyone any way. I should just keep it to myself.