Separate voice?

I find that when I am at my most stressed out or down on myself there is a voice inside my head that belittles me. It is my own voice, but it's not me because I can think other things at the same time. I tells me things like I should kill myself and I am worthless and a complete failure. It urges me to harm myself.
I've had this since I was a kid, I guess it's just the other side of me.
Does anyone else get this when they are stressed or depressed about themselves?
I listen to it sometimes, sometimes I can ignore it.

Wish I didn't relate to this so much. Thankfully I haven't heard voices like those in a few months. My voices often say that I'll never be worth anything, I'm ugly and I should just die. The only difference is whenever I try to ignore them they kind of take over my body and make me hurt myself until I listen to them. Really frightening when it happens. I'm sorry you have to experience this too.

i listen to them when they i listen to them they tell me to hurt/kill myself makes me feel alone and negative stance on all of it. but I have 5 voices that come and I tell me that I am worthless and no one loves me hardly hard to tell. I never hear good stuff coming out of they're mouths

You said it's your own voice? I find that I can get intrusive thoughts and think other things at the same time. Intrusive thoughts become so automatic that they just appear as soon as I'm stressed saying things like 'you will never get better', 'I wanna kill myself' or 'I'm stupid' etc I can think other things but still get them in the background.

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I have someone inside who just needs to scream and feels he has no voice at all. I don't hear him but can feel him looking out from inside when I'm troubled.

Paul

Yeah I suppose it is. I get a lot of intrusive thoughts but this voice is different. It doesn't say "I" only "you". I'm sorry you hear it too sometimes

OMG! i get this all the time, whether if i'm stressed,depressed or even if things are going good, if things are going good, it tells me that it won't last and things are going to f*** up and i'm gonna go back to being miserable again.

I don't hear any audible voices per ce, but I do hear "No one can love you like this" or "You have no 'effing' idea do you?" I thought it was just negative self talk.. but yes.. Its never "I" its always "You"

I get a mixture of 'you' and 'I' but then when I actively think about myself I also use a mixture. Also I find that when I use 'you' actively as in pre-planned rather than intrusive I am standing back from myself or the parts I don't like, as if they are not really me e.g. Parts I don't want to own anymore such as anxiety.

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I call him Vincent because he sounds like Vincent Price. I can totally relate to what you're saying. Last time he showed up it was after a near breakdown. The voice is distinctly different from my internal monologue and it solely exists to kick me when I'm down.

I just joined this group but wanted to chime in. I have the exact same "voice" I know it's my own voice but I'm not controlling it and have a hard time getting it to shut up. It's usually when I'm extremely stressed and/or depressed. It usually says stuff like "your so stupid" "people think your weird" "everyone hates you" "you should just kill yourself" "you need to die" etc...when I am able to step back and realize what's happening I try to say good things to myself to combat the "voice". I try to talk to myself as I would to someone else who was really struggling. It sounds silly but I tell myself things like "it's ok honey, your going to be ok" and "it's going to get better" and "you poor girl, I'm sorry your hurting so bad. Sometimes it helps sometimes it doesn't. I know if I said it out loud it would sound absolutely insane but I think it's important to fight against that negative voice and acknowledge how much pain Im feeling.

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My voice is very loud tonight. Actually the last few days and she seems to be getting worse. I'm having a hard time resisting doing what she says. And I'm feeling particularly alone right now, which makes it worse.

I'm sorry, I hope you are okay. <3
Last night when I particularly stressed out and upset at myself my voice said
"Kill yourself or I will do it for you" I suppose I was very mad at myself..

I get similar intrusive thoughts all the time. But I've also heard a voice in my head that wasn't my voice telling me how worthless I am. The former happens often and at any time but doesn't last long. The latter is rare and has only happened when I was extremely tired. I had to work very hard to get it to stop.

I get that to a lesser degree. If you're struggling with it, don't hesitate to message me <3

Hey Atomicc,

I am sorry that you are dealing with intrusive thoughts... It is certainly troubling - especially when we are unable to understand why or how they come to be so bothersome.

In my therapy I have learned that these thoughts are extremely important in discovering what is going on inside ourselves. Obviously the negative self-talk is typically due to low self-esteem and self-confidence, and hopelessness and the whole gamut of negative...

What has helped me in the past is to simply: Sit with it.

There's a saying that has stuck with me for a long time and that is, "Befriend your emotions."

Essentially; by learning to sit with your thoughts - allowing them to come on as they normally would without trying to interrupt them or control them - they will come and go as if they are waves. Keeping in mind the saying, "this too shall pass," is a blessing when caught up in the storm of thoughts and emotions.

The whole metaphor of learning to, "ride the waves," in therapy - is a very formidable concept for this type of intrusive thought dilemma. That along with the emotions that surely come on as a result of these thoughts can truly tell us know what is going on - and can allow us to see it for what it is: An episode, a wave, a storm - and we have survived it before and we can survive it again. The important thing is to remain aware when it happens so that we can learn to ride it, and not fight it - because when we try to fight something that is inevitable, (like a storm) we can end up worse off than before.

The fact that you say it happens when you are stressed or depressed makes sense. Have you by chance noticed if you are being thrust into a situation or circumstance that you may be uncomfortable being in? Perhaps you have a fear of failure... Perhaps that internal commentary is negative self talk - trying to tell you that you are not worthy of living a better more advanced life? I only say this because you have said that you are actively moving forward, going through school and pushing yourself through very stressful experiences.

The important thing to remember - is that you are living a considerably - high functional lifestyle - despite the burdens given to you. If you continue to place yourself in uncomfortable situations over time - I think you can learn to conquer these thoughts - whether they are negative or not. And from what you have said - I think you're well on your way to becoming a self-sufficient - fully functional individual.

I have a question for you to think about...

These intrusive thoughts, you say you've had them since you were a kid... Do you think that maybe you are haunted by a childhood memory?

I know this is hard to think about, but given that you mentioned you are typically depressed or most stressed out when these intrusive thoughts come on so strongly - it would make sense if you are holding onto something as specific as a parent or adult figure, maybe even a sibling or teacher - telling you that you are not good enough when you were a child.

(That - someone, "belittled," you - and that it has continued to affect you into the present time.)

I know that for me - having an alcoholic father, verbally abusive, sometimes physical - I have carried the years of negative belittlement sent in my direction. I feel insufficient in most situations, whether they are social situations or being tested or simple tasks given to me by an employer... I definitely relate to the internal voices putting me down - and yes - it also comes to me as a, "you," rather than an, "I."

That being said, because you say it comes to you as a, "you," are not good enough, "you," are this, "you," are that... It would make sense that you have internalized some form of childhood trauma given to you by way of a loved one or someone you truly took to heart and or trusted.

And being that you have Borderline tendencies - it would make sense that you are subconsciously trying to gain the validation from that certain someone who belittled you as a child... Or that you are highly motivated to prove them otherwise - which you have already done.

What do you think?

Thanks,
HD7970ghz

This was all so very helpful and I will absolutely implement it. In regards to your question, I have no memory of being actually belittled like you say. My parents were neglectful and drunks but they always thought I was highly intelligent and motivated. I just hate myself for no reason I guess...