[ImNotHere]

So i saw my therapist today, she said that I fit enough of the traits/criteria to technically be diagnosed BPD but she said she did not want to diagnosis me at this time (I don't know why I have been seeing her for months)

Anyways one thing she said was that when bpd people cut or have suicidal tendencies that they usually do it to get attention, so they will tell people about their cutting and so on. Is that true? I have cut myself for over 12 years but never really told many people, so I am just wondering if this is true?

Also that bpd people love drama. She was more open this session and said her opinion may be a bit biased just because of the people she has dealt with in the past but she is trying to be open minded.

I always kept my cutting secret...only telling when people saw and asked. I've always been pretty good at covering up though so no cuts on show so having to explain was a rarity. So no, I don't and never have done it for attention. Same with being suicidal...that was purely down to feeling so low all the time and getting overwhelmed and just seeing no other way out. Oh I don't like drama either

[misfit77]

I haven't been diagnosed yet, but with my cutting I had always kept it secret-except when I am in am extreme emotional state during a fight with my boyfriend. I haven't right out told him I did it, but instead hoped he would notice. I did it sort of in front of him. I wanted him to stop being a jerk and to see he was hurting me.

I had one client (I'm an employment counsellor) who had BPD who would show me her cuts. It was really difficult to deal with. It was like she was proud of them in a way.

Don't know if that helps-I am I. The same position as you-fit the criteria and psychiatrist strongly suspects it, but not diagnosed yet.

[littlemiss44]

I have a history of cutting and I definitely don't do it for attention. I do it to try and reilive anxiety. In the long run all im left with are scars left behind. It temporarily relieves my anxiety but I know it's bad for me. Instead I try and hold ice cubes in my hands and hold them till they melt. It actually works. If you seriously feel that you have bpd you should talk to yr pdoc. Having bpd sucks. It Zaps my energy and interrupts everything in my life. Like if my best friend who I talk to all the time doesn't answer my calls I assume she's mad at me. like maybe she's tired of all my woes? I know for a fact she loves me unconditionally but I constantly question things. I am a very reciprocal friend tho and I care deeply about my friends and how they are doing so it's not just all about me.

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[ImNotHere]

I appreciate everyone responding. I have sort of another question. I have been a cutter for 12 years, I have also attempted suicide many times. When going over the criteria for BPD she said that I did not fit that criteria (self mutilation and suicidal behavior) because I have not cut in a few months. Also because I do not show off or cut for attention. Is that true? that it has to be happening right now to fit that criteria? This is sort of confusing to me.

[Middlemarcher]

I have sometimes wanted people to notice my cutting, and sometimes not wanted people to notice it.

It sounds very invalidating to have her say that, as someone who has cut for 12 years but not in the past few months, you do not meet that criterion. Same for sui.

I would not see a therapist who held the view that "BPD people love drama." Even if you manage to convince her into agreeing with a BPD diagnosis, even if she manages to change her opinions on things like BPDers & drama, I doubt that she has the skills and mindset you would need to actually make therapeutic progress.

[atomicc]

I don't think she really has a grasp on BPD, at least in my opinion. I don't like drama at all. I also don't tell people I cut. The only people who know are my boyfriend and my best friend. I don't cut on any part of the body that can be seen..unless I'm naked. So I definitely don't do it for attention. I do it release the pain and punish myself for being bad and ugly.

[Phreak]

Originally Posted by ImNotHere

Anyways one thing she said was that when bpd people cut or have suicidal tendencies that they usually do it to get attention, so they will tell people about their cutting and so on. Is that true?

Also that bpd people love drama.

Those points definitely describe my ex, but in no way describe me.

[Painting w/t Soul]

What if you were to look at attention seeking the other way round: Why would you want attention?

A)Your struggle is exceeding your coping mechanisms and you are reaching out for any/all help you can get? Like a problem hurting you that is unsolvable.Do I cut, genuinely consider suicide as no one can help me release the pain?

B)Maybe a perceived fear of abandonment, using the genuine hurt experienced and communicating it to perhaps avoid the perceived abandonment?

The DSM actually distinctly separates the two:

5.)Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

1.)Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in (5)

The true question is, is the T referring to (1) ie abandonment, hurt, reaction where attention seeking may be very prevalent to avoid the perceived abandonment or (5) which is more like a continued relapse into a state of unbearable ... where you are genuinely considering the option (attention less important because who can actually help you if you got their attention).As you can see (1) specifically excludes (5) because they represent two distinct criteria.

My guess is the T is more in the criteria (1) wheelhouse, with terms like "attention", "abandonment","manipulation","drama". Think of it this way, if I was truly suicidal, would I want people to see me tie a noose, because they will stop me... I can however feel my world falling apart if the people in my life were to suddenly disappear-not sure how I would cope and suicide may be on the list for consideration.

Do you still fit the criteria for (5)? Do you still experience that unbearable state that led to your previous cutting and attempts?If yes do you have a healthier way to resolve it?If not then yes it is probably still recurring, but you might not have been down there in a while, maybe because you are seeing a T and it is helping. If that is the case, thank your T, but let the T know you still have the capacity and it is something you want to work on

[Espresso]

Mine has always been secret. I don't talk about my self injury or suicidality unless asked (and even then I sometimes lie).

[The_little_didgee]

I'd focus on the other traits rather than self injury. Anyway, it is not unique to BPD.

[snarkydaddy]

Hello, when I use to cut I would never tell anyone. My GF at the time found it and started competitive cutting. That was the only person who knew and, yes that relationship did not go much longer then a week after her discovery.

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