[ImNotHere]

So i talked to my therapist today about the possibility of having BPD. I honestly don't see how i do not have it because I exhibit almost all the symptoms.

My therapist asked me if I like drama, I said sort of but not that much. She basically said that since i do not like drama and since I am not very manipluative ( i am somewhat/in certain situations) that I probably do not have BPD.

I feel like she thinks if you don't have every single part of a disorder and are not like everyone else that you do not have it at all.

I am confused by this, so since I do not like drama does that really rule BPD out?

How can I see that I have several of the symptoms and share those with her and she still doesn't think I have it? I am just so confused and do not understand, I feel like she just wants to label me as having major depression/anxiety/social issues and let it go.

[technigal]

There are a lot of professionals who are hesitant to diagnose anyone with BPD. You only need 5 of the 9 traits. Personally, I HATE drama but I have 8 out of 9 of the traits.

[beloiseau]

Same. I have exhibited all of the traits at some point or another, and still meet a lot of them. I think that's a pretty judgmental view for her to take. I've had a nurse practitioner and a therapist tell me that I don't have BPD based soley on the fact that I wasn't calling the office everyday and being manipulative. Ridiculous.

[ImNotHere]

I am so happy your brought that up because she said something similar to that. She said someone with BPD would be emailing her more, trying to control or manipulate situations with her. How the heck am I supposed to get a legitamte diagnosis if she isn't willing to not see in terms of if you do not have all the symptoms then you do not have it at all.

I don't want to diagnosis myself but how can she not see what I see? I have most of the symptoms but I guess I do not meet "exact" criteria for the typical BPD?

I am frustrated

[krisakira]

What an effed up doctor. Drama and "Manipulative" are not even on the list of criteria for BPD!!!! I hate drama, and it is such a MYTH that people with BPD are manipulative. Chances are, we don't have the skills to make such a complicated scheme about our interaction with other people on a daily basis. Don't listen to this "professional"!

[ImNotHere]

Thanks for the responses. I really do not understand why she would say that because I am not dramatic or manipluating her that I do not have it. I feel like she has this ideal "bpd" and if you don't fit it then you aren't it. I literally fit almost every criteria/symptom of bpd and gave her specific examples and still nothing..

I don't want to start all over and get a new therapist, it will take forever to get to a diagnosis. I want a diagnosis because I want to be validated, I want to know that what I am feeling has a reason behind it and a solution/help in the future.

[aleej28]

"The DSM-5 defines the main features of BPD as a pervasive pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self image, and affects, as well as markedly impulsive behavior."

Drama and manipulation have almost nothing to do with BPD...I also dont like drama, in fact I avoid it so much that I'm basically a personal doormat for anyone and everyone. I am a bit manipulative with certain situations but I'm also a teacher/mom so I kinda have to be lol.

I didn't get diagnosed with BPD until my second inpatient stay after being treated for MDD and anxiety for almost 2 years by the same therapist and psychiatrist. It wasn't their fault though, I hid things a lot and dont like to talk to people about myself, my doctor at the hospital basically had to lock me in a room with him for hours until I got evvvverything out. So yeah, I would say your therapist isn't too familiar with BPD or is too set on classifying it as something else so they wont even consider another diagnosis.

[Happy Camper]

Originally Posted by ImNotHere

She said someone with BPD would be emailing her more, trying to control or manipulate situations with her.

...I don't want to diagnosis myself but how can she not see what I see? I have most of the symptoms but I guess I do not meet "exact" criteria for the typical BPD?

She sounds like she might be a little BPD with such black and white thinking.

[beloiseau]

Originally Posted by ImNotHere

I am so happy your brought that up because she said something similar to that. She said someone with BPD would be emailing her more, trying to control or manipulate situations with her. How the heck am I supposed to get a legitamte diagnosis if she isn't willing to not see in terms of if you do not have all the symptoms then you do not have it at all.

I don't want to diagnosis myself but how can she not see what I see? I have most of the symptoms but I guess I do not meet "exact" criteria for the typical BPD?

I am frustrated

It is so frustrating when we see that we fit the criteria, but they don't want to diagnose it. I'm currently in the, you only have features, stage. It takes a long time to diagnose a PD, so I guess that's all they can really say at this point. And I am super high-functioning, except for the past few months, so I can see where it is hard to see that I have such dysregulated thoughts when I look fine from the outside.

[Verity81]

I hate drama, but I do create it when I get fearful and unwell. Maybe its not drama as such just emotional and needy but I certainly hate it, there is no way I like it!

People are all different and one person with BPD will not behave exactly the same as another.

Also I agree drama and manipulation are not even in the criteria!

[Painting w/t Soul]

I agree with Verity. If you think about the DSM, it was meant as symptomatic guide leading to a diagnosis. Personality disorders are however a lot more personal to a patient than a doctor may realise, hence why BPD self diagnoses is so prominent. Why do many BPD patients feel their doctors aren't listing and/or treating them harshly with their world choices/medications?Do you think normal knows what BPD feels like and the inverse?If you knew you could just change...

Ask yourself, drama implies drama over and above a level of normal. How would you know if such drama was just the way you have always experienced life or drama as per the therapist's checklist? In my opinion most BPD suffers probably dislike drama, because their lives are so full of it due to "normal" interactions, that any form of stability is a welcome relief.

Maybe the therapist was trying to guide you into talking about interactions you found dramatic to gain more insight?

Anyway if you are looking for the actions, they may be present without your knowledge, as a reaction to splitting, for example:

[drama] Your post is effectively creating drama if you view the therapists question as a simple yes or no question.Why did you interpret the question as

-"I feel like she thinks if you don't have every single part of a disorder and are not like everyone else that you do not have it at all"
- "I feel like she just wants to label me as having major depression/anxiety/social issues"

[manipulation] Ask those question of your therapist and he/she may feel obligated to disprove it, even if it is just your personal feeling.

When I get stuck at an explanation impass I often ask my therapist to explain to me why something can't be. In your example: Why do you believe I don't have BPD? It affords you an opportunity to hear what they have actually heard about you in your sessions and interject if you feel something needs to be clarified or built on- a way to bridge understanding and ensure you both agree with the direction the treatment is heading in.

I hope this helps

[ImNotHere]

I don't know if she was trying to guide me. The first thing she said when I brought up the thought of having BPD, she said she didn't think i did because "someone who has bpd would be more manipulative, emailing and calling her more, trying to control things and create drama"

Then she just was flat out like "do you like drama" and i said sort of, but not really, and then it just seemed like in her mind she had decided i automatically do not have it because of that answer.

Our sessions do get a bit dramatic so i do create some drama but i guess she doesn't see that? I am confused.

I did ask her why don't I have BPD and above were here questions/responses. I completely feel like she is just stuck on the depression diagnosis and doesn't want to explore other things as well. I just don't understand how throughout our sessions she doesn't see something else besides just depression going on and it is super frustrating.

Also she said that even if I had BPD or some other disorder that the treatment would be the same or our "plan" wouldn't change, we would still do everything the same, which confused me a bit because I feel like certain disorders need certain types of plans or treatments. That to me just felt like so why bother even being curious if I have any disorders because our plans would not change even if I did.

She said, "Even if you have a disorder, what will that change? it won't change the course or plan you are on" I am all kinds of frustrated with her.

I really appreciate all of the responses, I feel completely alone right now, my mind is all over the place and have no one to talk to or express what is happening in my life.

[aleej28]

I'm so sorry my advice would be to find a new T and get a second opinion. T's are there for support and your T is not doing that and shouldn't make you frustrated

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