[henrydavidtherobot]

and she's awesome. But I know that tomorrow will bring crippling anxiety. Why is it so hard to be myself and be normal?

I'm scared

I can't do life if I can't learn to trust and be OK with me. I'm moving across the world soon. Often, I just want to hide, but I try to be healthy and not do so.

What can I do? Advice?

[janesmith14]

I think that if this person is truely "awesome" then they will love and appreciate you for who you are, which means that if you share a piece of yourself with them, they will still care about you. Everyone wants to feel loved and needed and finding others to connect with is so important. I think it was brave of you to open yourelf up to someone else instead of keeping your true self locked up. Try not to worry about this! I hope you find happiness in your new home!

[Fuzzybear]

I completely agree! if this person is awesome they will love you and appreciate you, and never betray your trust

Originally Posted by janesmith14

I think that if this person is truely "awesome" then they will love and appreciate you for who you are, which means that if you share a piece of yourself with them, they will still care about you. Everyone wants to feel loved and needed and finding others to connect with is so important. I think it was brave of you to open yourelf up to someone else instead of keeping your true self locked up. Try not to worry about this! I hope you find happiness in your new home!

[henrydavidtherobot]

I agree. The risk is scary. But thank you for reminding me that I'm doing the right thing.

[Painting w/t Soul]

Hi Henrydavidtherobot

I hope you made a truly amazing friend ^^ with a strong self-image and a genuine interest & connection. Just wanted to share something from my experience which seems to ring true.

I have often found that comparing myself to any form of a 'normal' presents a dangerous president. It presents a very negative cycle where we are already separating ourselves from others, actually making relating with others even more difficult.

If we act as an individual within the frame of this 'normal', we may achieve this goal, but in reality there is no concept like 'normal'.So what are we actually achieving? We are building relationships on a false framework and eventually might feel disconnected and lose trust in people, because for some reason they just can't seem to relate to who we really are.But are we allowing them to really know us?

We are all people with amazing personalities and interests, not to be valued against some measure.Getting to know the true intricacies of a single other person is one of the most amazing & rewarding things you can be a part of. Unfortunately many people struggle with the concept of self-image (a journey everyone undertakes) and you may see them as almost mutable when they get into a group setting, their own version of the false framework.

Why are there always those people in a group setting you immediately seem to resonate with/away from? They are usually the people comfortable with themselves and don't have to use a framework. They seem easier to relate with because they are already showing you who the are, so with every action where you are able to share the true you with them, you feel more attached because you are forming genuine connections and we may become self-conscious about the act later based on our previous experiences...should I rather have shown them the framework, because if they reject it, it wasn't really me or will they reciprocate the connection to the true self you showed them ? There is however a simple truth, you already made a genuine connection, the thing you are now anxious about and if either of you decide to continue or stop further connection, you are free to do so and it could be because of a multitude of reasons.You are still you and had an amazing experience, because you were able to be you and you always will be.

I hope this gives your soul a bit of peace. The ramblings of a someone swimming in the deep end

[bpdtransformation]

I used to do this with people, always suspecting or expecting that they would turn bad. I had to train myself over time to really observe what I was projecting into them. Eventually, I became able to separate my (false) expectations from what usually happened.

In this case, it's likely that this person genuinely liked you and wants to stay in contact. However, if one is not comfortable with intimacy and opening up to another person, that can feel threatening. The fear of intimacy is another reason why one can sometimes project unrealistically negative expectations into another person, because it serves to distance them from you and to make you feel safe from disappointment or hurt in case they turn out bad. However, if you practice it, being intimate and close is kind of like weight-lifting - you can build a little bit of strength at a time and eventually get much better at it. Good luck!

[henrydavidtherobot]

BPD, I really needed to hear that. Thank you.