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#1
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It's my birthday today I have some people coming over tonight but all I want to do is nix the entire idea. I'm pretty sure none of them really wanted to come anyways honestly. I think my girlfriend is the only reason two of the three are coming at all. It's a rough time for me my grandmother passed on the 20 th of this month. All I want to do is hide away till it's over. I feel like there's pressure building up inside me like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I got a package from my family with pictures that just made me miss them even more. I think I just want to fade away. Sorry for whining to you guys I just don't have anyone to talk to tried to talk to the other half last night but she's convinced I just need a f*** you switch so I've felt like this since I went to bed last night. Just can't shake it....
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The past is history, the futures a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. |
![]() Fuzzybear, Verity81
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#2
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![]() I have felt like a pressure cooker today. Like I am going to burst and panic, sob and scream. Happy Birthday btw Maybe take some time to chill out by yourself if you can. Doing something you enjoy or that soothes you as a birthday gift to yourself.
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Verity ![]() ![]() |
![]() Shadow_wolf500
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![]() Shadow_wolf500
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#3
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Quote:
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#4
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Thank you will try. I'm attempting to read but can't seem to keep my thoughts from going into this void. But will try. Appreciate the happy birthday truly thank you.
__________________
The past is history, the futures a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. |
#5
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Happy Birthday!
![]() The 20th is a hard day for me as well, my dad died that day. ![]()
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Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
![]() Shadow_wolf500
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![]() Shadow_wolf500
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#6
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Awe sad to hear that. Yeah it's a hard time for myself and my family ( yours too as well it seems). It's been a series of events recently that's put me where I'm at. I lost a bunch of family just this last January and between everyone else I lost and with my old friends avoiding me like I have the plague I'm just all out of sorts. I even deleted my Facebook, thought about leaving this forum even. And all I want to do is just cry. But anytime I show emotion or even give my opinion ( even about trivial stuff like disliking this food) The people I'm living with treat me like I'm being childish. So I can't really express any emotions or opinions where I'm at. I'm being blamed for things that I didn't of all the time. I got even roused out of bed by my gf screaming madre because the house was cold and she was convinced I had left the front door uncovered to intentionally freeze her to death( it was actually her son who went to work at five in the morn. And that is doooo not like me) So I've been thinking about inpatient care for a little bit but the gf her name is amber doesn't seem to think I even need counciling ( although she says I can) unfortunaly Utah has very little help with that anyways. I went on a hike two days ago ( no intention to return) but here I still am and unable to express my thoughts or opinions. The whole town I think thinks I'm nuts and tonight I have to gather myself together smile and play birthday party. Tom people will be mad because I have people coming over ( even though it's been preplanned and it was fine) and I'll hear about it for three or four days. ( same thing happened after I went to see my family for a week and I heard about it for soo long after we got back to where I'll not visit them again till after I move out. I just think I'm freaking out and I don't think I can do it.
Thank you techno girl appreciate it and you
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The past is history, the futures a mystery, and today is a gift. That is why it is called the present. |
#7
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One of my really good friends growing up lived next door to me and used to call me "the nut next door", I don't think she was far off the mark as I often feel as I am crazy. So I get the "everyone thinks I am nuts" feeling.
I have heard that Utah is not good for mental health treatment by family who live there. Here, where everything is publicly funded MI is at the bottom for funds. I am lucky in getting into a program so quickly - only 5 months, others wait a year or longer.
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Mags Depression diagnosed March 1996 PTSD diagnosed January 2000 BPD diagnosed September 2013 |
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