[June155]

I just need to get this off my chest.

I often have love-issues , with often i mean always.
The past 6 months I have fallen in love with the total wrong person again, and I should have known better by now, but clearly I don't.
It's the third time in a row in three years, and it's the first time I can't seem to get away from him. It drives me totally crazy. And before this I was pretty much stable, but now, I once again drank myself completely wasted, ran away from the bar where he was, into the night, wishing to destroy myself.

And I've been working with him for the past 3 months, after everything went wrong (offcourse) and I cannot stand it anymore. I want to hurt him so much for what he has done to me, and I don't even know if he has actually done something, I just feel completely lost. I'm trying to avoid him, I'm trying to never see him again, but we have to work toghether and have the same friends and I'm losing it again.

And i'm sorry for the rant, and I know it doesn't really say anything, but I need to get it out. I've been holding this in for months, and I'm done.
I've lost so much weight again, I'm hurting myself, I'm putting all my energy in focussing on my work, but he ruined it. He hurt me, so much, and I want to hurt him back and there is nothing I can do, and it drives me crazy.
I feel so angry and hurt.

I'm sorry, really, I know this doesn't actually say anything, but I feel so much hate, anger and desperation that I need to find a way to say it to something. And that happens to be here. Sorry.

[kaliope]

I hope you feel better that you got that out. a loss of a relationship can be devastating and it does not seem that you have the coping skills to deal with it. Perhaps getting in to therapy to develop these skills so you can learn to deal with the anger and pain would be helpful. take care.

[Frankbtl]

Hi June, I can understand that it must be really painful for you right now. And you trusted him in a way, right? And thought after your last experiences that at least this time.........?
But you know he really isn't worth all you're going through right now- no-one is!! You're worth so much more than all of this!!
And if he wasn't the guy that you thought he was, then that's a fault with him why should you have to all of this fallout for something he wasn't?? Just give yourself real credit for seeing that he was wrong for you, putting yourself first and deciding to walk away. Some people would find it really hard to do that. And now you need to keep on putting yourself first just as you did right then. You showed real strength there make it count!!
As for having to keep seeing him, well you can try to keep as much distance physically and emotionally from him, but remember he lost out at the end of the day, right? You were willing to put so much into the relationship/did put so much in inc. emotionally but he just didn't make the grade, right? His loss!!
Now focus on you, you deserve to be feeling so much better than you have. Think about being kind to yourself, give yourself a break, and try to move on to thinking/doing things that will help you.
As for falling for the wrong people (I'm sure a lot of us have done that despite there being signs) although maybe there have been more/different signs for this latest relationship that you can learn from to protect yourself a bit more in the future. Call it a learning experience on the road to finding someone really right for you.
And sometimes there may not be any signs or no significant signs that people are wrong for us when we're getting to know them, but if you keep going with the recognition of when they come up and keep on putting yourself first then you're doing a great job. And you're getting that one step further to finding someone who's really, truly the person for you.
Best wishes
Alison

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by June155

I just need to get this off my chest.

I often have love-issues , with often i mean always.
The past 6 months I have fallen in love with the total wrong person again, and I should have known better by now, but clearly I don't.
It's the third time in a row in three years, and it's the first time I can't seem to get away from him. It drives me totally crazy. And before this I was pretty much stable, but now, I once again drank myself completely wasted, ran away from the bar where he was, into the night, wishing to destroy myself.

And I've been working with him for the past 3 months, after everything went wrong (offcourse) and I cannot stand it anymore. I want to hurt him so much for what he has done to me, and I don't even know if he has actually done something, I just feel completely lost. I'm trying to avoid him, I'm trying to never see him again, but we have to work toghether and have the same friends and I'm losing it again.

And i'm sorry for the rant, and I know it doesn't really say anything, but I need to get it out. I've been holding this in for months, and I'm done.
I've lost so much weight again, I'm hurting myself, I'm putting all my energy in focussing on my work, but he ruined it. He hurt me, so much, and I want to hurt him back and there is nothing I can do, and it drives me crazy.
I feel so angry and hurt.

I'm sorry, really, I know this doesn't actually say anything, but I feel so much hate, anger and desperation that I need to find a way to say it to something. And that happens to be here. Sorry.

your situation mirrors me so much its not even funny! i'm like the king of falling in love with the wrong people, i think i'm a pro at it. you're a little smarter than i am cause i stay so much longer, 3 times for me in the last 8 yrs..still can't get it right, i too use the alcohol to cope & it only helps for a little while, most of the time it makes it worse when i'm all alone, working together has got to be just awful right now, i can imagine..so you are much stronger than i, so hang in there it will get better, it never seems like than when someone else is saying it, but believe it or not it does!