cut long story short, my bf is away in london to see his girl/ lad mates..
he said he didnt wan tme thee as he didnt want the responsbility of me being happy. las two times ive met them all as couples n that, i was pregnant nd unfortunately had a miscarriage , these didnt know that n just thought i was being sick etc for attention or something. anyway, last night he calls me at 10pm to tll me he misses me n goodnight etc. n his girl mate grabs the phone asking why i aint there. i didnt know how to react. n now i cant stop thinking about it nd why do i feel the only way il be happy is if he tells me heregrets not takin me ? i feel so unworthy and if he loved me really then why is he doing this? xxxxxx and hw do i tll him how i feel without looking like a jealous raving loony???/

help advice would be gratefully received xxx

[beloiseau]

That sounds like a difficult situation... I would tell him honestly how you feel about him not inviting you, and say you would have liked to go. And my best advice is don't worry about what his friends think, they don't know the whole situation and surely would be sympathetic if they did.

[Shadow_wolf500]

We'll if he called you out of the blue he must miss you and you were on his mind. Plus if his friends wanted to talk to you they must miss you it seems ( mind you I don't have all the info) But I would most definitely talk to him and let him know it bothers you. Then ask him why. Because ones invented reasons are always worse than the real reasons which only you two have. We'll at least my invented reasons usually are lol. Till then take deep breaths solve it when you talk to him, in the meanwhile go accomplish something you do have control over like laundry or pretty crafty something or other. Always help get me out of the " slumps" I fall into. Hope I helped you feel better. And thanks for the friend request let me know if you need to talk. I check this thing every morning at least. :0)

chhers to u both. i realise i am goin round in circles in my head and am goin insane why do i now feel worse speaking to him on the phone. its like raw hurt xxxx

[Shadow_wolf500]

Maybe you miss him? Maybe hearing on the phone sent you to a spiral? I guess you have to find that answer. Can you call him and talk to him even if the idea bothers you? I truly think you'd feel better afterwards.

yeah i do miss him, really badly tbh xxx n yeah it damn triggered me off xx yeh i think il call him again xxx

[Shadow_wolf500]

Right on let me know if you feel better. My gf and I worked together 1 on 1 for years before we started dating. ( you don't date gayboys don't you know lol) but over time we got to be rather codependent we were ALWAYS together now we work at. The same place but it's a resort and we work separate hours and it's really hard for me some days when she's not here. I can't imagine if she was far away like that for that long. ( but I've never spent more than 2 days alone in a house without some serious repercussions.) anyways know where your coming from. Keep me posted

Hahaha as a girl I wouldn't think a gay boy would like me anyway lol though they make amazing friends lol xxx
Anyway I feel
Even worse right now cos I know he's home n had food n can't contact him. I guess he's fell asleep but my head is like ' he don't love you as much as he did before you argued' and has caused me to have a panic attack right now am feeling low. I've just woke me mum up in hysterics xxx I feel so stupid

So tho I know he's not doing harm cos he's asleep, I can't help myself n I grab my phone n call another 20 times . Me dad reckons I'm just a plain psychopath lol xxx

Something else I recognise, I hate change and last minute plans. We had plans that Friday night n his mates called up and anted him visit them xos he ain't seen them I. Months n I was immediately put on the back burner. This again added to my hurt xxxx

[Shadow_wolf500]

We'll moms are there to help you. And my dad always thinks I'm crazy lol yeah I hate last min changes like that because I'll invoke the I'm less important mindset ( that's a roller coaster hard to stop). Just keep patience you'll talk to him. And the he doesn't love me as much as before you argued. Meh that sound like a tape player you put through you mind lol ( I play that tape too) just keep patience you'll talk to him. Then hopefully you'll feel better.

Random side note: do you ever feel like your addicted to being sad? Like its a wave you have to have before you can even start to feel better? I do that and use sad music ( really sad music) but sometimes it makes it worse. Or I'll run thoughts around with censorious that being me down. It's like I can't allow myself to find happiness sometimes.

[technigal]

First off, I am really sorry you had a miscarriage. I know how hard that can be.

Second, I think it is a part of BPD of not wanting to be alone. Right now my husband works part-time at the cinema in the evenings. I hate him being gone. I know he is at work but I want him home with me.

Originally Posted by Shadow_wolf500

We'll moms are there to help you. And my dad always thinks I'm crazy lol yeah I hate last min changes like that because I'll invoke the I'm less important mindset ( that's a roller coaster hard to stop). Just keep patience you'll talk to him. And the he doesn't love me as much as before you argued. Meh that sound like a tape player you put through you mind lol ( I play that tape too) just keep patience you'll talk to him. Then hopefully you'll feel better.

Random side note: do you ever feel like your addicted to being sad? Like its a wave you have to have before you can even start to feel better? I do that and use sad music ( really sad music) but sometimes it makes it worse. Or I'll run thoughts around with censorious that being me down. It's like I can't allow myself to find happiness sometimes.

Yeah! My mum seems to think am addicted to wallowing lol but I don't think I do this on purpose. But if am left to it I listen to sad (usually love songs) songs and cry n then I feel able to move on then hahah xxx

Originally Posted by technigal

First off, I am really sorry you had a miscarriage. I know how hard that can be.

Second, I think it is a part of BPD of not wanting to be alone. Right now my husband works part-time at the cinema in the evenings. I hate him being gone. I know he is at work but I want him home with me.

Also I have to have constant contact when I know he's at work. I look like a weirdo to people who don't know how I am. He understands most of it I guess but not fully? Xxx how r u today

[technigal]

Originally Posted by muaythailady88

Also I have to have constant contact when I know he's at work. I look like a weirdo to people who don't know how I am. He understands most of it I guess but not fully? Xxx how r u today

I am well. Tomorrow my DH starts a new job and so I am back to being home alone during the days. Kind of looking forward to having my days back. This morning was busy with appointments for my son but he is now at school.

How are you doing?

Usual Mags xxx depressing myself

[technigal]

Originally Posted by muaythailady88

Usual Mags xxx depressing myself

Sorry that you are depressed. I can tell you that it does get better.

Too many issues Mags xxxx

[technigal]

Originally Posted by muaythailady88

Too many issues Mags xxxx

I have too many issues as well, but with therapy and reading it has gotten better, not perfect but better then it was.

[borncatastrophe77]

I deal with this also. I constantly deal with the fact that he does things like trips and work holiday parties without me. It feels so crappy. He always has an excuse as to why he does it but it does not go over well with my heart. I always feel left out of his life and like he does not want to be associated with me out in the "real world". We have been together for almost 18 years and have kids together but that is how it is. Like right now he has planned a trip this weekend to meet up with an old friend and his girlfriend. This weekend is valentines day and when i mentioned that he had a fae like oops and said that was a mistake,,, but it hurts like heck. He actually told me he has been wanting to break up for the past month though because of my non communication, my anger issues, etc... so whatever. Feels like ****

[Angel of Bedlam]

I couldn't handle my guy hanging out with women at any time or place. My skin would be crawling with insecurities. I would tell him how it makes you feel left out and upset. I told my bf early on that was something I couldn't tolerate and he has been understanding of it. There's nothing wrong with boundaries that you both can sit down and agree upon.

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[Fuzzybear]