[ladybug4sarge]

I have BPD. I have to take medication, but wish I didn't! They have side effects, and never know when I'm going to hear that one of these psychotropic meds are being pulled off the shelf for causing deadly side effects! I am reading from a DBT book and it's really helping me, but still, only if I take my meds. Without my meds, I am unstable, hostile, unbearable to be around, and hurt those whom I live which causes me great regret, but I can't help it! Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else takes meds and feels like they might have to be on them for life, simply to function, and not be hurtful to the ones we love- despite their side effects?

[Trippin2.0]

Lucky you! I used to be medicated for my bipolar, but the only time they stopped me from being mean to my loved ones was when they stopped me from feeling and reacting altogether.

I flushed em...

I don't really worry about being mean anymore unless its directed at my daughter, I spend a lot of time leashing my BPD. Gets exhausting at times, but the new habits are slowly but surely becoming more natural reactions for me...

I'm glad you find that meds help, we all need to find what helps, and make use of it.

[gayleggg]

I have to take my meds to stay stable, even with them, it's sometimes hard to deal with the depression.

[ladybug4sarge]

Thanks for your responses. I, too, deal with severe depression. The biggest problem that causes my anger is with my boyfriend and my jealousy issues, even if I imagine things to make me jealous. I mean, lots of things can set me off, but jealousy in my relationship is a big one. Sometimes it seems as if I am "trying" to find reasons to get mad at him, just because I can't stand the thoughts in my mind where I imagine him to be unfaithful- though he has never been. I take: Pristiq, Latuda, Klonapin, & Topamax

[ladybug4sarge]

My meds do take away some of my other good feelings, which is kind of sad, but it's better than feeling the intense depression & anger to the severity that I do when I am not medicated. I thought of trying Klonapin out as an antidepressant, but am afraid of getting addicted to it, and continually needing more of it. Right now, I take only 0.5 mg at night just to help me sleep. I need the Topamax as a mood stabilizer, but also to take away my cravings to want to eat constantly.

[littlemiss44]

I.take meds and will have to be all my life. I have bpd, bipolar 2 depression anxiety, ptsd and adhd. Lots of labels abd I hate everyone of them. But acceptance is the key to happiness I suppose. Anyways being medicated is bitter sweet. I'm so thankful that these meds are out there. If they weren't I'd be a hot mess. Unfortunately meds don't really help with bpd but they do for the things that come with it like anxiety, depression and panic attacks. Dbt is fantastic! I was in a program for three years. I graduated 3 years ago. Im back in a smaller version of dbt cause I forgot alot of the skills. I have disasociative amnesia and I forget things alot. My meds hep regulate my anger and emotions. I rage alot less and I am easier to live with. I'm 44 and I kinda freak out to think that I'll be on these till I'm old but I say oh well. It's better than the alternative.

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[ladybug4sarge]

Thank you! Yes, I dissociate all the time, too, and have terrible anger, aggression, & hostility issues when I'm not medicated. Glad I'm not alone on the medication issue. Thank you. I have been looking for a DBT Group I can go to as I know it would be better than just working from a book, but I can't find one. I live in a small town. I am thankful for my meds and know that they are a blessing from The Lord. I just wish I had enough Will-Power to do it without the meds.

[SkyWhite]

I'm on an antidepressant and mood stabilizer. Without these I don't think I would have survived the horrible winter I had. I read BPDs don't necessarily have to stay on meds forever unless they have another coexisting MH problem. I used to hate the meds too but at least they help keep me from freaking out and harming myself.

[SkyWhite]

Originally Posted by ladybug4sarge

I just wish I had enough Will-Power to do it without the meds.

You can't treat mental health problems with will power any more than you can treat cancer with will power. Talking like this sets you up to feel flawed in some way. Always remember the meds are used to help correct a brain chemistry imbalance and no amount of will power is able to do this. Be kind to yourself.

[ladybug4sarge]

Thank you for your encouraging post; I will try to be kinder to myself. It helps having this forum :-)