[jean17]

One of the hard things for me is trying to make my therapists understand how extremely difficult trying to act "normal" is. They smile and say " See you did it." While I am screaming inside, "but it cost me so much" Why don't you understand that? Yes, I can function out in the world for very, very short periods of time and then I have to hide-out, be alone for a very, very long period of time. Just because I can summon up the emotional energy to say, sing at Mass, doesn't mean that I am cured or can be cured. Do they think that I'm lying? That I am just pretending and that because I CAN be "normal" that I can be all the time or that it isn't costing me far more than it's worth. Sometimes I think that that last point is the biggest problem. I can do it, but it's just not worth the cost in emotional energy.
to all of us who struggle with mental illness and aren't understood.

[Verity81]

I think it sounds like your therapists are trying to encourage you by saying 'look you are sometimes managing to function in the outside world'. It other words you are capable and have that strength to do it.
On the other side of the coin it also sounds like you are not experiencing adequate empathy with regards to the 'emotional cost and energy' it takes out of you. Rather than screaming inside that it costs so much, say it to them. Maybe then they can begin to relate better and establish a more empathetic stance.
Also you say its not worth the cost of the emotional energy. You will probably think I am annoying as the therapists! but is it really not worth it? What is the emotional cost? What would not investing that emotional energy look like? What would your life be like? Would you not go out, stop going to church, stop mixing? and what effect would that then have on your mental health? I know for me I would get very depressed.
I know it feels soooo frustrating when you feel not understood and you want to yell 'but its not that easy!' no it isn't that easy, if it was would we be on here looking for support from people going through similar things?
I do hope though that things do get easier for you with time. Express yourself to the therapists and state how you need them to really 'get' what its like for you.
Take care

[jean17]

Yes, I admit that somehow I'm not telling my therapist how I feel. I feel like I am, but I must not be. Then again, I do agree with you in that she is trying to encourage me. But, I don't know if it's worth it. Being alone is so much easier. Just getting little bits of socialization every other day or so is enough.