 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#126
Apr 23, 2014, 01:54 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Doing better
 By better, I mean that I haven't experienced any emotional breakdowns in almost a week, and I am not struggling (too much) with feelings of loneliness. Going to try to maintain this low level of emotionality for the rest of this week: These are my "baby steps." Happiness will be the ultimate goal. |
 Bill3, lynn808
|
|
#127
Apr 23, 2014, 02:28 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Am almost afraid to say things aren't too bad right now, almost good. I am healing and moving around now. Am due to get my ride back soon. Housing is def gonna change for the better real soon. Am cared for and loved and understood by "family" around me. The judgement has stopped. Came through intense back surgery better than could have dreamed of. People around me really care what happens to me and want me to be happy and accepting. All these months and years of baby steps have moved me forward to another place in time now. I feel that I have actually moved forward along that journey and have gotten past the fork in the road. Was stuck at that fork for a long time, and can now look back on it-which is weird!!!!. Am so afraid to take the next steps, but also must believe every step is now a new and exciting step for me. My life is better and I am becoming more whole and less fractured than ever before in my life. Hope this makes sense to someone else. There is fear and panic along every step tho, darkness around every corner, and ghouls waiting in my sleep still......but this too shall pass as I move into the sunlight and back out of the shadows.....I want to bask in the sun again and grow.
Sorry about the rant!!!! |
| Bill3
|
|
#128
Apr 23, 2014, 04:24 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I hate him.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
 Bill3
|
|
#129
Apr 23, 2014, 07:52 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I need a friend..I'm angry and sad at the same time and not having safe thoughts...I have ZERO people to go to...stupid helplines are useless...I'm listening to Last Resort and Adams Song over and over again...
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
| Bill3
|
|
#132
Apr 24, 2014, 06:38 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Is that Last Resort by Papa Roach? I must admit I can sooo relate to that song! Pop in the chat room on here if you feel bad I've found it really useful Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Verity  
|
| Britneigh
|
|
#134
Apr 24, 2014, 11:36 AM
|
|||
|
|||
 so depressed still.... got out of bed and put on clothes. improvement from yesterday. Arguing with everyone. I want to run away. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. tempted to self harm, abuse meds, drink something to dull this pain.........sigh |
| JadeAmethyst, lynn808, SkyWhite
|
|
#135
Apr 24, 2014, 01:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
A bit more insight at the moment, found the energy to take my dog buddy Sammy to the dog park. Actually spoke to another dog's person briefly. (I am not chatty at all with most people, ever.)
This is productive today. It's ok. |
| lynn808
|
| lynn808
|
|
#136
Apr 24, 2014, 02:10 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Having some good insights today, but I'm weepy and unmotivated. Had a T session yesterday, so this is the day things start to come up for me the most. It seems like everything is a trigger these days. This is really hard!
|
| Anonymous100165, lynn808
|
|
#137
Apr 24, 2014, 03:43 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
Hang in there. |
| Anonymous37965, lynn808
|
|
#138
Apr 24, 2014, 05:40 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
...so met someone I thought understood...well, he said he did, but just found out his opinion of people with BPD is....less than flattering. Now, I feel betrayed although he's not really important enough for me to actually FEEL betrayed. Just the residual, and the reminder that I can't really trust anyone.
I tell myself, no worries.....but it hurts a little just the same. I just don't understand people who pretend to 'get it'....but really don't...and rather than ask, they tell others so it comes back to you, that they are obviously clueless. Oh well. Nevermind. 
__________________
 Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
| Anonymous37965, lynn808
|
| lynn808
|
|
#139
Apr 24, 2014, 06:36 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
made it back from my trip to portland, wasn't good or bad..didn't go as well as i hoped but i'm still alive.. i missed you guys!
__________________
I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!  
|
| Britneigh, lynn808, waiting4
|
|
#140
Apr 24, 2014, 06:39 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
My head hurts and I feel too much and too little.
My best friends birthday is fast approaching and I'm starting to think I won't be able to handle it. I miss her more than I can say
__________________
Allie Diagnosed: Generalized Anxiety Disorder & Obsessive Compulsive Disoder. Previous: Borderline Personality Disorder. I no longer qualify for a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder, but there will always be my borderline traits that I struggle with especially during times of great stress. I've been working passionately as a therapist since December 2016
 |
| Anonymous37965, Bill3, lynn808, SkyWhite, waiting4
|
|
#141
Apr 24, 2014, 07:32 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
| trying2survive
|
| Bill3, Espresso, Verity81
|
|
#142
Apr 24, 2014, 07:40 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
I believe the only people who really "get it" are the people who have it.
__________________
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. |
| JadeAmethyst, lynn808, waiting4
|
|
#143
Apr 24, 2014, 07:46 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Staying afloat the only way I know how...most wouldn't approve but it is what it is.
__________________
Life's so dark when every day is a struggle
Why go out and see the world on fire Don't let your mindset become what controls you Speak right now and make the choice to grow |
| Bill3, lynn808, trying2survive
|
|
#144
Apr 24, 2014, 10:21 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
|
| Bill3, Britneigh, Verity81
|
|
#145
Apr 25, 2014, 01:58 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
Do you have the album? It's great. When I need angry songs I also listen to 'Feelings' by Offspring and 'Knives' by Therapy. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
__________________
Verity
|
| Bill3
|
|
#146
Apr 25, 2014, 04:05 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
recovering from yesterday, i think i might have drank more than i should have..
__________________
I have learned that i and i alone am responsible for my happiness, most people these days are as reliable as wet toilet paper!
|
| Bill3
|
|
#147
Apr 25, 2014, 06:49 PM
|
||||
|
||||
  .gif "Sad Girl")   too many moments of holding and biting my tongue today.....there's got to be a better way....really there's got to be...I hate this, but when I am close to honest with people, I am the "crazy" one...,example: H is really acting and sounding like a 2yo while we are out doing chores today, does this a lot. I quietly say: that's cute the first time, but not now.....H: "What's the matter are YOU not feeling well, why are you so grumpy? I say: Stop, let's go finish up what we're doing. H: more 2yo acting/talking. I: ignore.... I feel like I am the parent in most of my relationships, it sucks, I hate it, and I am p.o.d GRRRRRR |
| trying2survive
|
| Bill3, waiting4
|
|
#148
Apr 25, 2014, 08:01 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
The person I love the most too, my boyfriend Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
|
#149
Apr 25, 2014, 08:08 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Feeling a little down. Sometimes I randomly think of things people have said to me that have deeply hurt my self esteem. I've been off my meds for almost over a week now because they've been causing acne, which I have suffered for many years now. I finally have clear skin and I'll risk "getting better" for that.
Another thing, I feel so isolated at uni. I hate everyone and I feel like everyone hates me too, even tho I've never interacted really with anyone...so I don't know. *trigger* Sometimes I feel like there's no point. Life is all about the people you have supposedly but I have no one. I will always have this concrete wall that separates myself. I used to be so optimistic, I used to think people were full of good. Now I'm filled of hate and ugly inside to out. But in a way I can't really blame myself because people have treated me like dirt. Some days I don't even think it's a personality disorder. Some days I think I'm just a ****** person and these are the consequences of my ****** behavior. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| trying2survive, waiting4
|
|
#150
Apr 25, 2014, 10:52 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I went for a drive and spent most of it yelling at the idiots on the road. (Use your verdammte turn signal!) The evening was stressful, and I had to calm myself by using some unhealthy coping methods. And I took my sleep-aid too late, so now I'm up later than I should be. All in all, I've had much better days.
|
| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
