[misfit77]

This is just a venting moment for me-I am just frustrated with having to be "positive" with having act like I am a stupid perky character from like the sound of music or something-hey there's a holocaust and a world war going on...let's sing!

I am sick of hearing how I am bringing others down. I know I am bringing others down. I am sick of people asking me why I am angry. Why I don't see the good. It's because I am depressed. I can't act happy, I can't see the good and I can't be positive right now. Why can't people just get that and leave me the F*** alone!?! If I had a broken foot would people expect me to go on a hike with them? So why do they expect me to "turn that frown upside down"?

I just wish people could let me be. Just let me get through whatever the heck this is that I am going through. Not ask me why? Is it your boyfriend? Your job? I DON'T KNOW!!! Why can't you handle life? Why are you so angry? So negative? What did life ever do to you? I DON'T KNOW!!!

Thanks for listening to me vent
Misfit

[Withered-Rose79]

I agree. It pisses me off when people think I should be able to flip a switch and change my way of thinking, change my mood, my attitude, my outlook on life, whatever. It's just not that simple. I have a friend who always has a positive attitude about everything. He doesn't let things get him down. He's decided he's going to take me under his wing and teach me how to change. At first I enjoyed his positive reinforcement about life, but now he's become frustrated with me despite me telling him a thousand times he can't "fix" me. I tell him all the time "I'm not wired that way", or "I'm not wired the same as you", and his response is that I could rewire my thinking if I wanted to, but obviously I don't want to. NO I CAN'T!! I don't even want to be around him anymore because he makes me feel like I'm being this way on purpose; like I'm choosing BPD. Most people don't/can't understand and they don't want to. I too am sick of the questions. "What's wrong, why so down, why the long face?" GO AWAY!

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[atomicc]

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I'm often told the same thing about my attitude. People don't understand how I can be just absolutely pessimistic about everything.
I think it's a gift.

[Fuzzybear]

Same. Sometimes I get so frustrated with my therapist when she tells me to just stop being so negative.

[misfit77]

Thank you for your replies.

I get why people feel the need to say something. I get why people don't like to be around a negative person. But is just gets so hard. I DON'T want to be angry! I DON'T want to be negative. I DON'T want to bring people down with me.

At the same time there just seems to be a lack of compassion. That's a general thing with mental illness. If I had cancer and was tired people would pity me and feel sorry for me, but if I am a little grumpy because I am really stressed out I get lectured about how I need to "be more positive" or "learn not to take things so seriously". I am sick of the double standard when it comes to mental illness. Why do people have compassion when someone who suffers a physical illness is feeling bad, but if I am feeling bad I have to change my attitude? There's no compassion...or it there is it's a ....I'm compassionate...BUT....you should be doing this, or that... I just get so sick of it.