[jean17]

Oh, I thought I was getting better, but I was just fooling myself. I have been keeping to myself, really staying isolated so that I had very little interaction with people. Therefore, my anxiety level, while always there, was being kept very low and tolerable.

Then I had 3 days in a row with significant time with a group of people and then a day with Group Therapy. I am absolutely plunged into the black vortex that consumes me. I am 2 months into DBT and thought it was helping. But it's not. Nothing will ever help me. All I can do is to pray for whatever it is that I need to keep myself safe during these ever recurrent periods of deep despair.

I think of you all. There is really nothing that I can say that will help you through your own nightmare. But I do so want you to stay safe. Hopefully it will pass.

[bataviabard]

It will pass! It took a lot of courage to post this. You are not alone! Many many people have been where you are and they made it through and are living, laughing, loving... you CAN do it!

[Tristan H.]

Therapy is an active process. You heal and mature through living, so you can't expect things to magically change without overcoming obstacles and meeting your fears head on. You can only hope to change your behaviour in society by confronting society. It comes with the territory, I think, that we are easily impressed by our own superficial achievements to the extent that we mistakenly believe things are better when in fact we simply haven't had any major hurdles to overcome recently.

Nothing is lost, my friend. You may decide that society has nothing to offer you. Then, no matter how unbearable the thought may be, you should at least consider the possibility of living a constructive life that doesn't involve that kind of interaction. Many sane and healthy people live such lives, and are happy because they have found a place where they can be at peace, a place where their being and the world around them is in harmony.

[Frankbtl]

Hi, you know maybe you were/are getting better, but you just kind of "threw yourself in at the deep end" a bit there. Maybe too much, too soon. Now if you'd had a couple of days more to yourself in that four day period or spent slightly less significant time with a group of people then you may have been feeling differently. Now that's not to say that you're straight back at "square one" at all!!!
Just give yourself a bit of a break again (a day, two days, three....four.....days, whatever it takes) and focus on your anxiety levels bringing them back down. It was not you at fault remember it was just down to the situations you found yourself in. Then maybe try the interactions, spending time with people at your pace. And that doesn't even need to be "significant" time to begin with!!
With the DBT maybe you just haven't spent enough time on it yet, if you've been having a lot of problems then maybe it's going to take a while longer. BUT if it turns out that it's not going to work after time, then maybe it's just not right for you. And there will be other things you can try which may be more right for you personally. DBT doesn't have to be the only answer. There can still be something that can help you.
Alison
P.S And I've got to say that you reaching out to, caring about, empathizing with others on here despite what you're going through is SO admirable.
Hang on in there, and make sure you show yourself the same care too!!

[bpdtransformation]

Jean,
Don't give up! If you thought you were getting better, that means you at least felt something positive at that time. Don't write that off.

Maybe you've shared this earlier, but can you tell a little more about your personal situation? I.e. do you do individual therapy, are you doing work or school right now, etc., do you have anything else you do like exercise to distract yourself? I know how hard it can feel to get out and do things when you are feeling down. My thoughts are with you.