[doglover1979]

My Pdoc and I decided to reduce my dose of risperidone over time and I am now down to the lowest possible dose once a day.

At the same time, there is a lot of stress at home right now.

I have been finding myself caught up in webs of thought. Thoughts just shoot off from other thoughts and create new thoughts and so on. I get totally wrapped up in this at times. The emotion roller coaster is usually part of this problem, and most of the time it starts with being angry, but sometimes it is triggered by other things.

I have also been experiencing some fleeting dissociation where things go fuzzy and feel unreal. Sometimes this feeling is accompanied by a mild paranoia, like thinking people are judging me or don't want me around.

And I'm seeing myself splitting again, yesterday the manager at work simply asked me to do something and I thought "I hate her!", out of nowhere. She didn't stab me in the eye or anything, she just asked me to fold towels!

Luckily, I have successfully been navigating this stuff using DBT skills, but it is so uncomfortable. I can't figure out if its the reduction in my meds or if its BPD symptoms triggered by stress.

Any thoughts? I was feeling so proud for being close to dropping another medication. The weight gain from it has been intolerable, I have put on forty pounds from it. If I don't absolutely need this med I want off of it.

[kaliope]

if you are experiencing an increase in symptoms, it is likely due to the decrease in meds. maybe you should stop decreasing the dosage. I understand the desire to get off meds but if they are helping improve your quality of life. perhaps you can change to anther AP that doesn't cause weight gain. there are so many of them out there, but it sounds like your dbt skills are working. great job! keep up the good work!

[Verity81]

I can so relate to the web of thoughts and emotions. Mine usually stem from fear. Also I have been feeling like things are unreal, I believe our brains start to think things are unreal when the emotions are too intense, like a defence mechanism.

I think you should stop decreasing the meds too and see if the symptoms settle down. It could be that in a couple of weeks or so they improve as your body adjusts.

Also well done for managing using the DBT skills! I'm only just learning them and finding it daunting.