Do I get points for surviving....without

anyone to help? I have no friends I would ever ever tell. Maybe because to do so would be to be considered weak. And I can't countenance weak.

I am very compassionate...emphatic.....thoughtful......

but it can't be about me. I can't be seen as weak.

So I deal, and have dealt, for the last half year with the horror of...all bad things...and I don't speak of them ...except to my dog, who has become my best friend in deed and indeed. He listens, he doesn't judge, he lets me sob on his little shoulders.

It is so awful to do this myself but I have no choice. I have to do it this way. So I ask.....do I get a discount on the next 'go-round' because I managed this one...that is, if I manage this one?

You are far from weak. You are strong and brave just for being here. I'm glad you wrote here. It makes me happy that you decided to write yr feelings down. What's yr dogs name? I love dogs and cats but I own two kitties. They bring me so much joy. What kind of dog do you have? I'm concerned that you speak of a discount card the next go around? What do you mean by that? Things that we do can really be tough to deal with. We are toughest with ourselves. Whatever you are going thru you are not alone even if it feels like it. Please keep talking here and you will find friendship...and you'll find that whatever yr going thru someone here can relate. Keep in touch...you can private msg if you want to. Hugs

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I believe in reincarnation (tho prefer not the Buddhist way...who wants to come back a rock no matter how important that rock might be to a human or animal or the next move on the chessboard)....so I hope, my next go round...I get a pass on some things. Nevermind. What will be, will be.

Thank you for your kind words. My dog is a mutt, and little and the best listener in the world. He knows when my moods change (and as I'm BPD that happens all day long) and is right there if the mood isn't right....is pain. He could be a service dog, but only to me. He's kind of shy about others. He's my most beautiful friend, and I didn't have him I could not have gotten to where I am right now, which isn't perfect and isn't well, but isn't the drop-side of giving up, either.

Thank you. I appreciate it. And you.